Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by mistafozz, Dec 17, 2015.

  1. I think I have posted a couple of times here ages ago, but have not posted in a long time...

    I started going to church a couple of years ago, at first I was skeptic and quickly got into it and enjoyed it.

    Over the last few months I started to lapse, I was helping to look after my ill sister and runnning errands for my family.

    On the 13 December my sister tragically passed away aged 32, 14 months younger than myself.

    Now, all I have done is think about it, I prayed hard for her, my mother even started coming round to christianity and the idea of God, she has been brutally heartbroken in the most horrible way, she is in her own personal hell right now.

    I cant think of any reason, no matter how many I ask 'WHY' I just cant find an answer anywhere, all my mother is asking 'Where is the justice' or 'She was only 32' and I feel those thoughts creeping into my mind.

    I am starting to wonder whether I can walk into a church again and take it serious, I feel a bit of a fraud at the moment, I cant say anything that comforts my mother, I still have a bit faith to hold onto, but it is slipping away and going quickly.

    I have some very good christians around me...2 of my closest friends and there families, I am also close to my local Salvation Army and been attending a Pentecostal Church where I am close to the Pastor.

    At the end of the day, it has hard to think rationally or think straight right, the days, minutes and hour mean nothing, it just all merges together to make one big blur, I am living in the worst nightmare imaginable.

    I dont know if there is an answer, certainly nothing to convince my mum and dad, they are encouraging me to keep my faith, there ia not much that probably can be said, I just feel I need some, no matter how small, hope to hold onto to guide through

    If you manage to read through my waffling, then thank you

    JG27_chili likes this.
  2. #2 Cturtle, Dec 17, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2015
    May the Lord richly bless you with peace in the midst of this time of mourning. God loves us all and desires for us all to be with Him. There are many possibilities as to why your sister was taken prior to her time. The devil hates us and wants nothing better than to hurt God, by destroying one of His creations. And also to hurt those who are left behind by causing doubt in God's love and faithfulness. This is the biggest reason

    From what i can gather...you are not sure of your sisters salvation?

    God bless you abundantly
  3. Father in the Name of Jesus, I thank You for ministering to mistafozz right in this very moment. Surround him and his family with Your love and presence. Bless them O Lord with Your peace that passes all of their understanding. I thank You Father that he is Your sheep and Your sheep know Your voice. I thank You for speaking to his heart and bringing him the loving comfort that only You can bring. ..wrap Your loving arms around him this very moment and let him know that You are near and have not left him. We pray ps 91 over him and his family and ask Heavenly Father that You send ministering angels to every one of them. In Jesus Name I pray Amen
  4. I believe I have been guided by God myself...I can name at least 2 things in my life where I now realise someone was watching over me, and I think I was pushed to the depths of despair in order to kinda force me to where I am now, thats another conversation.

    As the days go on, I want to believe this is a test of my resolve, that the demons in me were working against me, and going for my achilles heel so to speak, to go after my family, and go after the weakest family member, which was my sister, and taking her from me is there way of exploiting my weakness and for some reason God just didn't get there in time this time around

    I don't know how long this will go on for, I need to go back to church I guess...

    I am on this journey for a reason, I need to find out why, how, what etc
  5. And thank you...your prayers mean a lot
    KingJ and Cturtle say Amen and like this.
  6. I understand your pain and how you could think that God didn't get there in time. For my brother was taken by the devil at 22 and then a year and a half ago..the devil took my dad away. Neither is any of God's fault. The devil is a master at twisting things and distracting people so that they inevitably play into his hand and do not know it. My dad was a very strong believer and trusted God a lot. But because of his getting into arguments (flesh and not love) with my mom, the devil was able to distract him and thus things like basic maintenance on his motorcycle was missed. Plus the possibility of going to fast around a curve caused him to wreck and he lost control. But had he not been distracted....he would have heard the Lord warn him of the things like brakes are worn and need to be replaced or slow down and take this turn carefully or even take your truck instead of the bike. I can guarantee you that God spoke to him, but because of all the thoughts in his mind he could not hear what God was saying.

    I would definitely encourage you to go back to church. You will be able to find comfort there. But until you get there at least get into the Word and find time to fellowship with the Father. He loves you and desires to hug you and comfort you! This is not a journey to try to go alone without him.

