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I Am Confused About A Recent Situation - Still Shaking...

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by StillLearning, Nov 29, 2013.

  1. #1 StillLearning, Nov 29, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2013
    Hello everyone. I am new here, but something happened this morning that prompted me to join this site (which I plan on visiting often!) and I just can't stop thinking about it.

    Well, I was out taking part in the early Black Friday (day after Thanksgiving) sales that were going on all night long at the mall. I am currently staying with a family friend and I am not THAT familiar with this area. It's kind of a secluded little neighborhood and I arrived back to the neighborhood at 4:00 in the morning by myself. Everything was pitch black, and as I turned into the driveway of the neighborhood, there was a strange woman walking slowly away from the gates, in the pitch black. My instinct was that something was really sketchy about it. I mean, this is a secluded area, and this was 4:00am. I checked my doorlocks and made sure my car was locked, as i awaited the gates to open (painstakingly slowly). I grew more nervous due to how slow these gates were opening for me, that when I looked to my passenger side door, there was the woman right next to my car looking at me. It startled me, and i just slammed on the gas, nearly hitting the opening gate. as I said, this was pitch black, 4am, and I am not familiar with this area. I drove to my family friend's house and my heart was racing and I was still scared. I ran inside and locked the doors and hid. I seriously thought she was going to try to open my doors and kill me or rob me....

    Of course, after my crazed fear dissipated, I felt enormous guilt. What if she was in trouble? what if she needed my help? Was I rude to have done that? Am I a bad Christian for doing that? Am I a terribly self-indulgent person that I go and shop all night long til 4am, and I cannot even find out what this lady wants? Am I self-involved? what would other Christians do? Would their first instinct be to speed off like that? I doubt it! I feel horrible. But at the same time i feel, what if I saved my life? So i feel a mixture of things. Guilt, shame, fear and relief....
    See, my thought process is that given the secludedness of this neighborhood, it is frankly extremely strange for some lady to be wandering around by herself at 4am. and something about her just made me feel really strange. (and no its not a race issue.. we're both the same race). My instinct about this woman was that something was off... In a word: i was SCARED! she was walking away from the gates when I pulled up and if she was in trouble, all the houses were just a few yards on the other side of the gate. She had free access to all these houses and she could ring any number of doorbells. Why walk around outside the gate in the dark? it doesn't make any sense. If she had come from hers or somebody's house, why not just go back to the house? Ok so am I a terrible person for trying to justify it?
    I just don't know what to think any more. As I said I feel really bad / guilty like I did something wrong, and wonder if this lady is like dead somewhere, but the fact that this happened in the dark at 4am, when she could have easily accessed those houses just on the otherside of the gate makes me feel like I was justified in being absolutely terrified.

    Do you have any advice? thoughts? Bible passages for this kind of thing? Understand how I am feeling? :-(
  2. I always find it interesting how all of us fill in voids of information with our own assumptions, either good or bad. You were faced with a highly unusual situation where you had very little information to go on. So you do what everyone does...you fill those gaps with your own assumptions. This person might try and rob or kill me. Why? Because we've all heard stories of such things happening in relatively similar settings. Of course there are also stories of people like that needing help and getting shot when knocking on someone's door too. But what do we never, ever hear? Stories of someone needing help, getting it, and going about their ways. Nope, those aren't "newsworthy".

    So in that context, you experienced a "fight or flight" response and you picked the "flight" option. And to be honest with you, I probably would have done the same thing. I would think if that person needed help, they would have been waving their arms and trying to get your attention, rather than just creepily looking in your car window. My Dad probably would have rolled his window down and asked if the person needed help or something.

    Did you hear anything else from that night? Did anyone else see the person? Were there any incidents?
  3. Hi River,
    Thanks for the response. I did end up calling the police on the non-emergency line (after posting online about it and talking to a friend, so it turned out it was too late...). The police did not think it was a big deal and said it was probably just somebody drunk after a Thanksgiving party. They said they'd send a car by, but by that point she probably wasn't there.

    I did ask several people what they would have done, and every one of them said that they would have done the same thing, and that made me feel less guilty. The thing is, after sleeping it off, I strongly feel that if this really was an emergency, she could have rang on the doorbells of any number of houses. Instead she was approaching cars at 4am on the darkened side of the gate. As she did so, she did not look in distress whatsoever. She just looked dazed and out of it. Not out of it to the point where she looked like she needed help, but she didn't seem distressed. It just did not seem right to me, and as a woman alone in my car at that hour, I just did not feel comfortable. I have to be honest because if she had made any request, i don't think i'd even feel comfortable granting it (i.e. money, phone, giving her a ride) No way - not that I am mean, I just would not feel comfortable. I would have told her to go inside the gated community and ring some doorbells. I felt that i was in a vulnerable position when she approached me because I could not move until that gate went up, and it was so dark and secluded.

