Roads, thanks so much for participating in this thread and for your question.
Yes, I am definitely leaning toward the "God may very possibly not love everyone" camp. Since my "arrival" at this position, it has affected my ministry only very subtly. Quite simply, I do not know who is elect or who is not. I can make an assumption for those who profess to love Christ that they are elect because of the fruit I see in their life. The fact that people engage me about spiritual (Biblical) things is, I believe, evidence of faith because the unregenerate sinner hates God and wouldn't care one way or the other.
The real question you're getting at, I think, is how do I interact with non-believers given my belief that God may hate them. For this, I assume that everyone to whom I witness is elect. There's no way I can possibly know if a person is elect, hence I can only assume that he is and witness to him accordingly.
The subtle nuance that I previously referenced is that I no longer get emotionally fired up when people reject the Gospel or fail to understand my arguments (Christian apologetics is also a hobby of mine). I want people to come to the knowledge of Christ. It upset me when they didn't. I felt like if my argument was effective or thorough that people should logically understand that their world-view was false, clearly see the reality of God's existence, and that there was abundant evidence to believe that Christianity is the one true religion. I witnessed to people using various approaches ranging from the message of the Gospel to the Moral Argument for the existence of God. The most frustrating points were where someone would tell me something like, "I agree with everything you've said. It makes perfect sense, but I just don't believe it." This would really frustrate me because it wasn't an outright rejection of God for some of these people, it was an inability to believe it. This reminds me of John 10:26 where Jesus says "you do not believe because you are not my sheep." How much different would the meaning be had Jesus said "you are not my sheep because you do not believe?"
Prior to coming to an understanding of Calvinism, I would get upset or have high levels of frustration with people who simply "didn't get it" when I was clearly destroying their arguments against the existence of God, or whatever. Now, however, I understand it's not up to me. Because I now know that God has loved his elect prior to the beginning of time, He draws them to Him, regenerates them, and gives them faith which produces repentance. Before I thought I was the one "convincing" them to believe, i.e. "winning souls" for Christ. What a prideful absurdity. I felt like if my argument was just a little more effective or clever, that person would be saved. Now I know that I am merely just one of God's instruments to deliver the message, but the work of building faith is 100% the Holy Spirit. I no longer feel the guilt or regret that "if I had just witnessed to him one more time, he might have been saved before he died." If someone dies an unbeliever (assuming it's possible to know that for certain), I just resign myself to the fact that he wasn't elect. It still saddens me, but God is sovereign.
This has not produced laziness or carelessness or led me to witness with less fever. Witnessing to people has actually become more exciting because I'm looking to see what God will do in this person's life.
This post went a little longer than I intended, but I felt your thoughtful question deserved a thoughtful answer. If you have further questions about why I believe the way I do, please ask.