Been a long time since I've posted anything here, but my heart goes out to your wife. I suffer from depression and severe anxiety. For the longest time I couldn't see what was making me become more and more erratic. More desperate. Unable to sleep. Relationships going to pot. Several people, including doctors, tried to tell me I had depression. I literally laughed them off. I was prescribed antidepressant after antidepressant trying to find one that didn't make me sick. No luck. I refer to them as voodoo pills anymore. When depressed I just try and ride it out......gotta end sometime I tell myself. Anxiety, on the other hand, can be "pilled" with Xanax.
Anyway the real reason I'm posting is that I was looking to find my source of depression/anxiety and it all pointed to absolute betrayel through childhood sexual assault. I had so completely buried my trauma that I literally thought I was going to die when I finally came out of denial. It was an overwhelming and soul wrenching experience. All the dpression/anxiety is still there. At least I now know the cause. Many, many people were molested and simply cannot confess/ reveal/deal with it. Unfortunately. At some point You may have to ask your wife about anything in her childhood she may not be dealing with. Many , many victims protect their perpetrator beause they love them.
I'm not saying this is your wife's problem or secret.....but it very well could be. It may take years from even now for her to say anything. Going to take much, much patience and love with abundant undertanding if this indeed hppened to her. My prayers go out to you. Takes courage beyond earthly ability to approach a loved one about this.