    anyways, I guess it made me feel better to get it off my chest! I really appreciate your answer! Who knows what really was going on, but if she really needed help, I am pretty confident she got it eventually, given the many many houses nearby. Anybody truly in distress would have eventually understood that doing what she did would startle a person and freak them out. So if I was wrong about her intentions, I don't feel that guilty any more.
  4. Often we don't listen to our inner instinct and by doing so regret later... i think your inner voice told you that the situation was not right, something was wrong about the whole setting, who she was and why from the gate she was suddenly by your car side window... i used to not listen to my inner voice but now i do and most of the time that inner voice is right. By you giving them information as to what she looked like and no one knew her in the neighborhood makes me think she is something else... being myself born in Italy we do believe in apparitions whether angelic, of relatives, good or bad... it could have been such but you did the right thing. Do not fear, God is with you... <><
  5. Whats done is done-learn from the experience...
  6. welcome StillLearning ..
    I'm new here too ..
    the woman was most likely drunk .. and had no idea why she was at your car door ..
    but I do .. it was to make you join ..

    ready to learn ???
    guilt is of the devil and not of God ..
    God will move you to remorse/shame, but there is a big difference ..
    fear is a lack of trust ..
    and relief is a form of security ..

    so your at 50/50 .. and you know exactly what I mean .. right ???

    here is your scripture verse .. claim it .. it belongs to you .. Rom 8:31
    He is your protector, your strength and comforter .. if you let Him be ..

    may God bless you and teach you in all His ways ..
  7. Jesus says "
    Matthew 10:16
    Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves."

    There can be dangerous situations and it is not unchristian to heed to your inclinations in those circumstances. In your situation, assuming you are a woman, it usually is best to keep driving. The only thing I would add would have been to call the police and let them know about the strange event. If she needed help she will be thankful that you called. With that said, the other thing you could do is pray for her, there is power in prayer.

  8. I am just coming on this site and I want to say something about this... I don't know if this is from the Bible but it sure will help... My Dad told me this when I was really young. It's the story about a man and his wife and their donkey...
    They travel and work with the donkey, well one day, while they were on their way to farm, the man told his wife to sit on the donkey with the farm tools so he will walk alongside, but not far from home, h met with a friend who called him aside and told him how foolish he looks walking while the donkey was available. This made him sit with his wife on the donkey with the tools too... now some miles ahead and they met a group of girls... they were shocked to see so much load on the donkey and they called him a wicked man for loading the donkey so much... So now he decides to make his wife walk with the tools while he rides the donkey... he didn't reach far before he was ridiculed again. Then his final resolution was to get off the donkey and allow it to walk while he and his wife walk alongside with the tools. This final move earned him nothing but more foolish names because people suggested the donkey is for carrying loads... too much long talk... In the end I guess what matters is what you think so if you think you have to escape from something that looks as terrifying as that, I don't see the sin or where the guilt must come from... It sure might have been a false alarm but you never know. Maybe she really was coming for you. You are the one to decide whether you are right or wrong. Taking the right side is better.
  9. JoeKash - your story is a paraphrasing of one of Aesop's fables.
  10. If the devil has a place in your life to get you, then what wall is high enough to protect you?
    Job said, those things which I greatly feared have come unto me. The fear of man brings a snare.

    seeing something does not make something more valid to fear, for the boy jumped in the river not thinking of the parasite that eventually killed him. If I don't fear what I can't see, then why fear what I can see, for it's written that we walk by faith and not by sight.

    If the Devil has the right to get you, then what can keep you safe?
    As it is written, give not place to the devil, because we don't wrestle against Flesh and blood, but powers we can not see.

    The boy had no idea of the Amoeba parasite that he could not see, and so no thought or fear of jumping in the river. Had he the Wisdom of God, and the devil had no place, he would be alive today.

    So what is it then? I am not moved by what I see, what I hear, but what I believe, and I believe that 1,000 on my right and 10,000 on my left but it shall not come near me, for God shall led me away from temptations and deliver me from evil. I certainly will not give the devil a pop shot at me for giving him a place through fear.

  11. tell me about it I don't think I am familiar with that story and it may as well help all of us to understand more about LIFE.
  12. I don't see how a woman in any state can be a threat. You are on the edge if a woman scares you ;).
  13. I was truck driving and had to go into a bad part in Cincinnati to drop a trailer and pick up a loaded one then I was on my way home for the weekend. It was about 9pm and they told me to only go there in the day. That meant waiting all night and getting home later than I wanted as home was just 4 hours from Cincinnati.

    Well, some odd reason I had this tremendous fear coming over me about going in the project area to get that trailer at night and I thought best to wait it out until morning. I had in my mind about 5 different things in my mind that could happen to me because all the gangs and drug dealers know, we truckers have money.

