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Need advice one more time

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by autumn oddity, Jul 31, 2016.

  1. I feel a little panicky....I just feel with my friend ( the one ive been posting about earlier)I had so much riding on him, I feel he was perfect to room with, ( were both in our 20's)but I know he likes to be alone and in my opinion I feel what good are friends if you cant spend time with them? Also he has another friend who he mwt before me and I fear he'll end up rooming with her and perhaps forgetting all about me.. I always wonder why the 3 of us rooming couldn't work but he likes to be alone.... Idk if just feel so pushed to the side...i listened to him during his most depressive rants, while this other friend told him to kill himself during a depressive rant...id just be really mad if he chooses her over me..bc its like..all I was was an emotional tampon to vent at... And I wasted time..when I could be making friends at school or wherever ...idk I feel very alone and a bit scared..i dont want to be alone but that's what it seems like its gonna be for me.. Friends whether in real life or online or just for a moment...never the long haul. And it makes me sad ill have to live alone :/

    That's my worst fear just being alone..but I think that's my issue feeling like I could trust them( my other friends I met online) when people naturally move on to do other things....

    Its just growing up I was never able to hold on to friends BC I move around so much..and still do to this day...so I was always new and always had no real friends.. And It would have been a dream come true to room with someone I trusted on such a deep level..but even that dream is shattered to pieces.

    I honestly think being alone is my cross to bear I just wish I got used to the crushing loneliness..

    -- idk I'm almost crying .. I hate this
     
  2. #2 Cturtle, Jul 31, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2016
    Take a deep breath...and refuse to fear. Get your mind focus on God, and His promises like in Jeremiah 29:11.

    For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
    Jeremiah 29:11 AMP
    http://bible.com/8/jer.29.11.AMP

    God loves you and maybe your rooming with this friend will not be the best uplifting match for you. Besides your panicking about something that has not even happen yet. It could possibly have worked out in your favor, but the devil is trying to steal your peace, and get you to speak words that will form your future.
     
  3. Time to change your beliefs. If when God was creating...and said it was not good for man to be alone, plus even Him creating the animals.....made more than one so that they would not be alone.

    It's not God's desire for anyone to walk this walk alone. Most of the reason why He has sent the Holy Spirit. Because He knows being alone is not good. The biggest thing though is that our faith and trust cannot be in people, it has to be in God to put the right people in our lives, and then as we walk in love expecting nothing in return, thus loving like God, we can have the greatest relationships because we are always holding no ought against the others. Because God is the only one who can love us perfectly.

    I think the hardest part is understanding how He loves us, and accepting it all.
     
    Major likes this.
  4. True, when I think about his depressive rants, its most likely true...but still for him to room with his other friend who has bdp....it just makes me feel like a mess.
     
  5. Is this a fact? That he's going to room with this other girl?
     
  6. It depends.. He said if he and his gf break up..hell room with her bc he met her before me and she asked first but I dont understand why the 3 of us can't room together... And when I say ," well maybe we can room together" he doesn't reply often..

    Idk I just feel extreme mad right now.... How and why would u choose to room with someone with bpd and who told u to kill yourself.. Is beyond me..

    I'm just frustrated now.. Its like no one really wants me..not even the people I thought did.
     
  7. I do understand your anger and frustratuon. It sounds like this girl has a similar personality to his gf and maybe the reason why he chose her?
     
  8. Given everything you have said about him....he does not know how to receive love, or encouragement. So it's not you that he is rejecting (I know that how your feeling), he is sticking with his unhealthy frame of mind. And that's not something that is your fault. It's the trap the devil has him in.
     
  9. Yah ..youre right...but it still sucks..but it is what it is..i need learn how to cope being alone and not depend on people. Uhg.

    But thanks for your word of wisdom.
     
  10. Not alone, but trusting in God to put the right people in your path...ones that build you up, and encourage you instead of dump their cap on you.

    Blessings
     
  11. He does encourage me..hes a great friend...he may room with me...just depends...i just cant let my happiness depend on people..and their decision.. I need to be a better friend.
     
  12. How can you be a be a better friend?
     
  13. My friend has his own life, he doesn't have to room with my...after talking with him he said, he might move to the same state I'm in..or room with but... Things are always subject to change...he may change his mind or maybe met someone else..or even room with his other friend...i let fear and anxiety make me assume the worst...and even I we dont roommate together ,I have to learn to let I go and not depend on people for happiness.
     
  14. #14 KingJ, Aug 6, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2016
    You are never alone. God is always there with you.

    If you don't want to be 'alone', make yourself attractive. The only woman that will die alone will be those that are selfish / always talking about themselves, don't bath often, can't be bothered to dress nicely or look after their figure. The same of course applies to men. Life of the flesh is not rocket science!

    No, I believe you did not waste your time with him. He was depressed and you were a Christian friend.
     
  15. I do dress nice and bathe..sometimes its not that easy
     
  16. That's good to know ;). The bathing is actually a joke in my office. We read a prayer that a Muslim lady says as her vows and one point made is that she promises to bath daily and if she can't, use perfume.

    We just need to remember that only God fearing people don't judge the outside that much. The ungodly are in the majority and they do. Now the outside is not always difficult to work on. I don't believe there is such a thing as an ugly person.
     
  17. What's so bad about being alone? Learn to have a relationship with yourself, body, mind and soul.

    You'll never feel alone.
     
  18. You probably never been alone the way I have... Its not a good feeling... Yes some time to yourself is wonderful but humans are social creatures and idk...im just very socially awkward.
     
  19. Yeah I have, completely alone. It's just an emotion you have to deal with, nothing more.
     
  20. Amen For,
    You can be lonely in a house full of people or in a huge crowd and yet you don't have to give in and feel lonely when you are by your self.

    Feeling lonely like so many other feelings and emotions are a state of mind. We simply have to make a quality choice to what state our minds are in.
    Blessings
    Cturtle
     
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.

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