What Is Marriage?

[Musicmaster]

I am divorced. Was divorced against my will essentially, but God has turned it into a good thing! I am a much happier person not in a marriage with my ex-wife and I am no longer depressed or on medications for depression.

God also brought to my life a wonderful woman. We are engaged to be married. I have never had a relationship like this before. We don't tear each other down, we build each other up. We encourage each other. Not saying we don't argue, but when we do, it's a fair argument. I can see the difference when God brings to people together and when he doesn't. The former being my relationship now and the later my previous marriage.

My ex-wife? She is remarried and still doesn't seem to be happy.

Thanks for sharing, brother.

This is a good point you've made. What I see in your words (and I'm not psychoanalyzing you since this goes beyond the human mind) is that the depths of spiritual and emotional maturity plays a HUGE role in not only how one feels from day to day, but also how they interact with others...especially a spouse.

Some people had observed in the past that what they are being told along this line is that they have experienced what is more like unto others around them than they had realized, and they don't like hearing that because they like to think that they were/are unique in relation to all others around them.

Well, I've always been forced to tell them that...well...they are or have experienced what is very typical, but not because they aren't a unique individual in the eyes of their Creator, and therefore created that way, but because they, for one, were created in the very image of God, AND they are subject to the same enemy as all the rest of us, and live in basically the same culture as all the rest of us.

Given that sin is sin, and greatly comes from the same source as all the rest, which is FLESH, and from the hoards that are under the control of the same leader we know as Satan, it's very unremarkable that we find ourselves being manipulated by similar stimuli to our own flesh, hearts, minds and spirits.

The reason I say all this is that it has helped others to recognize their common enemy. I point to the false religion of islam, in how the Sunni's and Shiites are mortal enemies on their basis of their theologies, but when they find they have a common enemy, they fight together, side by side.

Our sin natures make us all mortal enemies against one another because the flesh fixates on ME, ME, ME... It helps folks to realize that we are ALL fighting a common enemy, and that helps us to get our eyes off ourselves, and to look to the betterment of others so that we all fight collectively against a common set of enemies, and THAT, my friend, is the core of all fellowship. That is the impetus, the drive toward holding onto one another.

I better leave it off at that, because this is sounding snively and wimpy, gushy stuff, some of which one finds in Christian counseling coursework. The "experts" have all their psychobabble sounding words for everything, but the bottom line is that many don't see the need we all have for one another. Without that need, Paul would have been nothing more than a sounding gong, with his drive to drill into us the necessity for fellowship amongst believers, and ESPECIALLY between husband and wife. The body of Christ in relation to Christ is similar to the body of unity between a husband and wife, the wife symbolic of a collection of the Church, with physical organs that must function together for her to remain a living being for her husband. We in the Church need each other just as our physical bodies need the functioning organs.

Blessings to you all.

MM

 

[Musicmaster]

These are all nice thoughts. But there be a few things to consider. Firstly some 60 yrs ago you required only one bread winner the husband who easily provided for a entire family and with the wife permanently a home maker as the central point for the entire family unit at home. That has all changed now wether by hook or nook by such organisations as the Rockafella foundation and other government policy makers who firmly endorse having both husband & wife out working. This was made possible by raising the cost of living in so many areas that it makes it almost impossible for a one income family to provide for a family unit . And of course the added stresses to a marriage speak for themselves from these policies as we look upon a society that is hell bent on undermining the ancient concept of marriage and traditional family values. Yes be many variations unto why marriages fail. But there also those with a agenda to make sure many fail from the reasons mentioned above.

Well, I'm descended from the Rothschild family in Ireland, which is my tie to being Israeli. They too are lumped in there with the Bildergurgers and Rockafella families as world manipulators through economic means. The branch of the family I am descended from were not among the instruments of Satan, such as Soros and his ilk.

So, I too once looked upon the financial movers and shakers for the woes of so many, and where it's true that they do indeed make it miserable for so many others, I also came to the realization that there is so much to be said about we in Christ being under a different Kingdom and rulership than the financial moguls of this world.

We are, first and foremost, under the rulership of the King of all Glory. With Him in charge of everything, and therefore nothing slipping past His notice, especially in the lives of His children, we are under His Wings, not those of the world rulers. Psalm 91 is a fantastic overview of His protection over His people, and we therefore have nothing to fear from those powerful people of the world, for the worst they can do is kill our bodies, but ONLY if the Lord allows it, for they will stand begore Him in judgement, and receive the greater damnation for harm they have done to children and peoples the world over.

