Woweee what a wonderful topic! Surrender in a way can be scary, but once your trust in God is to the point that you can be down to the last drop of shampoo, and you don't panic....it's great and soooo refreshing. That's the point of peace and truly beginning to walk every moment by faith. As the Bible says the just shall live by faith.
My point of total surrender began about 7 1/2 years ago. My life was a mess. I was divorced, i had lost custody of my children, due to a bad lifestyle and my daughter (who lived with me, because her dad kicked her out) was hooked on meth, and the thought that gang life was fun or a good thing. Even though i knew Jesus, and had thought i had walked with Him, practically all my life, i chose to walk away because i could not get myself right. I felt like i was two or three different people sometimes.
But in the midst of my mess, God sent a very loving and kind friend to love me and not judge me. And he helped encourage me to stand up and be a whosoever. Right before sending an encourager, i began to sing Jesus take the wheel, cuz i truly knew that the things that i was going through with my daughter was more than i could handle. And i knew in my heart that there was this fear of God turning me over to a reprobate mind. To me it seemed that in the 5 years that i was away from Him, there were times when i knew He was just waiting for me to return, and that He was reminding me that He was still there. Even in those dark times when i just didn't want to be alive anymore.
As i began to seek the Lord again, digging my Bible out, and trying to get back to where i used to be, i tell you it was difficult at first. I had a real difficult time understanding the easy to read version of the Bible. This is when God sent the encourager to encourage me to keep trying and stay in the word. God is sooooo good! When i got past some of the roadblocks in my mind i felt a lot clearer, and excited to be back in communion with God.
It took me loosing my job, then my unemployment, and moving clear across the usa, for God to get me to a place of total surrender, and learning to lean and trust in Him. And as He has so graciously put a roof over my head, i am totally ready to move out of my friends apartment, and go forth in all that His future for me holds.
There has been a lot of ups and downs and a lot of my being cranky, because my flesh could not be in control. I think that has been the hardest things that i have had to learn, how to make my flesh, and i have to have it my way attitude, submit.
But Glory be to God!!! I am a new creature in Christ and to me it was all worth it. God has prepared me every step of the way! And taken awesome wonderful care of me!