Fun G Rated Christian Friendly Jokes

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Mike Flanaganmenstein, Jun 27, 2014.

  1. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

    A. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

    Q. Where was Solomon's temple located?

    A. On the side of his head.

    Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

    A. It's Christmas, Eve!

    Q. How conservative is Rush Limbaugh?

    A. He is so conservative that he think life begins at erection
    tmoderncatholic and Holycaves say Amen and like this.
  2. That last one was PG 13.
  3. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
    tmoderncatholic, Peter Luke, Holycaves and 2 others say Amen and like this.
  4. Not christian based jokes but...

    Where is Hadrians Wall?
    Around Hadrians House

    What is Nitrate?
    Time and a Half

    Where's the Andes?
    On the end of the Armes
    Peter Luke and KingJ say Amen and like this.
  5. True but funny...

    Whoever coined the phrase Kids say the funniest things was absolutely spot on.

    I was talking to a child before the recent world cup I asked him who he thought would win, he replied Mexico, well I was not expecting that answer so I asked him why he thought Mexico would win, he replied "it is obvious, they have Jesus playing for them"

    The player he was referring to is...José de Jesús Corona

    Kid must have been about 6 at best
    Fish Catcher Jim and tmoderncatholic say Amen and like this.
  6. The last one is the sort of thing that lead some to think the OP poster is a troll. He calls for G-rated jokes then posts a sex joke (which also mocks a conservative icon).
  7. Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together they discussed gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

    The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."

    The third smiled and said, "Ha, I got you both beat. Remember how mother loved to read her Bible? And you know that she can't see very well. Well, I sent her an amazing parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Church elders 14 years to teach him. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

    Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:

    "Adam," she wrote one son, "The house you built is so big. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

    "Jon," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel and stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

    "Dearest Gerald," she wrote to her third son, "You are the only one with the good sense to know what your mother likes. Thank you for the chicken. It was absolutely delicious."
    tmoderncatholic likes this.
  8. Who was the shortest man in the Bible?

    Bildad the Shuhite
  9. lol
  10. Greetings:
    The shortest man in the bible was Paul's jailer:he slept on his watch.That's what Knee Hi Miah told me.
    JG27_chili likes this.
  11. You stole my thunder:)
    where do baby apes sleep?
    Juk likes this.

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