Dealing with narcissists

This is a very interesting topic on which I am probably WAY too opinionated.

I absolutely do not engage with narcissistic people. I can't do it... I don't support it... and so I simply
refuse to have these types in my life because of the damage they do to EVERYONE around them.
Perhaps it is the fact that these people generally do NOT ever repent of their ways.

This might not be a good answer... but it is an honest one.
 
Narcissists are generally the people I tick off the most, because when they realize they aren't going to beat me at their game, and that they are out-classed, they get angry and leave. Strangely, the same is true for those on the other end of the psychological spectrum...

However, given this subject, let's look at the Master Narcissist...Satan, and how Christ dealt with him!

Rather than to try and outwit Satan, Jesus simply quoted scripture in response to his attempts at one-upmanship. THAT is how I deal with them, and like their father Satan, they run!

James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

This is exactly what Christ did with Satan, and is the model for us today.

MM
 
I think this is a topic that is most prevalent in this society at this time. The world is filled with those who think too well of themselves. People who will step on and over others to get what they desire. The fall-out from this is brutal. So... this is a real problem.

Perhaps we need to split this topic in two categories... How to deal with Christians who are narcissistic and non Christians who are narcissistic.
I have encountered people in both of those categories.

I really lack a proper answer here. I tend to absolutely ignore and shun ( for lack of a better word ). I will not give them a platform.
I guess I have decided that this is a worse sin... or maybe I just have not learned to show mercy... tolerance and grace.

This is one topic I have NIL tolerance for.

With the above said... this is not an area I even have to deal with so... my thoughts are not necessarily correct.
 
Choose Life said:
• Separate yourself from the person.

• Take time to heal.

• Take responsibility for your part.

• React with empathy and respect.

• Remain calm and unaffected.

• Disengage from their conversations.

• enforce clear boundaries.

• Keep your intentions and goals to yourself.
Click to expand...
Musicmaster said:
Narcissists are generally the people I tick off the most, because when they realize they aren't going to beat me at their game, and that they are out-classed, they get angry and leave. Strangely, the same is true for those on the other end of the psychological spectrum...However, given this subject, let's look at the Master Narcissist...Satan, and how Christ dealt with him! Rather than to try and outwit Satan, Jesus simply quoted scripture in response to his attempts at one-upmanship. THAT is how I deal with them, and like their father Satan, they run! James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. This is exactly what Christ did with Satan, and is the model for us today.
MM
Click to expand...

Good morning, Choose Life;

I hear you and agree wholeheartedly with you. Your points actually addresses everyone who follows Christ and doesn't do a daily self check.

When my wife and I met with Musicmaster and his wife he ticked me off because I couldn't beat him at my own game. lol! Just kidding, MM, we had a fun and wonderful time with you folks. I don't know if you remembered but while we were having breakfast the waiter needed prayer regarding "this topic." I'll leave it at that.

James 4:7 is a good teaching reminder. I also recall how Jesus rebuked Satan in Matthew 4:1-11. The devil was attempting to take away what all belongs to God's glory and creation.

God bless you, Choose Life, and thank you for sharing.

Bob
 
In Awe of Him said:
I think this is a topic that is most prevalent in this society at this time. The world is filled with those who think too well of themselves. People who will step on and over others to get what they desire. The fall-out from this is brutal. So... this is a real problem.

Perhaps we need to split this topic in two categories... How to deal with Christians who are narcissistic and non Christians who are narcissistic.
I have encountered people in both of those categories.

I really lack a proper answer here. I tend to absolutely ignore and shun ( for lack of a better word ). I will not give them a platform.
I guess I have decided that this is a worse sin... or maybe I just have not learned to show mercy... tolerance and grace.

This is one topic I have NIL tolerance for.

With the above said... this is not an area I even have to deal with so... my thoughts are not necessarily correct.
Click to expand...

Good morning, In Awe of Him;

Whether a believer or non believer, we should shun narcissism but as I walk away, I'm praying for their disposition and still love them. It's possible they may not be aware of themselves and if they are, woe to them because God is always watching.

