Why are there days I do so good with praying, and studying. Then other days I feel like I am condemned to Hell fire. I get so frustrated because this world is so upside down and so are my emotions. I lament over the tough days and don't feel worthy. I also question if I am worthy. Worthy of his Grace and Mercy. I have fallen short MANY times and I keep getting up and pushing forward. I believe with all of my heart Yeshua is who He says He is. I thought being a believer would make life easier, but it hasn't because I have bared my cross daily and some days it is hard to get back up. For years I backslid and went back to my old ways. I guess it was because I felt shunned by the Christian world with what the Lord has showed me over the years. I thought maybe I was wrong. So many things I have been shown are linked together in ways I had no idea until it was revealed to me. I feel the sorrows and lement over them. I see the people being decieved by the wolves. Not just 1000's of people but Billions. My soul cries out and I have no way of fixing it. It is just like the days of Noah. I see the signs. Yet I still stumble. I have never cast out demons, healed the people, helped the widows or orphans. I complain and grumble if my wife needs something done. It is hard work being righteous when we are molded to the lies and ways of life that are no righteous. Years ago I wondered why we didn't celebrate the feast and festivals, and it wasn't until recently that I have been celebrating the Shabbat on Friday through Saturday. I don't know enough about the ways of the Hebrews and I feel I need to know this to understand the deeper meanings behind the Lord our G_d. I need prayers for strength, courage and understanding. If anyone else has had this same issue post yours. It could help me understand. Thank you for reading this post.