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Please tell me - Am I wrong by doing this?

Discussion in 'College and Youth' started by Glad2KnowHim, Nov 3, 2009.

  1. Please tell me - Am I wrong by doing this?

    Actually I have a bunch of confusion in my mind regarding this problem. But I would sum it up to be like this: Am I wrong if I had to reject or keep reasoning whenever one or more friends of mine would invite me to visit their church just because of a person whom I can barely cope with is in the same church? Specifically, it's a fellowship group (or whatever you call it) in where you share about the Gospel, so there won't be too much people as in common church service.

    Note that I don't hate nor mad at him, I think I just too understand this person and there are some of his attitudes that I can't stand. And the more frustrating things are: He's also one of my colleagues who sometimes drives me crazy when he does things that troubled me but don't even matter for him, in fact he thinks those things are good, yet I felt like being pushed to do something!

    Do I have to reject the invitation just because of this guy? But I need to have a community of believers in where I can bear fruit and have my faith grow...

    I hope this is the right section to share. I would appreciate it very much if you would respond!

    God bless you!
  2. Hello Glad2KnowHim,

    it shows great strength and maturity that you sought out an answer to your troubled heart. I pray that the Lord would guide me.

    Warning. I'm not admitting or saying that these things are easy in any way to do but I do think these things are what the Scriptures teach.

    1. You have to decide whether these attitudes that he has are sins or not.
    1.1 If they are sins and against you, then forgive him as the Lord forgave you. But also talk to him and encourage him and speak the truth in love and gentleness and try to guide him gently from his sins to repentance.
    1.2 if they are not sins, then remember that the Lord made him. Have mercy on him in areas you may disagree and not get along well, and remember again that your Lord made him.
    1.3 If you are unsure, then it is likely that these are attitudes that are coming from a hardened heart or legalistic motives. Encourage him and befriend him. For the Lord did not abandon you from your hardened heart and legalistic motives. Patience is the key.

    2. if he is tempting you to sin then fear with all your heart even the garment polluted by the flesh. but still show mercy to him - with trembling. Hold fast to fearing the Lord. try to show him his hypocrisy.

    3. If he is 'forcing' you to do something 'Christian' then remember that there is value in being accountable to each other in the body of Christ, but also remember that we're no better than Pharisees if our accountability is changing our actions, but not also our heart. Depending on what it is, pray about it and maybe it is the Lord challenging you to step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes we meet the Lord in the faces of people on the street. You will have to discern whether it is the Lord challenging you or simply him trying to make you feel bad.

    4. wolves will come into the flock. You will know them by their fruits. If you notice lack of fruit in him... again encourage and bring to his attention your concerns. Don't think "wolf" lightly - we all make mistakes.

    5. If he is not a wolf, then you must love as a brother. In the depths of your heart you mustn't despise him. The Lord sees all heart attitudes and grudges. He's probably lonely to a degree. Have mercy and love.

    6. Christians are like tea bags. You see what's in them when they are put in hot water. Maybe the Lord is seeking to grow you in this situation. The very testimony that something inside you posted this may be evidence enough that you should not reject this guy in your mind, but persevere with him. You never know, you may be there to help him. The sick need a doctor, but too often we like hanging with everyone that is well.

    I like your honesty and conviction. This is not easy. I hope the Lord may have used something from my useless mix of words to encourage you.

    In the Lord Jesus we can endure all things :)

    PS. Sorry about the lack of Bible referencing on this one (honestly - bit of a rush), please ask me if you want Scripture backing to my many words and I will provide it for you joyfully celebrating that you desire Scripture's words over man.
  3. Luke, what a great response! This is sage advice...advice that we can all take something away from.

    All I can add to this is... well... what Luke said.

    Praying that the Lord will guide you to His will for you in this situation.:smiley40:

    Blessings, Cheri
  4. Thank you for posting! That is a difficult circumstance to be in. Sometimes certain people just "annoy" us and it isn't that we have anything against them, it's justa clash i guess. Not to mention, if it is a coworker, you don't feel comfortable around at work, you really don't want to have to be around them again!
    I would suggest that you visit once or twice. See how things go, if it is tolerable and if you are able to go there. If not, you didn't do anything wrong, you must love him, but not things he does that offend you. You can feel free to grow and worship anywhere you choose friend, and you need to be somewhere you are comfortable. Blessings to you friend.!
  5. Hey Luke,

    I notice that you mainly speak about having mercy on him and forgiveness, that's Christ-like and is good, but as I told you that I don't hold any grudge nor mad at him, yet I would become a crazy if I cannot deal with all stuffs talking into my head... His attitude is not a sin (I guess), but is aggravating and it's almost like you were told to do something that both you and him MUST do, while he himself didn't do it! I have to say that he's kinda like a senior in the company.. So I can't talk to him about this because he always thinks like he is more superior and older than me, so everything that I say can hardly be true for his ears..

    But I'm a bit relieved by your encouragement: "Maybe the Lord is seeking to grow you in this situation." Thank you. And about Bible reference, I don't desperately need this as much as I need words of encouragements and suggestions from my listening friends, such as you, but I don't mind if you would add some and it's even greater!

    Thanks again Luke.
  6. @ILOVEUSA911,
    I will. Thanks for your support!

    Short post but seems to be the answer to my matters. Firstly, I unfortunately have to be around him because he's kinda like monitoring me as a senior...

    Visit the church once or twice? I will think about it. And you also need to know that he's frequently asked to come out and share something in a group of fellowship (we call it "community of love") or to become a speaker, and do I really have to hang on his every words knowing all his conducts and the way he treated me??? That sucks... And oh! I forgot to tell you that one of the reason that made me wanted to visit the church is because some of my friends are in the very church as well! ohhhhh....

    Thank you for all of your kind responses, my brothers and sisters in Christ. May God bless you!
  7. hey friend.
    noo, you do not need to hang on his everyword, just be polite and christian, if he needs help, help him, love him and be good to him, but in your heart you can't fake that you enjoy his company and you don't have to, God knows all things of the heart, so do love him, but it is okay to not be best friends!
    If you have friends that go there that is great for you, it might make you feel much more comfortable there! So i see that as a blessing!, but, make sure you are friendly to the other one as well, or it may be a bad situation!! blessings to you, I hope it all turns out well, just love all, be good to all, help all, and do it all for HIM!!!!
  8. If he is driving you crazy, it’s because you are letting him.
    In other words, you are giving him free rent inside your head.
    Look at all the people Jesus came into contact with. He didn’t let any of them drive him crazy, and he didn’t do it by avoiding them.
  9. ...

    i'd say pray about it, make sure its really the person's actions that disturb you and not something petty...

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