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Cosia said:
PTSDintheAsylum
Pastor Gary
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Papa Smurf

Hello and God Bless
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Hey there. I’m having a bit of a topic that’s bothering me. Have you ever heard of the question of when Children’s Day became a thing? Many children ask their parents why there is a Mother’s Day and Father’s Day but no Children’s Day, only for them to reply “because every day is children’s day”. Many tend to believe this due to children’s lives being centered upon them all the time. But I feel this reply is dismissive to children who have been abused in their homes and/or have their rights restricted in public. Here are some examples I found:

www.quora.com

When a child asks, “Why is there a Mothers’ Day and a Fathers’ Day, but no “Children’s Day”, how is it that every parent knows to answer,...

Answer (1 of 43): I don’t know that every parents answers that - but it’s obviously common. it’s sacrcasm, which we often find funny. But it loses the funny when it starts to become how we really see children or how children think we see them. I’ve been working with young children in various aspe...
www.quora.com www.quora.com

I’ve had that conversation recently with my mom about it and try to explain to her that the reply dismisses abused children, only for her to defend the statement by saying “but what about when children are abusive to their elders? Have you thought about that?” and then goes on to describe the recent news she found about a girl drowning her grandmother. That story is sad and all, but nearly every time she pulls it up, she uses it to dismiss the abuse against children. I agree some children are abusive to their elders but the difference is that many times children are not raised right and so they act out in ways that are not appropriate. When I explained on that, she replied “only sometimes. Kids only do this just for spite and because they WANT to, like they WANT to take drugs”. I roll my eyes in disgust because she fails to acknowledge the actual reasons behind bad behavior in children. In most cases, they have been abused in some manner that motivates them to make poor choices. But she comes to defense that no parent has an influence on their kids and the kids made those choices for their own “selfish” desires. Yep, my mom is certainly an ageist.

Speaking of the phrase “every day is children’s day”, that itself is far from true, despite what people like to believe, and here’s why. Children did NOT make the choice to be born. The parents are responsible for the existence for their own kids. The parents MADE the choice to have kids. And to counter the claim that everything is centered on kids every day and that parents having a day worshipping them is reasonable, that is not a choice but a REQUIREMENT. A choice is a form of privilege, but the fact is children do not have the same privileges as adults so therefore it becomes a requirement. Feeding your kids is not a choice, giving your kids a form of education is not a choice, taking time to coddle with your kids is not a choice, it’s a perfect example of being a good parent, that’s a parent doing their job. The reply I’m going to describe absolutely irritates me:

“when the kids were little, they and my husband would make me breakfast in bed. It would take me anywhere from a week to two months to clean up from their hour in the kitchen. Mother's Day.

My husband sleeps in, gets showered in love and affection, and presents, and gets his favorite homecooked meals. Or we go to his favorite restaurant. He spends zero minutes cleaning up after. Father's Day.

Sunday, my 13 year old slept in (on sheets she did not buy, on a bed, in a room, in a house, she did not pay for). She took a shower (she didn't work to pay the electric, water, buy the towels and soap, or wash and fold the towels). She ate (her favorite cereal, and a banana, neither of which she bought). She did school work (on a laptop that she didn't buy) with internet (she didn't pay for). She watched TV (that she didn't buy) and tidied up her room. She asked for beignets. I cooked and cleaned, and ran to the store, and unloaded groceries [she helped] and made dough, and dinner, and fried them up. She ate, retreated to her room, and eventually went to sleep. (On sheets, in a bed, in a room, in a house, that she did not pay for.) Children's Day. Everyday!

Mom's and Dad’s have to work 363 days a year, to get that one. I'm happy to switch with any of my kids, if they'd like!”

There are several things WRONG with that reply within itself. Believing parents can have all the special treatment they like but excusing the needs for children as privileges is just plain hypocritical. For one thing, the girl the woman described is 13 years old and not old enough to have a job yet. But she uses this to her child’s disadvantage to compare against her will as everything she did NOT buy, therefore she is somehow as capable of the responsibilities of an adult despite her young age. This is purely nothing but a guilt ploy and a sign of abuse against their young to be offered special treatment.

In short, I am tired of this constant defense and it is annoying and ignorant in general. This seriously needs to stop right now.

Edit: there’s the stupid thing I found describing how and why all children are annoying to the existence of parents (when they made a choice to have children), absolutely ageist: https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/sep/20/why-are-children-so-annoying-google
 
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  • Praying
Reactions: Via dolarossa
My wife is often thanking her mom for being mean. She saw what trouble her peers who had "nice" parents got into. She avoided so many pitfalls in life, realizing this when she became an adult. Some of her stories of growing up portrays her mom as abusive at times. We have to remember that we all are humans with sinful faults and we fail at times. The outcome, though, depends on how you handle or deal with it, and if Christ is the center of your life.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Via dolarossa, Cosia and bobinfaith
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