First you have to relax. Don't worry so much, god doesn't expect perfection. You are making things worst and yourself miserable by being so hard on yourself. Don't believe everything people say, I know plenty have this visual of god being this judge with a stick in his hand being a disciplinarian. Keep in mind god lives you very much, he wants you to be happy, just accept yourself and who you are. Keep god close to you in your heart and breathe!! Don't put so much emphasis on your faults, focus on your strengths and how great and wonderful of a person you are. God won't leave you, at hard times he wants you to be even closer to him than anything!! Gods love has no limits, he loves you just how you are, but you need to start loving who you are. No one is perfect, I'm with a man who is a non believer I have sex without being married. But....I love god and keep him in my heart, I pray when I can any time if the day. I talk to god all day long I pray for my man as well. God loves me just for me, just as he loves you. Regardless of my mistakes and short comings god still blesses me and loves me, answers my prayers too. Love yourself!! God loves you no matter what don't be critical of yourself, except you for you and know we are not perfect, never will be but god loves us regardless. Just relax and take it easy, breath a little and love you!!!!
It is one thing to struggle with sin you don't want to do because you love God (God will help this person). It is another to purposely sin and not care because God love's you anyway. Every sin is destructive. Someone who truly loves God does not want to purposely sin because they recognize the horrific things Jesus suffered for those sins.
Isaiah 52:14: "Just as there were many who were appalled at him -- his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being and his form marred beyond human likeness--."
This was done to Jesus as a result of sin.
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
4 Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished.
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
These things were also done to Jesus as a result of sin.
Those who love God do not want to sin because they understand what sin does and what it did to God. It is not about celebrating who we are for Isaiah 64:6 says, "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away." Rather it is about who we are in righteous Christ for the one's in him are new creations and a part of his beauty having his Spirit alive in them
