We all go through this and I even go through this from time to time. In fact, even tonight, I'm reading the Bible and I put my Bible down and said to God, "I DONT WANT TO DO THIS!" And what did God say? "Pray." And so, I did. I prayed for a change of heart. I was also a bit irritated tonight, so I was already in a mood when I got into the presence of God. And honestly, God wants us to be REAL with him. He is completely real with us, because he's Truth, so why can't we be real with him? We can! He wants us to be authentic. Tonight, when I was in the mood, my heart wasn't in the mood to read the Bible. In fact, every word I read in the Bible, I was getting even MORE aggravated because I didn't want to read...I just wanted to vent, to get my feelings out. And then God said, "Put your bible down. Tell me what's going on." And I told him. I was frustrated with things and I was aggravated.
After I told God those feelings and how I felt, and as I picked up the Bible again, I was still a little bit irritated. But as I continued to read, it got better and at the end, my heart was feeling so much better.
God doesn't call you to be religious. He doesn't. That's not what he wants. He wants a relationship. I have felt several times that my relationship with God comes off as work and I don't want to get in His presence. But yet, I push. I grab my Bible and I start reading it. But then God says, "Stop being religious. You want a revival in your relationship with Me? Stop being religious. I want YOU, Katie. Stop trying to do things because you know it's the right thing to do. I want you to be an authentic Christian!" I was going through the ritual: Read the Bible, Worship God, journal. And it wasn't doing anything for me. Now, those things are NOT wrong! In fact, they are very important to grow in your relationship with God. But doing them out of ritual, out of religion, then that's not inviting God to come in and work in your life. I was doing those things to BE religious, not to be relational. I was doing it because it was the Christian duty to do it. I wasn't being real with God.
It's okay to be real with Him. So you're telling us it's a job....so tell God that! Tell him your frustrations! Tell Him about your weariness! That's what God wants! You feel sad? Then tell Him! You feel angry? Then tell Him! You feel happy?! TELL HIM!
That's what He wants.
One night, I actually bawled my eyes out to Him. But then I stopped myself and said, "Oh no, Katie. You HAVE to read the Bible. Stop crying. You need to read the Bible!" And God said, "Not yet. Katie, I want you to cry now." So I put my Bible down and started to cry again and all He said was, "Now, THIS is the Katie I want." Why did He say that? Because I was being REAL with him.
And that's what He wants from you! Pray for a recharge in your heart. Your battery is near empty and it's almost dead, pray that God recharges that heart. And be real with your Father. He wants to talk to you. He wants you to be authentic