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You Might be a Redneck, IF...

Discussion in 'Humor' started by PreciousPuppy, Nov 15, 2008.

  1. You Might be a Redneck, IF...

    We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. So see, I AM A REDNECK...

    You might be a redneck if:
    You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

    You might be a redneck if:
    You still say 'Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

    You might be a redneck if:
    You bow your head when someone prays.

    You might be a redneck if:
    You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

    You might be a redneck if:
    You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.

    You might be a redneck if:
    You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.

    You might be a redneck if:
    You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

    You might be a redneck if:
    You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.

    You might be a redneck if:
    You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

    God Bless the USA! :dance:
  2. GO RED NECKS!!!
    Red Necks10
    Opposing 0

    Support your local RED NECK!!

  3. These are great sis thanks! People get "red necks" by doing good old fashioned, honest work in the fields.:)
  4. Thank you so much for these thoughts. I never considered myself to be a redneck but if being there for your fellow man, and showing respect for others makes one so, "I am Happy to be a Redneck for GOD.":D
  5. HA HAA!! LOL! I loved these! I am a southern Kentucky Gal so yes, all these ring soooo true.! I am blessed by God for everyting I have, and being from the south is no exception!!!!
  6. Rednecks rule!! the south:D:cool:
  7. Moderator comment


    Unfortunately, we had to remove one members post because it contained political satire. On behalf of the CFS staff, please limit the Redneck jokes to those which are not politically motivated. Thank you all and we are enjoying these... :)
  8. Well I guess that makes me one also, tee hee. :)
  9. I love my red neck friends :D

  10. Red Necks!!
  11. [​IMG][FONT=arial,helvetica] In A Redneck Church [/FONT][​IMG][​IMG]

    1. People ask, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
    2. The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," and then five guys and two women stand up.
    3. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
    4. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
    5. The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
    6. Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.
    7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
    8. Baptism is referred to as "branding".
    9. There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
    10. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
    11. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
    12. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
    13. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" (banjo accompaniment optional)

  12. [​IMG][FONT=arial,helvetica] Rights For Rednecks [/FONT][​IMG][​IMG]

    1. You have the right to remain motionless, boy.

    2. Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth to devour your backside.

    3. You have the right to have your lawyer run with you. Should he refuse, a recent Law School graduate will be appointed by the court to jog along with you.

    4. If while running, you suddenly decide to end the race, beware that my K-9 may or may not understand your intentions, and may continue his pursuit of you in full stride whereupon catching you he will devour your backside.

    5. You may stop running at any time, at your own risk.

    6. Good luck. On your mark, get set.... GO!!!!!
  13. [​IMG][FONT=arial,helvetica] Fishing Licence [/FONT][​IMG][​IMG]

    [​IMG] couple of rednecks were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden.

    Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden.

    After about a half mile the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

    "Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!!" the Warden gasped.

    With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

    "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

    "Yes, sir," replied the young feller, "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one ..."


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