Im guessing this is where I should post this. I have no where else to turn to at the moment. What do I do if a family member is stirring up problems? in this case it is my mother in law (mil). we started out real close but the happier my husband and I are and the closer we try to get to God, things happen. She has been a saved Christian for about 7 years I think but hasn't changed her ways. I love her to death and want the best for her, but she has turned very critical towards me and it hurts, she has also been disrespecting my husband. i'll give some background, she and my father in law divorced when my husband was between 10-13 (I think) and she has bounced around from guy to guy since then (she did this before marriage too). my husband and brother in law, love their mother dearly, but growing up there where times they would cry and beg her to stay home and spend time with them and she would choose her friends, new guy, or the bars over them. she would be out of there lives off and on from then, living in another state. fast forward to 2011, my husband and I are newly weds and in our first apartment. She says to my husband (I quote) "I want you to meet this beautiful girl close to your age from my church who loves the same things you do, I think you guys would be so close". she has done this to us a total of 3 times, she even told me that she read a Christian book that said its ok for husbands to look at and visually enjoy beautiful women because God made them to be that way...I believe that is Lusting, am I right? Sorry if I seem like I am complaining, im still working on how to process all of what has been going on. my husband and I had a problem last year with lack of intimacy due to his chronic pain (which I understand). I confided in my mil and she told me I was being selfish and I needed to work on being a woman of God. my husband did confront her after I told him and he even told her he was in the wrong and was neglecting my needs. she has came into our home and complains if its a little dirty, tells my children what to do (I have 2 from previous marriage, we have 1 together) and tells my husband what to do and talks down to him. my husband is still growing in Christ, so he is working on his anger issues, but they only get bad when others disrespect him in his home. my husband responded with an angry tone but never even got out of his chair, mil got upset and left. I later told her that he got angry because she disrespected him and was talking to him like he was still a child who couldn't live life without supervision. she told me the Bible says that he has to honor her and love her the way he honors and loves Christ and that it does not say that she ever has to respect her children. this hurts the both of us, she is the one who told me men want respect like women want love (something I never knew), yet she shows no respect to any men in her life and expects to be loved and pampered by all of them. this isn't even the worst of it. I pray and pray but I think she needs to pray for herself as well. my bil does live with his girlfriend (which mil complains about all the time) but they are adults and it is their life, they know what the Bible says. I call his girlfriend my sister in law, because we are very close. anyways mil says sil is her best friend, she even talks bad about me to her. then she talks bad about sil to me. she hates when we spend alone time together and cries to the guys saying we leave her out, but when she hangs out with either of us she doesn't want to include the other. she treats us differently so much. with me she preaches and everything is holy, with sil she cusses like a sailor and talks about s*x and guys. she doesn't know that we tell each other everything like sisters do, she tells us to keep things from our men as well. and has tried to pit us against each other. my mil kicked out her live in boyfriend and said she was doing it because God told her to and that he doesn't bless those kinds of relationships, she also told sil to move out and just date my bil. this was only a few months ago. she is now dating and sleeping with a man out of state saying "do not worry, God is all over this" she told my husband and I that he is just a friend, but my sil showed me and bil all the text mil sent her stating otherwise. she also moved her brother who she hasn't seen since they were little in with her, he does have a prison record, and he still does hardcore drugs, after both of them told us he didn't. my hubby and I share a cell phone for financial reasons, sent my hubby a text stating that he was coming off of meth, (I cant say the street word). it was part of another text so we are sure it wasn't meant for us. my mil defended it saying he meant fishing and that we need to pray for him because he was being honest ( that sentence contradicted itself) my husband told her that our baby was no longer allowed in her house unless she moved out of that house (meth stays in things and its a rental) and that baby was not allowed around the uncle, who my husband has only seen once in his life besides now. she got angry and yelled at him in our home with our 3 kids present, told him to send our kids to their room, when I had just served them dinner. he told her that this was his home, his family, his wife, his kids, therefore regarding us it was his law (as in he makes the rules of the family and home) and she got offended and starting cussing and yelling and crying so he had to yell to be heard over her. she left and went to bil house and started talking bad about us, saying my husband is lying about the pain that he is in and that I was hiding from her ( I was getting the kids dinner plated and getting them seated) and other stuff about us being very unchristian. my husband is working very hard on forgiving her for putting him and his brother last in the past and for choosing other men over them. but now he is having even more trouble, a day before she went to be with this man she met on the net he asked her if she would go pick up a pack of diapers in the morning for the baby because it was late and we was running low, she said ofcourse. she never did and told him that I said 4 diapers would be enough til he got home from work. she called my sil at work and told her to do it, but she had no money and couldn't leave work anyways. my sil told me that my mil had been on the way to he new beau's state is why she didn't do it. she chose leaving out early to spend a week and a half with this man over doing a favor for her only grandchild. she is also considering moving to live with this man after she told me she would be a sitter for my baby so that I could go to college this fall. she called to ask what my schedule would be and I told her m-thurs, morning classes for a full semester (16 weeks) and she got upset saying it was only supposed to be 4 weeks and she needed to know what she is getting herself into. my husband is so hurt that again she is choosing a man over her family. he tells us "do as I say, not as I do, I am the mommy" all the time when giving us Godly advice. she said she wants to teach my girls self worth, self respect, waiting til marriage for s*x and to find happiness in God, not men. she said she will be the one who teaches this to our youngest daughter. she can't even do any of that for herself. please pray for her. she is always telling me and sil that we have demonic attachment and she tells us that things in our home have demonic attachment that she is anointed by God to rid us and our homes of it. I know I am saved and loved and protected by God and so is my home, but when she leaves my home after saying these things, it doesn't feel right. there is so much more I could say but I believe what I wrote is too long. I can go into more if needed tho. please give me advice in how I should handle all of this. I am at a loss. I pray for her and I love her dearly. it scares me the rift she wants to cause between all of us when she doesn't get her way.