God loves a humble and contrite heart. This is why it's vital to do a self check each morning.

Psalm 51:17, My sacrifice is a humble spirit, O God; you will not reject a humble and repentant heart. - GNT

This may sound sugar coating but it's really tough. It takes a closer relationship with the Almighty to rebuke narcissism.

God bless you, sister.

Bob

 
bobinfaith said:
This may sound sugar coating but it's really tough. It takes a closer relationship with the Almighty to rebuke narcissism.
Click to expand...
I don't understand what you mean by this.... I know for myself... I have been this way since I can remember. I have NEVER been able to handle or tolerate the entitled or arrogant person. Something in me just SIEZES up with repulsion towards this type of behaviour. These are the scenarios that have gotten me in most trouble with my mouth. I have learned to simply walk away.... sometimes I still get taken off guard and I respond to arrogance... but to be honest... I am pretty good at avoiding these situations.

The reality however is that people who WORK with the public are targets to receive all kinds of abuse. I am blessed that I can choose to live a rather solitary life. I don't fight with myself. HA

Rebuking narcissism??
 
In Awe of Him said:
I don't understand what you mean by this.... I know for myself... I have been this way since I can remember. I have NEVER been able to handle or tolerate the entitled or arrogant person. Something in me just SIEZES up with repulsion towards this type of behaviour. These are the scenarios that have gotten me in most trouble with my mouth. I have learned to simply walk away.... sometimes I still get taken off guard and I respond to arrogance... but to be honest... I am pretty good at avoiding these situations.

The reality however is that people who WORK with the public are targets to receive all kinds of abuse. I am blessed that I can choose to live a rather solitary life. I don't fight with myself. HA

Rebuking narcissism??
Click to expand...
I am sure that you know a Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them.

The problem in dealing with them is that they believe they are normal and you are the one with a problem. Now that I think about it, that is pretty much the M.O. of all people with mental challenges.
 
In Awe of Him said:
I have suffered with severe chronic depression for decades... and I NEVER felt normal... I knew I had many problems. I don't think you meant to say this.
Click to expand...
Of course not! That thought never crossed my mind. It was a comment of generality!

I suffer from clinical depression for years and take meds for it.

My grandson deals with ADD.
My mother was a manic depressor.
My grandfather had electric shock back in the 60's.

I am very well aware of depression and what it can do but I also know that it must be talked about in order to be helped. YOU are doing that right now and I applaud you for it!
 
crossnote said:
Isn't there a bit of narcissism in each of us, just as there is a bit of phariseeism as well?
Click to expand...
And I think this is where Bob's point of making daily self-checks... I really find that doing a daily inventory to be a valuable and wise thing.
You are correct... we all have the tendencies of both those things.

This is a pet peeve topic for me... so I have to be very careful with my words. HA.
 
Major said:
I am very well aware of depression and what it can do but I also know that it must be talked about in order to be helped. YOU are doing that right now and I applaud you for it!
Click to expand...
So nice to be talking to you Major.... I enjoy the things you have to say. I am one of the BLESSED because I received a supernatural healing almost three years ago.... Depression GONE... nothing I did... nothing I deserved but now filled with OVERFLOWING JOY.

I think I simply have a bad attitude towards the topic of narcissism... I do not believe it is a mental illness like Schizophrenia... depression and the others that are listed. I believe it to be a societal disorder. I am not stating I am correct... but I am sure this is where my severe lack of compassion comes from. SO.... my bad. HA.
 
In Awe of Him said:
I don't understand what you mean by this.... I know for myself... I have been this way since I can remember. I have NEVER been able to handle or tolerate the entitled or arrogant person. Something in me just SIEZES up with repulsion towards this type of behaviour. These are the scenarios that have gotten me in most trouble with my mouth. I have learned to simply walk away.... sometimes I still get taken off guard and I respond to arrogance... but to be honest... I am pretty good at avoiding these situations. The reality however is that people who WORK with the public are targets to receive all kinds of abuse. I am blessed that I can choose to live a rather solitary life. I don't fight with myself. HA Rebuking narcissism??
Click to expand...

