Repent Instead of Throwing Stones

B

bobinfaith

Senior Moderator
Staff member
Senior Moderator
Supporter
Hello brothers and sisters;

Since June last year we have been attending a new Church that is rebuilding without a pastor and there are only 10 remaining members. Becoming a part of this Church, serving in anyway we can has been a real blessing.

But for the last 4 weeks my wife and I were led back to a group of Christians to encourage them and lead a Bible study last night. They have been through a tough time and the study was regarding strife, combative situations, and confrontation with others in the Church. So how do we respond?

What happens when the teachings of reconciliation in the passages fall short in one's efforts? We also studied 1 Timothy 5:1-16.

It was a good study and constructive discussion followed with doing a self-check and seeking forgiveness from the Lord.

In the last week the group gave a proper stepping down from their former Church and are searching for a new Church. Today we accompanied them to a wonderful Church in our community.

The Pastor and his wife are good friends and he gave an inspiring Word of encouragement;

Every temptation to sin is an invitation to depend on Christ

If you rebuke the enemy and return to God by repenting of your sins and receiving Christ, your spirit will be reborn, your mind renewed, your life rebuilt. You will be reconciled by Christ’s redeeming work and reap the rewards of relationship causing revival to break free!

Have you been there? How did you deal with it and how did you move on?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

God bless you all and your families.
 
bobinfaith said:
Hello brothers and sisters;

Since June last year we have been attending a new Church that is rebuilding without a pastor and there are only 10 remaining members. Becoming a part of this Church, serving in anyway we can has been a real blessing.

But for the last 4 weeks my wife and I were led back to a group of Christians to encourage them and lead a Bible study last night. They have been through a tough time and the study was regarding strife, combative situations, and confrontation with others in the Church. So how do we respond?

What happens when the teachings of reconciliation in the passages fall short in one's efforts? We also studied 1 Timothy 5:1-16.

It was a good study and constructive discussion followed with doing a self-check and seeking forgiveness from the Lord.

In the last week the group gave a proper stepping down from their former Church and are searching for a new Church. Today we accompanied them to a wonderful Church in our community.

The Pastor and his wife are good friends and he gave an inspiring Word of encouragement;

Every temptation to sin is an invitation to depend on Christ

If you rebuke the enemy and return to God by repenting of your sins and receiving Christ, your spirit will be reborn, your mind renewed, your life rebuilt. You will be reconciled by Christ’s redeeming work and reap the rewards of relationship causing revival to break free!

Have you been there? How did you deal with it and how did you move on?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

God bless you all and your families.
Click to expand...
Well brother, reconciliation must be a God thing or it is a NO thing. It involves the thing that ALL HUMANS hate to admit.........
I WAS WRONG!

Both parties, must be willing to have hard and honest conversations! We have to be willing to listen to the other persons concerns.
The we must be able to take the responsibility for what we did and that is the hard part because we all know that WE never do anything wrong! If there is no apology then there can be not forgiveness!

Sometimes, some people are tooooo stubborn or hard hearted or ignorant to do those things.

You see, it always comes back to the human element......WHAT, I DIDNT DO ANYTHING---YOU DID!

Now if the parties involved are unwilling or unable to do those things, then the best and only thing left to do is pray for each other, shake hands and walk away.
 
Major said:
Well brother, reconciliation must be a God thing or it is a NO thing. It involves the thing that ALL HUMANS hate to admit.........I WAS WRONG! Both parties, must be willing to have hard and honest conversations! We have to be willing to listen to the other persons concerns. The we must be able to take the responsibility for what we did and that is the hard part because we all know that WE never do anything wrong! If there is no apology then there can be not forgiveness! Sometimes, some people are tooooo stubborn or hard hearted or ignorant to do those things. You see, it always comes back to the human element......WHAT, I DIDNT DO ANYTHING---YOU DID! Now if the parties involved are unwilling or unable to do those things, then the best and only thing left to do is pray for each other, shake hands and walk away.
Click to expand...

Hello Major,

No argument with me. Many times I apologized and took responsibility for a dispute between a brother, or a sister and myself. The other wanted nothing to do with me after making an effort to follow up with them or seek a mediator (Pastor or non-partial.) After exhausting my efforts I laid it at the Lord's feet, chose to love them and let them go.

