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Need advice please....when parents are not in agreement on how to raise their children

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by Michali, Dec 19, 2010.

  1. I've tried to be patient and trust that the Lord will teach my husband how to lead his family. Please, understand that I'm not in ANY way trying to imply that I'm where I should be. I'm still growing spiritually, and pray I never stop growing while in this body. The difficulty I'm having now is that my oldest children are close to becoming teens. And I'm more scared than ever, with changes I've seen in their attitudes, that if these things are not taken care of very soon they may be ruined.

    My husband was a baby Christian when we married, and I naively believed that love was enough and I trusted that God would grow my husband to be the kind of husband and father who would instruct his family and lead them in the ways of God. God is faithful, I know!! Only, I'm afraid that maybe I have a duty now to stand up and take the charge over the children, if he will not; but I don't know how.

    Our communication is not so great. I've tried to explain my worries and occasionally we do set up plans, but they never have happened yet. His work schedule can, at times, make it difficult to keep plans; but I don't see much effort at all. He appears sincere, at the time, in his desire to do this; but something always seems to come up. He has also told me that he thinks I should just be able to do the devotions with the children on my own, because I have more Bible studies. The other problem with that is, if he is relaxing from work by watching tv, the children are wanting to watch it with him and it is very distracting for having family devotions. Also, our views on what is okay for them to watch and how much are not in agreement. I'm very afraid that some of the shows that they watch are affecting their attitudes and teaching them foolishness or ideas contradictory to the Word.

    Please....help me to know how I am to perform my responsibilities as a mother while remaining submissive to my husband. How do I do this on my own? Or what should I do to help my husband see how desperately important this is? Scripture references would also be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
     
  2. I owe the fact that I am a Christian to my mother (Actually the Holy Spirit, of course, but I'm speaking of His agent, as it were). It was she who taught me about Jesus and saw that I went to church, Sunday school, and Bible camp. My father's only role in the development of my faith appears to be that he did not actively contradict or interfere with my mother's efforts. I say this by way of encouragement that your efforts are not in vain. Continue to pray and persevere for your children's sake.

    Perhaps your husband could be pursuaded to simply be present at family devotions. If he feels that he doesn't have the energy or drive or Spiritual knowledge or whatever to lead the devotions, he could make a considerable difference just by being present and thus supporting your efforts rather than providing a distraction. This would take the pressure off of him to be the initiator or the "leader." The ideal, of course, is that he would take on the role and responsibility of Spiritual head and leader, but this at least would be a small step in the right direction, a place to start.
     
  3. In terms of them showing attitudes....

    Proverbs 22:6 - Train children to live the right way and when they are old, they will not stray from it.

    Michali, you have already set in stone the training that will stand them in good stead for the rest of their lives - entrust them to the Lord and He will assist you with your parenting.

    Read the Story of Deborah (Judges 4) .... she was a strong, wise woman with powerful leadership skills yet she was a wife and submissive in spirit to the Lord and to her husband. We may not be riding a horse into battle like Deborah but we are engaged in a spiritual battle nonetheless.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers
    Blessings
    Natty
     

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