    Well, I wanted to get home, so I headed for Cincinnati.

    The fear got worse and worse. I thought it best to call home and talk to them one last time just in case. Fear does that, it's irrational, but it did not seem so at the time.

    My next thought was that God could be warning me not to go. No, I know better than that, because God does not use fear.

    Finally I decided that it was the devil trying to keep me from going. The devil is the only one that uses fear, or the devil was trying to get me to side with him on getting me killed or hurt through all those constant images of what might happen to me.

    Fear has torment, and fear is persistent.

    Keep this in mind, Fear is actually faith in the devils ability to harm you in the future. Fear is actually faith for bad to come at a later date. It's the opposite of Faith in the Word of God and it's contrary to God.

    Now I knew I was going, no devil is going to dictate to me where I go.

    I pulled in, unhooked and grabbed my loaded trailer that was waiting on me. Just as I was about to leave here comes a person in a coat with a hood, walking from the projects toward me.

    I wait, the walk up and stop. It was a girl. She asked if she could perform services (Cough... cough) for some money. I told her nope, but I will give you all the money I have. I don't think Jesus would like it much if I took up the offer on any of those services.

    So I handed her a 10.00 and she seemed to get uncomfortable and started to leave. I told her to wait, I have to keep my word and I know I have more change laying around in the truck. Hold up.

    I found 5 gold dollars, and a bunch of change. Just when I was about to hand her these, the Lord spoke to me, (not a voice, inside) He said, "Ask her where her Grandma is at."

    She looked at me real funny, and said I have not seen her in a couple years. I then just listened to the Lord and spoke what He spoke to me.

    I said you have not visited her because your ashamed, because you use to always go to church with her. Now your trapped and don't know how to get out.

    Big tears welled up and she asked how I knew this............ I told her I did not but the Lord Jesus who you loved knows and he is speaking to me right now. She told me she did not know what to do, but I said that is not a issue, because I am about to tell you. I said spend all the money but the gold coins, take those and give them to your grandma and tell her what I said. You keep one to remember the Lord and how he met you here tonight. She said I will, I'll keep it forever.

    I held her hand and prayed over her, I told the devil nice try but you have to let this one go in the name of Jesus. her whole Constance changed, she was smiling and we hugged and I sent her on her way.

    All the way home to Champaign IL I rubbed it in the devils face. Trying to use fear to keep me out of there. Not with Jesus, because with Jesus, we always have the victory!!
    RosaVera, dUmPsTeR and KingJ says Amen and like this.
  14. Thanks for sharing Mike!
  15. The Man, the Boy, and the Donkey (a fable of Aesop)
    A Man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market.
    As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them
    and said: "You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?"
    So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their
    way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: "See
    that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides."
    So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself.
    But they hadn't gone far when they passed two women, one of whom
    said to the other: "Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little
    son trudge along."
    Well, the Man didn't know what to do, but at last he took his
    Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to
    the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The
    Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said:
    "Aren't you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey
    with you and your hulking son?"
    The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They
    thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied
    the donkey's feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to
    their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met
    them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one
    of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end
    of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and
    his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.
    "That will teach you," said an old man who had followed them:
    "Please all, and you will please none."
  16. I miss your point .. still learning was asking for advice .. she got different advice, however all is after the fact, and as such too late for any to be heeded .. and if a similar situation presents itself, she could only choose one option of the different ones presented to her ..
  17. JoeKash asked me to post the Aesop fable that his father had paraphrased.
    JoeKash likes this.

  18. Bless you Michael for your gift and for ''rubbing it in the devil's face''... fear, doubt, all tools of evil to keep us from God...
  19. Thank you Rosa, I almost chickened out because the waves and thoughts of fear were strong. This scripture always helps me. I don't know how much of a gift that is. I did what every believer can do and that is to compare scripture with how your feeling and thinking. Then pick the scripture and act on that, not the feelings. We can still be in faith with goose bumps on goosebumps because we have a choice to speak and act on the word despite how we feel.

    But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

    So, anything I am feeling, or thinking that does not line up with scripture and I don't have peace, then I know it's not God trying to tell me something. If it's not God, then why take heed to it or pay attention to it?

    So if fear comes in, I know it's the devil for He is the spirit of fear, but we don't have the spirit of fear but of peace, power, love, sound mind.

    God is faithful, if you listen!
    If you don't have peace about going someplace (Not fear, just that knowing or resistance inside) then don't go. Seek God, this is how God keeps us safe. Follow the peace in your heart, the small lefts and rights. If you had nothing before leaving then whatever situation you find yourself when you get there won't be an issue because the Lord would have warned you ahead of time not to go in the first place.
    RosaVera likes this.
  20. thank you brother

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