It's sad when this ends up being the result.

Anyone else?
 
I have been there, it is a human reaction to get defensive. I know that is something I struggle with. The brother in Christ and I had a talk. I apologized for my behalf.

When things went down - it was very intense on my part. Yes even though he was at fault so was I. We addressed the lack of communication with his wife. When things went down my Uncle just has passed away, some of the things that were happening had triggered into my C-PSTD. I decided to cut him off of everything. Truly I did miss him but I couldn't handle having someone thinking I was a threat.

I had prayed about their relationship, things that were happening, my part in it and how do you want me to change and what am I to do? I send a long email to his wife - which he got because I didn't have a way to connect with her. She received it. Today she asked if I could message her on Facebook messenger [I am not on Facebook just messager].

We connected - there will be an opportunity to chat more soon.

I believe like people have said there is desire, need, want and participation for change and accountability. I could have handled things much differently. It was swift and cut throat dry. I could have taken a few days. I could have video chatted after things were calmed down with my Uncle's death. I could have done a lot things. Although again the bulk of the issues fell on his shoulder due to his lack of transparency - I did not make the situation any better by my reaction and action.

Biggest lesson I have learned is - GRACE.

What is grace? Grace can be variously defined as “God’s favor toward the unworthy” or “God’s benevolence on the undeserving.”

In His grace, God is willing to forgive us and bless us abundantly, in spite of the fact that we don’t deserve to be treated so well or dealt with so generously.

When you start to see the various of commands Jesus gave:

*Love your enemies
*Love your neighbor
*Pray for for your enemies
*Heap coals on your enemies head

Our enemies are unworthy, they are undeserving yet we bless them, we love them. We treat them generously.
I believe that we can go beyond - going our own ways and continue to demonstrate the capacity of Christ's sacrifice on the cross and God's grace that he has given to us. He still blesses the wicked. Despite of everything. More than anything it brings us back to us when we were once enemies of God.

My brother in Christ and I have mended our friendship. His wife now is connecting with me. Their relationship is now on the mend as well. Grace. God used the situation to teach a valuable lesson. God isn't done. We maybe done. But God isn't done. We want instant answer, quick fix and to reason everything away. Point is I have a point of view, you have a point of view but God is view. He sees all. When there are setbacks, they are really set ups for God's miracles to be demonstrated in our lives.

Don't give up. Make the time to drop off soup. Send a card. Continue to show the love of Christ. Sacrificial love says it all. Send a gift card. Drop off a good Christian book that maybe you want to recommend and write a little note. It doesn't have to end - unless ultimately you want it to.

Think of the testimony - Well we didn't see eye to eye, and I didn't really acknowledge my part but he kept coming around. He wouldn't give up. He showed me the love of Christ, after weeks and weeks - I was convicted. I am just saying, sometimes we cop out and miss out on the greatest lesson that could be learned from BOTH parties. Spiritual growth is often a multifaced experience [yourself and others learning exactly what it means to grow in God's Word and application of Christ's teaching in our lives]. If it is a challenge and requires you to trust God all the more - make it an item to pray. Truly. If you really care - don't think about how you want the results to be. Think about how God can use the situation to display his power, glory and grace. I know times I have failed to see that.

I hope this helps and challenges you.

Love your enemies bible verse is found in both Luke 6:27 and Matthew 5:44, where Jesus commands his followers to love, bless, do good, and pray for those who hate, curse, mistreat, or persecute them

heap coals of fire on someone's head. go out of your way to cause someone to feel remorse. British. This phrase is of biblical origin: ‘if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head’ (Romans 12:20

Mark 12:31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
 
bobinfaith said:
Hello Major,

No argument with me. Many times I apologized and took responsibility for a dispute between a brother, or a sister and myself. The other wanted nothing to do with me after making an effort to follow up with them or seek a mediator (Pastor or non-partial.) After exhausting my efforts I laid it at the Lord's feet, chose to love them and let them go.

It's sad when this ends up being the result.