I am content.

MM

 

[naomanos]

This is a good point you've made. What I see in your words (and I'm not psychoanalyzing you since this goes beyond the human mind) is that the depths of spiritual and emotional maturity plays a HUGE role in not only how one feels from day to day, but also how they interact with others...especially a spouse.

You are right, for some people. For some, it's not a situational depression, but a chemical imbalance.

After my fiance and her husband separated after habitual infidelity on his part (he finally told her that he would not stop cheating on her and that he wanted her to find someone to give her the things that he could not, like not cheating on her) she had a downward spiral where she was so far into depression that she voluntarily committed herself as she was going to harm herself.

She had been on depression medication since she was a pre-teen. She has an actual chemical imbalance in her brain. The meds at that point were not helping her and she had to have herself committed.

Since meeting me, she has come off her meds, although there are times when she feels she still needs them, but I do not give her a reason to be depressed. She still gets very low, but it doesn't last long, now, I can help her come out of it.

Mine was very situational. I was in a situation that was not healthy for me. I would have likely killed myself had I stayed and I would have stayed if she had not kicked me out and filed for divorce. It wasn't long after we separated that I was already feeling better and was weaning myself from depression medications.

My fiance both feel that had we not had the experiences that we did with relationships in the past, both marital (we have both only been married once) and non-marital, we wouldn't have the maturity or incite that we do now. That we were in toxic relationships and marriages. Could they have been repaired? I'm not sure. Both people have to be willing to work and while I wanted to work at it and my fiance wanted to work at her marriage and stuck it out through repeated infidelity, our opposite spouses did not.

I am thankful to God that He has brought my fiance to me. I thought I was going to be alone for the rest of my life, which would not have been good for me long term He knew what and who I needed, and this time I listened to Him and not me.

Hopefully, I am right on track with what you were saying, if not, please correct me.

 

[Musicmaster]

My fiance both feel that had we not had the experiences that we did with relationships in the past, both marital (we have both only been married once) and non-marital, we wouldn't have the maturity or incite that we do now. That we were in toxic relationships and marriages. Could they have been repaired? I'm not sure. Both people have to be willing to work and while I wanted to work at it and my fiance wanted to work at her marriage and stuck it out through repeated infidelity, our opposite spouses did not.

I am thankful to God that He has brought my fiance to me. I thought I was going to be alone for the rest of my life, which would not have been good for me long term He knew what and who I needed, and this time I listened to Him and not me.

Hopefully, I am right on track with what you were saying, if not, please correct me.

Brother, I'm forced to speak from the perspective of who has seen and dealt with situations with similarities to your own...not exact copies, but similar, so to us, toxicities in relationships are all too common. I'm speaking not only from my own experiences with couples but also from the experiences of fellow counselors with whom I've sat around dinking coffee with and spoken in-depth with over many hours of sharing. That's all I'll bore you with from the perspective of, to me, is more of a giving to others than a profession since I am not licensed nor get paid for counseling.

As you know, no mere human can give to any counselee words that would provide all the answers to all things. Our Freudian cohorts out there would offer all manner of seeming "fixes" through various exercises in one's personal life and in conjunction with one's spouse. Damaged goods (so to speak) are, as you said, are among some of the most difficult. When one is fixated on what you stated, in that her ex said to her that he was not going to change for her or anyone else (my take on his heart condition), all anyone can do is shake their head. One can pray for others till Kingdom come, and nothing will change in many.

This is where we get to the point of looking Heavenward, which so many find distasteful and unsatisfying because of a desire for instant fixes and miraculous doings from the Lord they had come to trust and love, and at times feel rejected and are angry toward. My former wife once admitted to me that she was VERY angry with God for giving to her a broken husband like myself, which was one of those really low points in our marriage. I simply wasn't panning out to be what she wanted me to be, and because it was the Lord leading me in that direction, she was acutely aware of the position she was in with trying to alter my path in conformance to her desires. Loving someone sometimes requires taking the higher road that most others around us would say is sin.

Staying the course, and prayer, is what brought her to acceptance of what the Lord was using me for, and so our marriage blossomed immensely after that "fix" the Lord injected into it all.

