Hi,
My relationship with Jesus isn’t the best.
I’m worried because I don’t really feel emotions for Jesus.
I’ve been Christian since start of may 2020.
I don’t have a close relationship with Him. [Jesus].
I feel scared because I’m not close to Him.
He scares me and I’m scared because He judges and that He tells people to leave.
[Matthew 7:23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!']
I’m scared because incase what if I don’t love Him.
I’m scared incase I don’t love Him.
Sometimes I feel rushed in time and pressured.
Matthew 15:8
"'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.
I’m scared incase it’s a heart problem.
Sometimes I don’t feel like a desire to pray and a desire...
is a relationship with God the Father and a relationship with Jesus, one relationship or two relationships.
ever since I became Christian, I focused mostly on God the Father and feel emotions for Him. And thought about Him mostly.
thanks for reading
Hi, Caitlin. I am 5+ years new in the Lord.
When I was saved, I believed HE paid - on the cross - for all of my sins, past present and future. Therefore I do not fear Him (as being afraid), but do fear Him - as in reverence. You indicate sometimes you are not CLOSE to Him. I have those feelings, as well. (I do also believe most if not all Christians may experience times of not feeling close to the Lord.) I do ask forgiveness and know HE is merciful and has COMPASSION for my sins/weaknesses. I have dry periods when I do not feel like praise music or praying (and at this time it is so). When we have "dry" spells, it is challenging to "hear" our Father speak. Even you do NOT have dry spells ... (I believe) it is possible you will not feel close to Him. Just tell Him so ... talk about it ... in "Caitlin" speak. I will pray for you that you know Jesus as your Personal Savior; that you can confidently speak with Heavenly Father/Jesus/Holy Spirit, that you may discern HIS answers; and feel COMFORT knowing that HE loves us ... NO MATTER WHAT. (I refer to this as ... He loves us, warts and all... : ) I talk to Jesus/Heavenly Father and do not feel I have to speak eloquently ... I just speak "Belinda speak" to God. Tell Heavenly Father what you are experiencing; HE knows, regardless and HE CARES. He loves you ... REGARDLESS. There is no pretense with Father ... no need to be anyone but YOURSELF. Find a mentor if you can. I feel this would assist you greatly ... the RIGHT mentor.
You ask if if the relationship with Father and Jesus is one or two. For me, it is one (yet two into one, if that makes sense.) For me ... it is three into one (Father/Jesus/Holy Spirit). It took me time to "get" this; have not had a mentor. I have been a very literal person, which I believe was a bit of a setback in my relationship with God. The God the Father, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit (Trinity) was challenging. I knew it analytically ...
but it took time for me to truly UNDERSTAND and FEEL/grasp this concept. You are new in your journey; perhaps you are a very literal individual as well. It is my prayer that you KNOW/FEEL the Trinity working in your life; and His mercy and everlasting love, NO MATTER WHAT. God loves you JUST AS YOU ARE, my sister. HE understands when we are new in the Lord that there may be many questions, thing we do not understand, etc. TALK TO HIM AND TELL HIM YOUR CONCERNS. This will come in time. And the Holy Spirit will help you discern. And this forum is wonderful, filled with such compassionate brothers and sisters. Please don't feel rushed ... it will happen as it should.
I have grown some, but can grow so much more. Previously thought I could "rush" the process/relationship, but this is a LIFETIME relationship of growth. I see the "elders" here and pray of the time that my growth will deepen every so much more... I cannot just sit back and have it happen, however ... ANYTHING that is of worth takes work. And I can't think of ANYTHING better than knowing our Father and growing in the Lord. What an incredible adventure! How fortunate, so very fortunate, we are - to have HIM love us and care for us until the day we pass. : ) I am humbled by HIS love and mercy.
Your phrase:
...ever since I became Christian, I focused mostly on God the Father and feel emotions for Him. And thought about Him mostly....
I am inquring of my brothers and sisters, and my inquiry may also speak to Caitlin's question:
When we speak with Heavenly Father, we are also speaking with Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit?
DO WE DELINEATE/DIFFERENTIATE? They are one and the same, therefore ... ?
I pray to Father, but IN THE NAME of Jesus (so I am "viewing" them, if you will, as 2 ... yet one. Is this correct? And when I speak to the Holy Spirit, knowing that HE is a PERSON, then again ... in my mind ... it is Him (the Holy Spirit) - yet 1 of the 3 in the Trinity.
To my brothers and sisters: If what I have indicated is incorrect in any way, would you please correct me...
I hope this helps. I see my brothers and sisters who are deep in the Lord, knowing that I'm just a "baby".
BUT WE ALL START AS BABIES, my sister. God Bless You, Caitlin. You are in my prayers.