Wow. There is so much to address. I can understand everyone's frustration here. The conversation is going in a lot of different directions. Let me address just four things.
1. I believe the Bible. The Bible is true. We must accept what the Bible says whether we like it or not. I am not trying to change the Bible. The Bible is what changed me. All of my arguments come straight from the Bible. I have never once claimed that annihilationism is easier to believe, or more merciful, or more loving. It is none of those things. It is the absolute worst punishment imaginable. Annihilationism is not the easier belief. It is hard to disbelieve centuries of church doctrine. It is hard to preach a minority view and suffer the insults of Christian brothers and sisters. It is hard to change one's own mind. But church doctrine is not my authority. Christian brothers and sisters are not my authority. My own mind is not my authority. The Bible is my authority.
2. I affirm eternal punishment. The punishment of the unsaved is of eternal consequence. I do not disagree with Jesus. I am not calling Him a liar. When Jesus says we should fear God, who can destroy our soul, I believe Him. The excruciatingly painful destruction of a person's resurrection body and soul in the lake of fire is a terrible and fearful thing. There will be sorrow and weeping. There will be angry gnashing of teeth. There will be great torment and suffering. And when the destruction of the lost is complete, it will be final. It will stand finished for all eternity. There is no second chance. There is no longer any hope, not even false hope that those in hell might someday be released. Destruction of the soul is an eternal punishment. And there is nothing worse than that.
3. Sheol is not the same as hell. In the OT, both the righteous dead (Genesis 37:35) and the unrighteous dead (Proverbs 9:18) go to sheol. It is a place of torment for the unrighteous, and a place of rest for the righteous. In the septuagint (the ancient greek translation of the hebrew scriptures), the hebrew word sheol is translated into greek as hades. And in Acts 2:27, Peter quotes Psalm 16, which in hebrew uses the word sheol. But in greek, Peter uses the word hades to quote Psalm 16. This is proof positive from the Bible itself that sheol and hades are just different hebrew and greek words for the same thing.
Hades/Sheol is NOT hell/gehenna/lake of fire. In fact, hades gets destroyed in the lake of fire, the second death. Therefore they cannot be the same place.
Revelation 20:13-15
13 And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done. 14 Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. 15 And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.
Obviously the dead DO leave hades. Hades gives them up for judgement, both the righteous and the unrighteous. And then hades is destroyed. Any torment that happens in hades is NOT eternal. So when Jesus talks about hades, he is NOT talking about hell, NOT talking about eternal torment. He is talking about sheol, a temporary place. The story of the rich man and Lazarus is not set in a permanent hell. It is set in a temporary hades.
4. God offers all people a choice: Life or death. When Jesus uses words like death, destruction, perish... are they hyperbole? Allegory? When Paul uses the same words, are they just expressions or euphemisms? When James and Peter use them, do we not take them literally? Should we go to the greek dictionaries and find secondary meanings to support our pet doctrines? No.
The following are clear didactic New Testament teachings that present the choice of eternal life or eternal death. I have listed many, but there are many more. Please take a look at these passages, acknowledge that they are clear didactic teachings, and then use them to interpret the parables, prophecies, and visionary passages that seem to support eternal conscious torment. Don't get it backwards. This is a sound interpretive principle. You really should not interpret ALL of the following verses just to fit Matthew 25:41, 46, Revelation 14:11, and Revelation 20:10 (although you may find yourself doing exactly that, even as you are reading the list below). Please read these verses, give each one careful attention, and accept the literal truth of what these verses plainly teach. THEN consider the parable of Matthew 25 and the vision of Revelation in light of them.
Matthew 7:13-14
13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
Matthew 10:28
28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
Matthew 18:14
14 In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.
John 3:16
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Romans 6:23
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 9:22
22 What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction?
Galatians 6:8
8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
Philippians 1:28
28 without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God.
2 Thessalonians 1:9
9 They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might
Hebrews 10:39
39 But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.
James 4:12
12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?
James 5:20
20 remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
2 Peter 3:7
7 By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.