Hi all, Thanks for allowing me to be a part of this forum. A little background: I grew up in Church and a religious household. I accepted Christ as a young man. Around 16-17, I decided I no longer really needed God or faith. I became rational and proceeded to live the next 16 years in a state of rationalization. God didn't exist. Science showed us this. Everything was explained and that was satisfactory. I recently found myself in a family crisis where my family is falling apart and my love is about to walk out and the kids will pay the price. I mention this because it prompted me, in a rare moment of helplessness to look to God for help. for the last two weeks Ive been back and forth. I feel like something deep inside is pulling me but my rational side keeps popping up telling me that God isn't really there. So asking for a miracle is pointless. And even if he was, I've turned my back on Him and so I am undeserving. If he even exists. And even if he did, how selfish to ask for miracles when ive been uncommitted and even downright scornful. Perhaps tragic situations are how he intervenes but I dunno. I've been praying but it's difficult. I guess I'm unsure what to do or where to turn now.... Any words or prayers would be greatly welcome.