The Christmas Pagent.... Funny

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Dusty, Jan 12, 2008.

  1. The Christmas Pagent.... Funny

    My husband and I had been happily married (most of the time)
    for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby.

    I decided to do some serious praying and promised God
    that if he would give us a
    child, I would be a perfect mother,
    love it with all my heart and raise it with His word as my guide.

    God answered my prayers and blessed us with a son.

    < B>The next year God blessed us with another son.

    The following year, He blessed us with yet another son.

    The year after that we were blessed with a daughter.

    My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty.
    We now had four children, and the oldest was only four years old.

    I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it.
    As a minister once told me, 'If you pray for rain, make sure you carry an umbrella.'

    I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children
    each day as they lay in their cribs.

    I was off to a good start.
    God had entrusted me
    with four children and
    I didn't want to disappoint Him.

    I tried to be patient the day
    the children smashed
    t wo dozen eggs on
    the kitchen floor searching
    for baby chicks.

    I tried to be understanding...

    when they started a hotel for
    homeless frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took me
    nearly two hours
    to catch all twenty-three frogs
    When my daughter poured
    ketchup all over herself and
    rolled up in a blanket to see
    how it felt to be a hot dog,
    I tried to see the humor
    rather than the mess.

    In spite of changing over
    twenty-five thousand diapers,
    never eating a hot meal
    and never sleeping for more
    than thirty minutes at a time,
    I still thank God daily for my children.

    While I couldn't keep my promise
    to be a perfect mother -
    I didn't even come close...
    I did keep my promise
    to raise them in the Word of God.

    I knew I was missing the mark
    just a little when I told
    my daughter we were going
    to church to worship God,
    and she wanted to bring
    a bar of soap along to
    'wash up' Jesus, too.

    Something was lost
    in the translation when
    I explained that
    God gave us everlasting life,
    and my son thought it was
    generous of God to give
    us his 'last wife.'

    My proudest moment came
    during the children's
    Christmas pageant.

    My daughter was playing Mary,
    two of my sons were shepherds
    and my youngest son was a wise man.
    This was their moment to shine.

    My five-year-old shepherd
    had practiced his line,
    'We found the babe wrapped
    in swaddling clothes.'

    But he was nervous and said,
    'The baby was wrapped
    in wrinkled clothes.'

    My four-year-old 'Mary' said,
    'That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly.
    That's dirty, rotten clothes.'
    A wrestling match broke out
    between Mary and the shepherd
    and was stopped by an angel,
    who bent her halo and lost
    her left wing.
    I slouched a little lower
    in my seat when Mary
    dropped the doll representing
    Baby Jesus, and it bounced
    down the aisle crying,
    Mary grabbed the doll,
    wrapped it back up
    and held it tightly as
    the wise men arrived.

    My other son stepped forward
    wearing a bathrobe
    and a paper crown,
    knelt at the manger
    and announced,
    'We are the three wise men,
    and we are bringing gifts
    of gold,
    common sense
    and fur.'

    The congregation
    dissolved into laughter,
    and the pageant
    got a standing ovation.
    'I've never enjoyed a Christmas
    program as much as this one,'
    laughed the pastor,
    wiping tears from his eyes

    'For the rest of my life,
    I'll never hear the
    Christmas story without
    thinking of
    common sense
    and fur.'

    'My children are my pride
    and my joy and my greatest
    blessing,' I said as I dug
    through my purse for an aspirin.


  2. Hope you got it all on tape LOL:p

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