The first time around here means the first full attempt at seeking God. What if I sought God and confessed Jesus as Savior out of feelings? Should I have been confessing out of experience, maturity and from my spirit rather than doing it emotionally? I have not loved Jesus more and hated sin at the same time. I've been licentious with a few sins. I feel like I've been, unknowingly, and without trying, a liar and a hypocrite during my first time around. What's happening here? I want to repent and start all over. I need God's love to penetrate so I can believe it for me. I need God!