Fish Catcher Jim you could be opening a can of worms with this.
I could go a few different ways with this. Our walk with the Lord is (or should be) a very personal/individual thing and yet, we are also called to be part of the Body of Christ and to '
love one another'. As you said, the specific church you attend, your family and various other circumstances can affect your experience. You don't have to spend much time with other Christians (or on Christian Forums) to discover there are a LOT of different 'perspectives' on what a genuine Christian should look like. Everyone has an opinion.
I grew up in a Christian home. I received a lot of 'conservative' mainline Christian teaching and didn't know any different until after I got married and started working in a ministry position. Then I had some experiences (long story) that completely changed my perspective and my life. My family (parents) were not happy because they did not understand what was happening and wanted me to continue in the accepted family tradition.... and keep doing things the way they had always done it.
Many people have strong opinions on the correct approach, conservative theology, spiritual life, holiness... etc. Many church goers continue to do "Church" the same way for years and years and are easily upset by relatively small changes. When does conservatism become legalism? We are meant to grow! If you do things out of habit, or think you have "made it", beware.
9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt:
10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed
*n1thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.
12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’
13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’
14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke 18 ESV)
It is so easy for us to look at ourselves (in the mirror) one way and then look at others and VERY quickly form an opinion about where that person is at. I generally cut myself a bit more slack than the other guy, because I have good 'reasons' for my failings.
Lesson? Remain humble and follow the path (calling) the Lord has for
you. And, be patient with others.