Major said:
I am sure that you know a Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them.

The problem in dealing with them is that they believe they are normal and you are the one with a problem. Now that I think about it, that is pretty much the M.O. of all people with mental challenges.
Click to expand...

Hello In Awe of Him;

Let me put it another way. In most situations I have rebuked (called people out) who display their narcissism (behavior) in a group setting or one on one.

You expressed you will simply avoid them as I have also done when the person loses control and has to assert their high importance in their tone and manner.

There are times when the mental well being as Major pointed out can be a chronic disorder. He was saying this in general and not indirectly toward anyone.

I'm not a clinical specialist and this is where Jesus set the example and was the Master at being silent. This is why it's important that we pray for their disposition and still love them. It's possible they may not be aware of themselves.

Does this help with what I was sharing, In Awe of Him?

Bob
 
crossnote said:
Isn't there a bit of narcissism in each of us, just as there is a bit of phariseeism as well?
Click to expand...
I kind of agree. We all fall somewhere on that continuum. That means that some level of self-focus exists in all of us, and it may change across the lifespan.

The problem comes where Narcissists have an inflated view of self and believe that they are superior to others. This leads to arrogance and a lack of empathy an a position of "elitism". That is where the problem is. IMHO ich no one should accept as authority!!!!
 
bobinfaith said:
Hello In Awe of Him;

Let me put it another way. In most situations I have rebuked (called people out) who display their narcissism (behavior) in a group setting or one on one.

You expressed you will simply avoid them as I have also done when the person loses control and has to assert their high importance in their tone and manner.


There are times when the mental well being as Major pointed out can be a chronic disorder. He was saying this in general and not indirectly toward anyone.

I'm not a clinical specialist and this is where Jesus set the example and was the Master at being silent. This is why it's important that we pray for their disposition and still love them. It's possible they may not be aware of themselves.

Does this help what I was sharing, In Awe of Him?

Bob
Click to expand...
YES.... I now understand what you were saying. I think what I do with these people is more along the lines of dismissal and shunning... as in I simply walk away and don't allow them to play with me. I think I may also be getting terms mixed up because narcissism is a specific condition... and I am including simple arrogance and entitlement.

Anyways... my Christianity DOES NOT shine in this topic so I regress... I should perhaps now remain SILENT... and plead the fifth. HA
 
In Awe of Him said:
So nice to be talking to you Major.... I enjoy the things you have to say. I am one of the BLESSED because I received a supernatural healing almost three years ago.... Depression GONE... nothing I did... nothing I deserved but now filled with OVERFLOWING JOY.

I think I simply have a bad attitude towards the topic of narcissism... I do not believe it is a mental illness like Schizophrenia... depression and the others that are listed. I believe it to be a societal disorder. I am not stating I am correct... but I am sure this is where my severe lack of compassion comes from. SO.... my bad. HA.
Click to expand...
There is NO need to apologize to me sister. I have found you to be blessed child of God who is more concerned about the feelings of others than your own.

Now my opinion is......we all know people like who we are talking about. When we speak of this disorder, it has to be out of love and concern or there will be toxic repercution.

Here is why I say that. Personality disorders do run in families. I have seen it in my own family.
(As you can see, I am perfectly fine but a lot of my family is not ;);))
Even when a person does not have the disorder, the familiarity of it increases the likelihood that they will marry someone with one. This further perpetuates the disorder within a family unit.

May I aslo add here that Any person who has been married for a while will testify to either their changing personality or that of their spouse. Lifes circumstances have a way of continuing to mold and shape a person for better or worse. Narcissistic traits can grow strong or diminish as a person ages. It is up to them to make a choice towards or against their own natural tendencies.

I can say these things because as a pastor, there is more to it than just preaching and teaching the Word of God. My wife was a great help and she has a degree in Phycology and I learned a lot just sitting and listening to her sessions with church members. And by the way....she had someone in her office almost every day for counseling.......church members!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top