From what you have said thus far, it seems to me that you're on the right path with that precious lady. Sometimes, couples coming from other "wars," provides for them a symbiosis that is far better than any healing potion of words through counseling, or even reading the Bible because, as you know, the Bible is merely a sign post tool pointing to the Author, who alone is the Mater Healer of our souls and our sprits, bodies and minds. A relationship bathed in prayer, that is from where the glorious influx of healthy love and relationship flows. I'm preaching to the choir here, I know, but having said that, I would stand in the gap for you and her if that were needed. As it is, however, it sounds like you both are on the right track so long as you maintain the Lord, with your compass pointed only at Him.

MM

 

[naomanos]

Brother, I'm forced to speak from the perspective of who has seen and dealt with situations with similarities to your own...not exact copies, but similar, so to us, toxicities in relationships are all too common. I'm speaking not only from my own experiences with couples but also from the experiences of fellow counselors with whom I've sat around dinking coffee with and spoken in-depth with over many hours of sharing. That's all I'll bore you with from the perspective of, to me, is more of a giving to others than a profession since I am not licensed nor get paid for counseling.

As you know, no mere human can give to any counselee words that would provide all the answers to all things. Our Freudian cohorts out there would offer all manner of seeming "fixes" through various exercises in one's personal life and in conjunction with one's spouse. Damaged goods (so to speak) are, as you said, are among some of the most difficult. When one is fixated on what you stated, in that her ex said to her that he was not going to change for her or anyone else (my take on his heart condition), all anyone can do is shake their head. One can pray for others till Kingdom come, and nothing will change in many.

This is where we get to the point of looking Heavenward, which so many find distasteful and unsatisfying because of a desire for instant fixes and miraculous doings from the Lord they had come to trust and love, and at times feel rejected and are angry toward. My former wife once admitted to me that she was VERY angry with God for giving to her a broken husband like myself, which was one of those really low points in our marriage. I simply wasn't panning out to be what she wanted me to be, and because it was the Lord leading me in that direction, she was acutely aware of the position she was in with trying to alter my path in conformance to her desires. Loving someone sometimes requires taking the higher road that most others around us would say is sin.

Staying the course, and prayer, is what brought her to acceptance of what the Lord was using me for, and so our marriage blossomed immensely after that "fix" the Lord injected into it all.

From what you have said thus far, it seems to me that you're on the right path with that precious lady. Sometimes, couples coming from other "wars," provides for them a symbiosis that is far better than any healing potion of words through counseling, or even reading the Bible because, as you know, the Bible is merely a sign post tool pointing to the Author, who alone is the Mater Healer of our souls and our sprits, bodies and minds. A relationship bathed in prayer, that is from where the glorious influx of healthy love and relationship flows. I'm preaching to the choir here, I know, but having said that, I would stand in the gap for you and her if that were needed. As it is, however, it sounds like you both are on the right track so long as you maintain the Lord, with your compass pointed only at Him.

MM

Thank you for the kind words! We are on the right track for sure.

 

[Prim90]

Well MM many of your Rothschild descendants are certainly a large lump of the pie including your Rothschild descendants from Ireland. You be the exception to the rule not many of the Rothschild descendants come to know Christ. Amazing I do award you the order of the Purple Heart in coming to know . Still the Rothschild dynasty far outweighs the economic and political influence than of both Mr Soros and the Rockefeller’s combined. but all do adhere to their common cause of globalisation when it comes to their dream of the ages a new world order utopia. As to traditional marriage here is another concern and something to think about. Many here seem to frown upon those who just turn up to a simple marriage registry to say I DO. I dare say their marriage vows do not send them into debt whereas as a traditional marriage today will cost you a pretty penny not lower than 20,000 dollar the average cost being somewhere around the 30-40.000 dollar mark last time I checked. So it seems that traditional marriage has become another money making racket throughout the world. And just another nail in the coffin to make sure your marriage is behind the 8 ball even before your married life has begun. MM does seem very much so that our lives seem to be more and more controlled and owned from the cradle unto the grave. Yes I fully understand that our God overlooks and sees all things. And it be only He that keeps us safe until our appointed time. But still we are commended to be diligent in all things. And when in comes to life in general. MONEY changes everything.