Your opinion: Do I just need to chill?

Discussion in 'Biblical Advices' started by cre8ivim, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. Your opinion: Do I just need to chill?

    Your opinion please. Am I worrying too much about this? I want to make sure I take the right way over the easy way.

    My good friend is about to marry her 3rd husband. The first 2 husbands were physically abusive to her. However, there was never any infidelity. The first husband was a non-believer so I think according to 1Cor 7:12-16 she was released from that marriage.

    The second husband was a believer and for 10 years of their marriage was good to her as far as I know. Things turned ugly when he lost his job. He became depressed, controlling, paranoid, easily agitated and physically abusive. He eventually moved out. She waited several months hoping they would reconcile. When she decided it wasn't going to happen, she divorced him. Now I know God does not want us to be with someone who is hurting us, but no where can I find that the Bible say he allows us to divorce that person...only live separate from them. She started dating soon after that. About 8 months later she met her current fiance. They dated 6 months before becoming engaged.

    I have tried to talk to her about this, but she starts to get defensive so I stop. I don't want to lose her friendship and this guy seems great, but if I go to the wedding I would be supporting the marriage.

    Is it ok to support it?
    Should I just keep my mouth shut and chill?
    Would this be taking the easy way over the right way?
  2. Wow, I thought my response disappeared but I answered you on your other thread.......:eek:
  3. What a good question. My very close family member of mine is in a similar situation. We (my wife and I) love her to death and will to anything for her, but can we continue to condone the relationships she enters that are clearly not Godly?

    I really don't know, but can only share our experience. My wife confronted the family member and tried, in a loving way, to show how her standards were short of God's. The family member is a Christian, but was absolutely infuriated by the conversation, pushing us away and causing much anguish. My wife and I both knew what she did was right, but at what cost? Did we indeed do the right thing if the result was so horrible?

    This all took place over a year ago. After a time, emotions cooled and things got back to normal. Amazingly, two weeks ago, my wife had a conversation with this same family member and she said, and I quote, "I've screwed up my life so many times that I'm ready to let God take over." It shocked us both, but we were so happy to hear those words. She delayed her impending marriage and is making sure it's the right thing to do before moving forward.

    Would she have made that decision without my wife's conversation...who knows? After the initial conversation, my wife wished she could have taken it back. Now, she's glad of the end result. I guess what I'm saying is that approaching your friend, in love, with the word of God might have consequences you don't forsee. But, in the end, if she is indeed your friend, don't you owe it to her to help her out?

    If I can offer any advice, it would be to keep your personal opinions out of the matter. Instead, concentrate on His word. Personal opinions can cut very deeply and are hard to reconcile, but His word is perfect and completely correct.

    It's a tough call, but please keep us posted!
  4. It must be her decision. Your job was to be honest and share your understanding of the biblical teaching. You have done that. Good. Now it is up to her. Remain her friend. Be supportive and loving not judgmental. It is now between her and the Lord.

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