Anyone else?
Click to expand...
Thankyou. Needed that right now
 
This sound a bit like an American Christian movie I saw once about a pastor taking over a church with a dwindling congregation (to close it down) and they all banded together to grow crops in the churchyard because a lot of refugees from Vietnam had come and needed somewhere to grow their crops and earn some money...I forgot it's name...
Then the church became a thriving community again and the refugees became christians (if they weren't already) and I think it was based on a true story...!
 
Lanolin said:
This sound a bit like an American Christian movie I saw once about a pastor taking over a church with a dwindling congregation (to close it down) and they all banded together to grow crops in the churchyard because a lot of refugees from Vietnam had come and needed somewhere to grow their crops and earn some money...I forgot it's name...Then the church became a thriving community again and the refugees became christians (if they weren't already) and I think it was based on a true story...!
Click to expand...

Hello Lanolin;

If anyone can remember the name of this movie (or book) I would be most interested in watching or reading.
 
bobinfaith said:
Hello Major,

No argument with me. Many times I apologized and took responsibility for a dispute between a brother, or a sister and myself. The other wanted nothing to do with me after making an effort to follow up with them or seek a mediator (Pastor or non-partial.) After exhausting my efforts I laid it at the Lord's feet, chose to love them and let them go.

It's sad when this ends up being the result.

Anyone else?
Click to expand...
Yes sir. It is one of those things in life that is "inevitable".

There are some people who can not even get along with a mirror. They have to be right, and they have to get the last word in any conversation. It is a serious character flaw and when we know what God says, we see in Matthew 7:16...........
“Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?”

Number one, fruit is character. What kind of character, what kind of personality, what’s his attitude and his motive and his thinking, perspective toward life? What kind of actions, what kind of lifestyle, what kind of pattern? All that character involves, from what I think to what I do because what I think......I will do.
 
Number one, fruit is character. What kind of character, what kind of personality, what’s his attitude and his motive and his thinking, perspective toward life? What kind of actions, what kind of lifestyle, what kind of pattern? All that character involves, from what I think to what I do because what I think......I will do.
Click to expand...
Really liked your answer. Im stealing this as a little memo for myself.
 
heap coals of fire on someone's head. go out of your way to cause someone to feel remorse. British. This phrase is of biblical origin: ‘if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head’ (Romans 12:20
Click to expand...

I do find this verse quite peculiar. Isn't heaping coals on someones head a bit akin to making them angry?

last thing I wanna do is make an enemy angry.
 
Via dolarossa said:
Really liked your answer. Im stealing this as a little memo for myself.
Click to expand...
May I add to that, by saying that is why it is so important to READ what teachers and Preachers and Politicians WRTE down on paper.

When we say something we can always say, I misspoke! I was pressured and didnt realize what I was saying. That is not what I meant!

But when we write it down, we are focing the hand to put down what is in our brain and heart! One said.......it is said!
 
Major said:
May I add to that, by saying that is why it is so important to READ what teachers and Preachers and Politicians WRTE down on paper.

When we say something we can always say, I misspoke! I was pressured and didnt realize what I was saying. That is not what I meant!

But when we write it down, we are focing the hand to put down what is in our brain and heart! One said.......it is said!
Click to expand...
Yeh actually prefer reading. I can take time to absorb something.
Too much charisma and other distractions like gestures is sometimes spoils the broth. I can only imagine thats why hitler managed to rally a crowd against the Jews.
 
When I was younger, I avoided people who had drama and conflict swirling about them; the difficult-to-get-along-with people. Now in my second marriage, I have learned over the years from wife number 2, some ways to navigate these types of confrontations or squabbles, or whatever you call it. One big thing is to learn to discern people you meet and spend any extended time with, like co-workers or people in your church family. Listen to their stories they tell about their pasts. Ask them about their lives, get to really know them. You soon find out who you can poke fun with or who is touchy about things. If they have strong feelings about a subject, tread carefully. Like Via said, if they are heck bent on jumping off a cliff, don't get in their way. (Paraphrased)
Learn the person before getting knee deep in the weeds with them, if you can. If you are forced into a situation with someone new, first thing is to ask them if there is anything you can do for them to make it an easier task. Show you are willing to work with them.
There are some people who just don't work well together, like oil and water, they don't mix. You just have to allow them to be them and you be you. Keep the Holy Spirit on speed dial.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top