I Don't Think I Can Do This Anymore :/ ( No Judgment Pls)

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by autumn oddity, Apr 2, 2013.

  1. I just feel like God is asking to much of me.. I feel like He wants me to choose btwn Him or my mom... And I'm quite angry b/c I really have no body as is that I can relate too...My best friend is in college and busy and has lots of friends so Idk abt her.. And the church I'm serving in..I just don't feel close to my members ( they're around my age we're in our mid 20's... The two youngest are 14 and 15) and although they're sweet and polite I feel they're just close to each other and my pastor takes us all out.. I feel left out . I just don't fit in . I do try and talk to them but Idk you can't force pll who don't want to be your friends to well be or friends and I understand that.. I just feel bad BC I thought we were supposed to be a family and I feel ... Like an outsider its just lonely and disappointing BC of all places I thought church would be the one place that I'd "belong''

    But its just a repeat of HS. Solely alone. ( back to my mom)
    Any who..this Sunday me and my brother were gonna leave for church ..but my mom wanted us to stay home I didn't know why until my dad came bk from taking my mom to work and told us.. She wanted us to cook an easter dinner ..part1
     
  2. Part2 : basically a dinner she had originally prepared for us.. and when my dad told me how depressed she looked it really hurt BC my dad mistook our wanting to go to church for apathy.. I love my mom and when he went on any us not caring it got to me. I understand I have to serve God but.. I feel I gotta draw the line at my mom I don't want to lose her by crossing her..... And secondly, when it comes to God... I feel I'm working for peanuts... Compared to the rest of my members ..I'm deaf when it comes to hearing God but they can hear fine, they feel His presences... I feel nothing... They all have amazing gifts... My brother and another girl have a 5- fold ministry , the 14 yr old girl has the same gift as my pastor, casting out demons, my cousin is a prophet and other brother ..the 15 yr old has faith and will be a preacher.... And then there's me.

    I feel like I don't exp the stuff they do BC I'm not important like they are.. I don't have a five gold ministry or w/e ... I just don't.... Yet God wants me to put Him ( who barely speaks to me, who I don't feel is there ... And IMO ignores me) before my mom who's the opposite... she makes me feel special ... And its like he wants to take her, the only person who really understand s me away, so I can be completely alone... Talking to someone who won't give methe ttime of day. Its too much loneliness for me.. Its to much to ask for.. I just think it'd be better if I weren't saved. I regret it sometimes ...
     
  3. Idk God is supposed to be there for me.. But I can't see or feel him..yet others can.. Idk I feel like he enjoys my misery...


    Idk I feel if I had more gifts or something I'd be important enough for god to talk to me or w/e
     
  4. If the choice is between God and your mom, how dare you choose your mom.

    But fortunately for you, it doesn't sound like that is the choice. God is not dumb. Being with your mom for Easter does not automatically result in you choosing your mom over Him. Although, you would need to judge your heart on the matter. If God is not first, He is not first.....talk to Him and make Him feel first!!

    Those gifts you mentioned the others have :LOL::LOL::LOL:. A 14 yr old girl and your pastor can cast out demons... :LOL::LOL:. Pancakes we have no power!!!!!!!! Samson had power. Can your pastor push the church down like Samson did? All power is in the name of Jesus. There are no demons for you to cast out because they are already avoiding you perhaps? Also demons should not be cast out unless the person wants them out....otherwise you have an Emily Rose episode :LOL:. Or someone with the flu, gets miraculously cured only to land up with the Ebola virus :LOL:.

    The devil is playing on your weakness. You have to deal with it. The rejection you felt in HS and now is something you can get victory over, whether it continues or not. The devil is in this world, he will continue to exploit your weaknesses until you deal with them! God wants you to deal with them. God wants you to be an overcomer.

    You are special. God made you. You have probably heard it before, but it deserves repeating!!...God does not make mistakes!!!. David was a small man. Yet he never believed others mocking him when he faced Goliath. He trusted God was with Him and that He was in God's will and that is all that mattered.

    Remember Matthew 5:5.
     
    Major and Jake say Amen and like this.
  5. Pancakes, God loves you and has called you to peace. That doesn't mean there wont be storms but he will give you peace in the storm...just ask. Ask and you shall receive, go to a quiet place and pray for his peace and let it overflow you. In this world you shall have tribulations, but be of good cheer, he has overcome the world. Blessings to you!
     
  6. @king J yes we do, jesus gives us the power to do what he did,
     
  7. you dont understand
     
  8. Pancakes...I'm wondering if there is some false teaching you are getting from others and your church which is leading you down a path of destruction. I remember after attending certain churches where things just didn't feel "right". Something is telling me that you're not in the right place. I wish I knew more about the church you are going to and what they are teaching.

    I will write more pancakes, but if you can, please go back to the other thread you started and read my other response...I think it might be helpful. Also, before I part, let me leave you with this: I've gone through the same thing you are going through in terms of not fitting in. Just remember that in Gods eyes you always fit in. This world, as hard as it may be, is not the end all be all. We have another life ahead of us where everything is perfect and these feelings you have will completely disappear.

    Also, there are many people who have left churches because of the numerous cliques. It's not uncommon for people to go from church to church until they find the right one. Attending church is vital, in my opinion, but it can be tough finding the right one. I go to church often by myself, so don't be afraid doing this on your own right now. Remember, your relationship with God is unique and it's the only thing that matters at the end of the day. Don't worry about how you "fit in" with others, focus on how you "fit in" with God.
     
