Signs [SIZE=+1]"Signs" [/SIZE] Spotted in the toilet of a London office: "Toilet out of order. Please use floor below." In a Laundromat: "Automatic washing machines. Remove all your clothes when the light goes out." In a London department store: "Bargain Basement upstairs." In an office: "Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday bring it back, or further steps will be taken." In an office: "After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board." Outside a secondhand shop: "We exchange everything -- bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?" Notice in health food shop window: "Closed due to illness." Spotted in a safari park: "Elephants stay in your car." Seen during a conference: "For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care center on the 1st floor." Notice in a farmer's field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. Message on a leaflet: "If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons." On a repair shop door: "We can repair anything. Please knock on the door -- the bell doesn't work."