Willful Sin

I have been trying to wrap my head around why I can give up so many sins and actively resist temptation for many areas in my life, except for one. I have been trying to understand why God may be keeping this "sin" in my life.

To humble me?
Because there is a larger purpose down the road?
Because it's "not time"?

The reason none of this makes sense is because what's happening to me is due to my weakness in the flesh, not by any other means. I used to say that God will heal me of this when it's His time, but then I realized that God doesn't condone one to continue in sin. If circumstances around me were miserable, that would be different. That would be a better explanation as to why the timing is off when it comes to my prayers.

In the case of my eating disorder, it just doesn't make sense. Thing is I believe I truly am walking with Christ as much as humanly possible. I have begun to read the bible nearly everyday (even if only a scripture), I always pray. In my prayers I start by glorifying Him and thanking Him for everything He does for me and everything He has done. When I pray for menial things (like a guy) I ask for His will to be done and to give me the strength to accept what comes my way. However, I do pray for healing when it comes to my eating disorder...I can't fathom sitting back and asking for His will to be done when it comes to this thing I'm battling with. God is not putting me in this situation. I am, but I'm stuck.

Trust when I say I've gotten on my knees, I've poured my heart out, I've tried so many times asking for Him to heal me of this. I'm even ashamed to come on here and admit this because I feel like it's a testament to my lack of faith, but I don't lack faith. I tell myself He will heal me! Though it finally occurred to me, that maybe I'm praying for something that's not going to happen.

I call this thread "Willful Sin" because I realized that is exactly what I'm doing. Even though God knows deep in my heart that I want to rid myself of this so that I can be closer to Him and rightfully spread His word, I wonder if this is why I am constantly questioning my salvation...or why I have in the past. I am starting biblical counseling tomorrow. I am hoping that I will change. Every time I think I've got a grip on this it just comes back a few hours or days later.

I really just don't know what to do anymore. As stated in another thread: God already has a plan. What's the point of my prayers? Since this is sin, and He knows from the depths of my heart I desire healing to be closer to Him, then why am I not being healed?
 
To keep us relying in Him-not our own will....You hit the nail on the head Tink- humility. We all need to learn it. The flesh sucks doesn't it? :eek:

The Lord chastens the ones whom He loves....(and we are all after all, dirty rotten sinners! :p)
 
Humility is not the issue, in my heartfelt opinion, Dirty. I've humbled myself to Him many times...I'm just waiting...and wondering...

He is not doing this to me to humble me. This is a sin and God does not make people sin.
 
No, but we are allowed too sin, are we not? We choose it....the people chose Barabbas, Adam & Eve chose to eat, Satan chose to fall away...

Freedom has a price
 
Exactly. I don't know how to stop it.

DRS is absolutely correct.........we choose to do what we do.

I now the Scriptures about "our bodies are the temple of God" and so on but I say to you to say that I am not convinced that what you describe as an eating disorder is a sin.

I am no authority on the medical side of this but as someone who has talked to many about it over the years IMO, most simply do not understand that an eating disorder is a treatable psychiatric disorder. I do not find that it is a sin which affects the true personality of the person involved. Can it be a concern and conviction on your part.....Absolutly.
Obviousely it is as you speak of it and how it effects your life.
IMO, however humble it may be, I think this is more of a medical problem than a religion or faith issue. I would encourage you to ask your primary care giver to set you up with a Christian counsler and see where that takes you.
 
I can't speak for the "whys", because frankly I don't know. But God often allows particular problems to stick with us because we need the trouble to move us forward in faith. People are perfected under duress, not when things are easy.
God told Paul, "my strength is perfected in weakness".
 
Life, maybe looking at C.S.Lewis' life and how he had to deal with depression and anxiety after his wife's death will help. Remember. Sharing your personal weakness in a public place can leave you open to the judgement of the ignorant or those with malice in their hearts, which is why it is all the more important you understand as best you can the causes and effects of whats going on.
What you have is an affliction. Not a sin. You must have faith that the little mustard seed planted will one day grow and overwhelm your eating disorder. Not in your time, but in God's. Do not view this as the world gauges success or failure. Like as was said, the Lord uses all manner of circumstances to move us along a path of spiritual growth we otherwise wouldn't take.
You will have strength in an area to help others some day. Ask the Lord to show you your limits and trigger points. Identify and avoid exceeding your limits. Something triggers your response. You will find some people rather predatory and/or opportunistic when it comes to realizing the control mechanisms they think they can employ against you because of your chink in your armor. Avoid them until you gain strength and understanding. You will be delivered one day.
 
DRS is absolutely correct.........we choose to do what we do.

I now the Scriptures about "our bodies are the temple of God" and so on but I say to you to say that I am not convinced that what you describe as an eating disorder is a sin.

I am no authority on the medical side of this but as someone who has talked to many about it over the years IMO, most simply do not understand that an eating disorder is a treatable psychiatric disorder. I do not find that it is a sin which affects the true personality of the person involved. Can it be a concern and conviction on your part.....Absolutly.
Obviousely it is as you speak of it and how it effects your life.
IMO, however humble it may be, I think this is more of a medical problem than a religion or faith issue. I would encourage you to ask your primary care giver to set you up with a Christian counsler and see where that takes you.

You know, Major, I am so happy you said that about it being a mental illness.l In the ED world, we call it an actual disease. It has a horrible grip on you and it nearly impossible to get over unless you get help because food is everywhere, we need food to live. It's not like an alcoholic who can put his drink(s) away, or a drug addict who just has to ensure they don't come in contact with the substance. We are surrounded by our "substance" every day and have to ensure we just have enough or not too much.

I started biblical counseling yesterday and it was great....very different approach they take, but great nonetheless. The lady takes your hand and taps on it; if it goes down that's a "yes" and if you resist, your body is saying "no". The test was pretty spot on (she was able to pinpoint that something happened while in the womb of my mother-where I was wrapped with the umbilical cord (true story)). It wasn't hocus pocus and was 100% focused on Gods healing. Have you heard of this before? It took about two hours. Anyhow, because of the duration and deepness of the test, you see them every other week or when necessary. Going two weeks without her will be hard.
 
You know, Major, I am so happy you said that about it being a mental illness.l In the ED world, we call it an actual disease. It has a horrible grip on you and it nearly impossible to get over unless you get help because food is everywhere, we need food to live. It's not like an alcoholic who can put his drink(s) away, or a drug addict who just has to ensure they don't come in contact with the substance. We are surrounded by our "substance" every day and have to ensure we just have enough or not too much.

I started biblical counseling yesterday and it was great....very different approach they take, but great nonetheless. The lady takes your hand and taps on it; if it goes down that's a "yes" and if you resist, your body is saying "no". The test was pretty spot on (she was able to pinpoint that something happened while in the womb of my mother-where I was wrapped with the umbilical cord (true story)). It wasn't hocus pocus and was 100% focused on Gods healing. Have you heard of this before? It took about two hours. Anyhow, because of the duration and deepness of the test, you see them every other week or when necessary. Going two weeks without her will be hard.

I am so pleased to hear what you are now doing. Now........stay with it!!!!

In my experience, I have not heard of someone being able to pinpoint an event in the womb, but uselly problems we have today can be traced back to an event in our early childhood which I agree with completely.

I hope the help you are getting is Bible based and you will have to be the one to test that. The most important thing for you to do is be strong!!!!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS! You are a child of God and nothing is impossible with Him on your side!
 
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