I have been trying to wrap my head around why I can give up so many sins and actively resist temptation for many areas in my life, except for one. I have been trying to understand why God may be keeping this "sin" in my life. To humble me? Because there is a larger purpose down the road? Because it's "not time"? The reason none of this makes sense is because what's happening to me is due to my weakness in the flesh, not by any other means. I used to say that God will heal me of this when it's His time, but then I realized that God doesn't condone one to continue in sin. If circumstances around me were miserable, that would be different. That would be a better explanation as to why the timing is off when it comes to my prayers. In the case of my eating disorder, it just doesn't make sense. Thing is I believe I truly am walking with Christ as much as humanly possible. I have begun to read the bible nearly everyday (even if only a scripture), I always pray. In my prayers I start by glorifying Him and thanking Him for everything He does for me and everything He has done. When I pray for menial things (like a guy) I ask for His will to be done and to give me the strength to accept what comes my way. However, I do pray for healing when it comes to my eating disorder...I can't fathom sitting back and asking for His will to be done when it comes to this thing I'm battling with. God is not putting me in this situation. I am, but I'm stuck. Trust when I say I've gotten on my knees, I've poured my heart out, I've tried so many times asking for Him to heal me of this. I'm even ashamed to come on here and admit this because I feel like it's a testament to my lack of faith, but I don't lack faith. I tell myself He will heal me! Though it finally occurred to me, that maybe I'm praying for something that's not going to happen. I call this thread "Willful Sin" because I realized that is exactly what I'm doing. Even though God knows deep in my heart that I want to rid myself of this so that I can be closer to Him and rightfully spread His word, I wonder if this is why I am constantly questioning my salvation...or why I have in the past. I am starting biblical counseling tomorrow. I am hoping that I will change. Every time I think I've got a grip on this it just comes back a few hours or days later. I really just don't know what to do anymore. As stated in another thread: God already has a plan. What's the point of my prayers? Since this is sin, and He knows from the depths of my heart I desire healing to be closer to Him, then why am I not being healed?