I Require assistance. Hi all. I have a problem in my life, well 2, they are kind of connected. And i require some help and your views. I am very shy, have alot of fears, worry have no confidence, let me explain. Right from the start of my school age i was bullied, as the years went on, i got bullied more and more as i went through growing up through the schools. I was never strong enough to do anything about it, and i dont mean physically, i mean on the inside. And so just had to put up with it. As it started at such a young age, i never could build up confidence. I knew whatever i said, i would get beaten or shouted it by the bullies. As i got older, it became more of physical bully, but still verbally. Bullying for me became part of my life, or the way of life for me, i was never strong enough to stop it. Try to picture this, its how i feel. Imagine a ladder of confidence, obviously the higher you are up the ladder, the more confident you are, i feel like i have been pushed off the ladder, and i just cannot climb back on and up. As a result of this, i am probably the quietest, most unconfident but nicest person you could know. When i do talk, ii tallk very quietly, and most the time i have to repeat it to whom im talking to. Sometimes, when i have to say it again and again pressure really starts to build in me, then i start getting things mixed up, eg saying the wrong words, struggle saying words, not able to say what i want to say and in the end i just give up. When i talk to someone over the internet, weather it be a freind or someone i dont know, i can have a long conversation with them and a great laugh. If you put me with that person, you will be very lucky to get anything out of me. Loads of people have tried to get me to talk, but they give up because i just can't do it. The reason this has all been stirred up in my life is because recently me and my girlfreind split up, mainly because of this problem of mine. I couldn't talk to her in person much at all. I could talk and have a laugh with her over MSN or texting, get me with her and theres no chance of it. And because of this it upset her alot. Which leads me on to the 2nd problem. I recently broke up with my girlfreind due to the above. ^^ We are both Christians and serve in our church. But, i still love her. And as the song goes, "I don't know why i Love you, But i do". I Love her, and i don't know why. Before we got together, i Loved her, it wasnt a silly crush you get when your young, or it wasnt lust, It really was Love. Before we got together, we were waiting on eachother, and God. We both prayed alot about this beforehand. And then we got together, and everything just felf right, I knew she was the one for me. The day before we got togehter, or I even knew something like this was going to happen, I took her out to an Indian restuarant, And i have no idea why that happened, because that isnt me and its not what i do. And the day after i said some nice things to her on text when she was at work, and again, that wasnt me, its just not what i do. And then we decided to get together. And we knew that the relationship was "To be" it was the big one (If you get me). And even now for the time being we are over i still think that. And i dont know if this is sinful or wrong, but we spoke about getting married alot, we wanted it, of course in time, but its what we wanted. But i strongly believe that God got us together. But due to my problem, it wasnt working properly. She has a personal issue too that she needs to take care of, and maybe I have another chance, but i dont know. Even after a week of us splitting up, Im still in Love with her and i don't know why and i still want her, i believe she is the one that God has givin to me. Im sorry for my lengthy post, i Hope that you can understand what im saying. I look forward to your replies God Bless.