  9. No theres no false teaching, my aunt teaches straight from the bible... her teaching isn't what i have a problem with, she isn't causing my spiral...and plus thats where God wants me to serve.. its giving up mother and father for the sake of God .... remebr that verse? Idk I kinda feel like a baby but.. I dont think I can do that, I don't fit in much with people, so my mom and I have always been close... and now He, wants to take her away... and I just don't want to be alone... at least my mom talks to me.
     
  10. No theres no false teaching, my aunt teaches straight from the bible... her teaching isn't what i have a problem with, she isn't causing my spiral...and plus thats where God wants me to serve.. its giving up mother and father for the sake of God .... remebr that verse? Idk I kinda feel like a baby but.. I dont think I can do that, I don't fit in much with people, so my mom and I have always been close... and now He, wants to take her away... and I just don't want to be alone... at least my mom talks to me.
     
  11. Pancakes, what's wrong with your mother? I reread your post and maybe I'm missing something...is she dying?
     
  12. Thanks Tink, but its not doubt ..its just my fear of being alone since Ive been bymyself for so long .. but its not your job to make me feel better , I know you guys have problems of your own... Idk I just have to figure this out . Idk it just pisses me off, why would He want me to choose btwn Him and my mom > : ( she's the only person left I have that I can relate to , why would he take that away,
     
  13. Lol no she's not dying, but I have a really good relationship w/ her... and sometimes mye and my brother's dedication to church upsets her... and i love her she listens to me ,and I feel lucky to have the kind of relationship I do w/ my mom bc not many people have that, my best friend didn't ... and I don't want to mess that over.. bc after that I'll hve no one : /
     
  14. Hey pancakes, I think I get what your saying, I think that 'abandoning' your mother is not God's intent. It is about putting Him before everyone else. If you are living at home with your Mom-you would still be bound under her authority in the home according to the Bible whether or not she is 'saved'. I don't think anyone could prove enough to me that you have to fully abandon your relationship with your mother unless that is what the Spirit is leading you to do.

    Even so 'honor your mother & father' comes after 'love the Lord your God'. It is still a pretty important commandment....

    We worship God in spirit, and we honor our parents on Earth.
     
    HolyGardenMaiden and autumn oddity say Amen and like this.
  15. We do not have our ''own'' power . Many don't grasp what happens when we get saved. When we receive Jesus, we receive Jesus aka we receive God. We received ''max'' power on day 1. If you are saved you have just as much ''powers'' as any other Christian. People also confuse the gifts of the Holy Spirit. These gifts never become ours as in assets we can hold onto. We may operate or be entrusted with a gift depending on the environment / situation we are in or what our desires are, but they are never something like Samson's muscles. They are not gifts we can own. If you get proud, you lose all gifts!! Samson got pride and did not lose his gifts! But when he lost his hair :). You have to laugh at God's means sometimes.

    We all have the power to harass demons. It is really not such a feat.

    Humility is a gift. Love is a gift. The fact that you are not blind is a miracle. God heals my legs everyday so I can walk. God heals my ears everyday so I can hear. I live for Him. If He wants me to be in a wheelchair, no preacher or positive teacher who thinks he has power, will ever get me out of it. The issue is, are we in God's will? That is where we want to be. Anywhere else and no matter how rich and powerful we may be, we are and will feel lost.

    Find yourself in God's will / purpose for your life and be at peace.
     
  16. Pancakes, what makes you think God is doing this to you?

    What if it's Satan is putting you in these predicaments?

    I sent you the link on doubt and I still think you should view it even though you say doubt is not the issue, I think it's entirely the issue. If you didn't doubt God, you would never question how much love he has for you. You would never compare yourself to others. You would never feel like giving up. I see a ton of doubt in you. Nothing wrong with doubt, just try and study on what Satan does to pull you away from God. This will give you the armor you need to be steadfast.
     
  17. Pancakes, Psalm 27 verse 10. Thats what I had to go through and much, much more. God wants ALL of us. Our thoughts, words, deeds AND even our relationships. Let all things go. Turn to Christ. Trust Him. Remember. A person who's never been lonely cannot minister as effectively to the forgotten as someone who has experienced it. There are SO MANY who are hurting. Imagine what you would say to them. You have an experience that will come to bear testimony to God's abundant love. Blessed are you Pancakes...you see the world in a way most can't. You know what it feels like. THATS what makes a really effective ministry. Draw close to the Lord. It's what He wants so He can prepare you. Continue to love those around you despite how you might feel or don't feel. Nevermind how you think they may or may not feel towards you. Make your life God-centered and not relationships-centered. Watch God fill up that space in your precious heart.
     
    autumn oddity likes this.
  18. [qe="Dirtyrottensinner, post: 278660, member: 11263"]Hey pancakes, I think I get what your saying, I think that 'abandoning' your mother is not God's intent. It is about putting Him before everyone else. If you are living at home with your Mom-you would still be bound under her authority in the home according to the Bible whether or not she is 'saved'. I don't think anyone could prove enough to me that you have to fully abandon your relationship with your mother unless that is what the Spirit is leading you to do.

    Even so 'honor your mother & father' comes after 'love the Lord your God'. It is still a pretty important commandment....

    We worship God in spirit, and we honor our parents on Earth.[/quote]


    You're right, God wants me to put Him first... Not abandon my mom completely ..but put Him before her... And I am living under her roof and she's not saved yet.. And I try my best to honor her... I think.. Idk that's not a prob for me BC I love her so much

    You
     
    HolyGardenMaiden likes this.

  19. You know what.. Youre right... I struggle w doubt believing in myself and God as well.. Idk trust doesn't come easy for..Idk why.. Didn't have a horrible life.. so Idk why that area is hard for me... And I agree w you.. Studying on what Satan does.. But I kinda know my weaknesses already
     

Share This Page