    God bless you! And will be praying for you!
  7. Always remember that God will not push you into despair to teach you a lesson. That is the devil's doing. God uses His Word and the Holy Spirit to correct us or speak to us
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  8. Can i ask how much time you invest in your relationship with God?
  9. What are the demons that you feel are "exploiting you" that you are talking about?
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  10. I will get back to you later...I need think it through, rather than throw out a half-***** answer that makes no sense
  11. #11 KingJ, Dec 17, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2015
    Fozz there is no shortage of things to blame God for. But if we are going to judge God (which is what you are doing), let us do it properly. Surely our Creator who made us and gave His life for us deserves a fair judgment?

    Many say we can't judge God. But they don't understand that the reason we are a Christian is because we judge God as good. We are not Christians because we choose to serve the God in charge. God gave us brains to be used. God wants us to know that He is good. We are not talking about grasping all there is to God. Just what our God given working brain can. Which is actually quite a lot. We are more then capable of grasping the difference between good and evil. This is why we are accountable for it.

    So what has happened. You have lost a dear sister. Your mother, a daughter that she raised and cared for for 32 years. Who is to blame for this pain? It is God. No getting away from that. But is God evil for it?

    Would your mother have had a daughter if God did not make one for her? Would your mother have been able to give birth if God did not make her? Would you be able to feel pain if God did not give you feelings? God wanted you to have a sister that you loved. God wanted your mother to have a daughter that she can love and care for. Even what you are going through now is God's will. Why? Why does God let us have what is good and then He take it away? Well, it is a reality of being on earth. We need to remember that God put us on earth because He wants us to find our peace and security in Him. He wants us to live off Him.Death is an inevitability for all. We also cannot grasp God's omniscient plan for ours or others lives.

    Duet 8:3 So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord.

    Answering whether God is evil or not depends on what happens to our loved ones' in His care / the afterlife. Now what does your working brain tell you? A God that ''cares about knowing'' how many hairs are on our head Luke 12:7 + A God that gave His life on the cross for us + He is love 1 John 4:8 + He has no darkness in Him at all 1 John 1:5 . I think you and your mom can more then find peace in the knowledge that God is 'good' and will look after her better then you or anyone else in the universe will.

    The source of your Mom's happiness is not her daughter. It is supposed to be God. As is yours. When you say this tragedy will affect your Christianity, God would wonder how much you love and trust Him.

    Psalm 136:1 Give thanks because God is good.

    Jonah 4:2 I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God.

    Eph 3:8 may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Chris

    Phil 4:7 His peace surpasses all understanding.

    2 Cor 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you.
  12. Forgive me if I find that response a bit sharp...

    I am not blaming god, I am blaming my own demons, I feel there is a force around me that is pushing me to destruction....

    I will come back later when I feel I understand my own thoughts enough to put my opinion across in a sensible way...
    JG27_chili, Fish Catcher Jim and Cturtle says Amen and like this.
  13. I don't think you are in a right state to write anything sane my friend. You need to mourn your sisters loss. Go on a holiday. Don't attack God. He is going to be your only source of peace, understanding and healing.
  14. Demons did not take your sister. God has full control over life and death.
  15. Which is why I will take my time to think about this...
    I still hold onto some of the faith I have...I am lucky to have the people around that I do...
    KingJ likes this.
  16. Sorry about your dad and brother. That's terrible.
    Cturtle likes this.
  17. Well I am sure all reading this here are praying for you now too ;). You going to be just fine my friend.
    JG27_chili and Cturtle say Amen and like this.
  18. I have good people around me...my best friend is a christian and the Pastor at Church is someone who I regard as a personal friend too...

    I will be back when I think things through...

    Support of any kind whether family, my friends, my therapists and counsellors, people at church or even places like this online is good and makes me feel a little securer...

    Till the next time God Bless
    Cturtle likes this.
  19. #19 Cturtle, Dec 18, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2015
    God bless you KJ! There is no sorrow, just rejoicing for he is being well taken care of.

    Had God had total control over my brothers life, he would not have killed himself, but he would still be here today, but when a person is operating outside of God's protective hedge...then they are subject to the evil that is out in the world. They open themselves up to the ways of the devil. But Glory to God he is in no more emotional turmoil...and enjoying God's protective care in heaven.

    Any other reply will need another thread or you can pm Jim and I.

    KingJ and Fish Catcher Jim say Amen and like this.
  20. These are the good things and thoughts that you have to hang onto. Its the only way to not allow the spirit of grief to overtake you. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, and I can guarantee you that you had nothing to do with your sister's death unless you physically did some incantations calling demons to torment her, or used a weapon to take her life. Other than that you don't have the power to give or take a life.

    God bless you!

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