Currently trying to understand how and why a person I know, that say they are a Christian, would complain about a lot of things. The negative attitude has made it difficult to be around this person and I find myself tuning a lot out. When asking "why are you so negative" this person replies "I don't mean to be" then I have said "have you prayed about this" they say they have. I know things work out in God's time but this person has been this way for more than 25 years. As Christians I believe we should have joy....why wouldn't we! We have a Savior who not only has been through everything (He can relate to us) but has conquered! Grumbling just reminds me of the Israelite.
I don't have the right to judge...and point fingers...I'm just at a loss in how to deal with this in a Godly manner. Have been praying.
There are a lot of factors to weigh in...
Why a Christian grumbles (meaning complains I suppose) is ultimately because we aren't perfect creatures. Complaining, for some of us, is something we don't mean to do but we do without even realizing it. There are many reasons to be upset, and it's common to state them. How we express it can draw a fine line between stating problems and grumbling. I don't grumble constantly, but I do grumble -- perhaps weekly anyway. Just Sunday morning, a colleague of mine was attacked and stabbed in her own house (pray for her recovery). My being upset didn't stop at what happened -- I grumbled about people not being careful in bad neighborhoods or being too trusting (not that she wasn't, but just people in general when it does happen). We shouldn't go into that territory in whining and complaining, but sometimes we do and, speaking for myself, I won't even realize it right off that bat.
If this is someone who is struggling with something pretty heavy or even common struggles, it's normal that someone would come off joyful. We've talked about the sort of differences between being joyful and being happy. Joy isn't something always seen. Christ, when he suffered on the cross, had tremendous joy for what He was accomplishing for mankind's salvation, but it's unlikely that he was smiling during that event. Mary, who loved her son and new exactly what He was doing and why, was in serious grieving mode (more so than any of us could even imagine), but knew the joy of the sacrifice.
Christians in the Middle East are being slaughtered for their faith -- they are witnessing their families being beheaded and crucified. It is unlikely you will see or hear joy coming from them -- though we may understand what joy is.
We are deal with different problems in our life. Some are extremely heavy, some are moderate, and some are fairly light. We each need Christ just as much as the other and can experience His joy equally. Though how it is expressed may not appear the same, especially if it is in the midst of suffering.
I've been re-reading a lot of C.S. Lewis lately since I admire his work so much, and one quote of his always sticks out to me:
“I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.”
Grumbling, though, is something we should try to avoid as it deflects us from God. While we should not do it at all, we shouldn't be entirely surprised if someone does as it is human nature, which doesn't make it OK, but it does mean that it is going to be expected.
Sometimes having a dry, stern personality is misinterpreted as grumbling. That's another thing to consider. But we all have to be very careful and pray for help that we don't complain because it can easily slip into blasphemy.