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Leaving the house

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by Johana, May 10, 2008.

  1. Leaving the house

    Hello everybody. I am a 21 year old girl. I am the oldest child in our family, I have two younger brothers. So, that's about me.

    During this year I've decided to move from my family to learn to live "on my own". To earn money, to save, to pay rent... to learn to be independent. I know it's quite usual in some countries, but here, in the Czech republic it is not. The reason why the young people leave the house here is mainly going to college or moving to a girl- or a boyfriend (which is not my case). I prayed for it a lot and God was so generous and kind to me, that he gave me the opportunity to move to a small house in a village (that's what I've ever dreamt for:eek:) with two more girls from my church. He also gave me the money I need for the begining... He cares greatly. I am moving at the begining of July.

    On the other hand it is quite difficult for me. I am used to come home and to have the dinner at the table, to have all my clothes washed and ironed... and I am sure I will struggle with this a bit:(.

    I am sorry if this thread is hard to understand, English is not my native language, you see:eek:, and also the cultural difference might be too big... I don't know.

    I just wanted to ask if there's anybody who left the house in about my age and how did it g. Or if there are some parents whose children have left... so that I could understand my parents better...

    thank you very much!
     
  2. I hope all goes well sister. I remember the state of shock I was in whne I moved out and had to pay for everything. At least it taught me to budget!:)
     
  3. It is definitely a good thing to learn the responsibility of living on your own. I know some here say they believe women/girls, should live with their parents until marriage - I personaly believe that you are far better prepared to be a good wife if you have had to run a household - including budgeting, cleaning, cooking, etc, prior to getting married.
     
  4. Well.... I have been out of my parents house since around 17.5...... first in college in a dorm, and then by 18.5 in my own apartment, working and paying my own rent and bills. I had a roommate, which I hated and it was tough. She'd take my clothes and she was much bigger than I, so she would stretch them all out. I'd run into her at school and she'd be wearing my things without permission. She also ate all the food in the house. I would buy things and they would be gone. She also began asking me for money for bills that I already had paid (she was trying to get me to pay her half as well). Sometimes I'd be in my room and I couldn't even leave because she was too busy "entertaining" a male in the living room. It was a horrible experience. At 19, I picked up a second job and got my own apartment without a roommate.

    There were additional things that made living on my own at such a young age tough. I had no credit, so I couldn't get financed for a car or anything. At one point I would ride the bus home from work, and because of where I lived the bus stopped running by a certain hour. If I missed my transfer, then there was no more bus that night because mine was the last run. It took me an hour to get home on the bus, when a car would have gotten me there in 15 minutes. I saved up enough to finally buy a car cash, and two weeks later some guy pulled out in front of me and hit me. The accident was his fault, but as everyone knows the insurance never pays quite enough to cover the cost of a replacement car. Another financial problem that I had was that I was too young to get financial aid for school. There was a minimum age that you had to be in order to apply for the PELL Grant on your own (without claiming your parent's income), and I was not at that age yet. So, I was unable to get money for school even though I was supporting myself.

    Anyhow, I am not complaining about how difficult things were. All of our experiences contribute to how we are as people. We are what we make of them. I got through those years, and honestly I can't say that my life has ever gotten any easier since then. :p

    Now I look at these young people who complain about their easy lives, and think that the world owes them something, and it kinda sickens me. They have absolutely no clue. I don't think half of them could walk a week in my shoes.

    Johana, I wish you all the best in your endevour to be independent. I hope that you will not face the struggles that I did, and if you do that God will help you through them. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
     
  5. Johana, God bless you very much! It is very hard leaving your home, you realize how much of a shell your parents provide for you.

    Just pray, and ask God for guidance. Of course your first few months of year(s) of being away from your parents may be confusing with trying to find a job, paying bills, buying food, doing your laundry and clothes, etc. etc.

    Don't feel bad about English as your second language. While English is my first, speaking Japanese (which I need to learn again!) was hard at first but the more you speak it it gets easier. :)

    I say God will be there for you. At least you have someone watching over you! Many young people go out into the world un-knowing that it is not as easy as it looks. Just be careful and stay focused on God.

    Please send more updates.

    God BLESS YOU!

    Near
     
  6. Thank you all for the encouragement. Today I've told my youngest brother (13 years) that I'm moving. He was sad... He is the main reason why it is difficult for me. He is too young... I think he really needs me... I am looking for his visits and also I will be going to our family house often. The second brother is 18 and we are very good friends, but I think he doesn't need an older sister too much. Now I am looking for some furniture... I am allowed to take something from home, but not much. I must get a bed, a table, a wardrobe and few more things. But God will care... he always does:shepherd:. I will send more updates when I have some

    Be blessed
     
  7. I left home at age 19 and got by just fine on my own. Of course, it might be different for a guy. I was not close to my family except my loving mother. I couldn't wait to get away from my sorry-excuse-for-a-dad. It depends on how independent you are. I was so used to being alone with both parents working that being on my own wasn't a problem.
     
  8. If you stick with God, everything will be okay. Even though things can and will get rough, it's all a learning experience. In a sense, what doesn't kill us will only make us stronger. :D

    Personally, I got kicked out of the house a few weeks after graduation, so I had no choice but to hit the ground running. Looking back, I probably couldn't do that to my kids even though it does build character.

    Again, lean on our Heavenly Father for guidance, and all will be well.
     
  9. I'm still at home, but alot of my friends arn't. It's really not that big of a deal, you just get used to it. You can get used to it just as easily as you got used to living with everything done for you. Only thing I suggest is finding a roomate, for all the obvious reasons.
     
  10. You will be fine.
    You have shown that God is providing for you and it seems He wants you to be trusting in Him more and more.
    I am sure He has plans for you and you will learn quickly as you lean on Him.
    Try to be wise in all your decisions and prayerful.
    Enjoy !:)
     
  11. How exciting! Moving out on your own, with your own little cottage and everything! This is a great time for you!
    I know it is scary. You are responsible for yourself now. You have to make the decisions. But you are on your way! The first major one was deciding to move out. The next was seeing how God continues to care for you. Hallelujah!

    My two daughters moved out after getting married. It just happened that way. My son moved out on his own before he married. But I missed them, terribly! I cried very hard when the first one moved out. Its hard to cut the apron strings (this is a saying that means the children used to hang onto the strings of your apron, needing you for everything. But you've cut the strings and now they have to be dependent on themselves. ((just in case you havent heard of this saying before)) )
    Sometimes, parents have a hard time letting go. They feel like they must give advice, make suggestions, question...not because they doubt your ability to take care of yourself. Its their way of showing they love you, your still their daughter and they are concerned for you. I have grandchildren now, and my mother is still trying to 'mother' me! ha! But I let her because I know its something she needs to do.
    Be patient with your parents, and try reassure them as much as possible. They will still worry about you, but that's ok! It will get better!
     
  12. Dear Fluffy,
    thank you very much. It has a great value to see it by eyes of a parent. God bless you in everything you need,
    Johana
     
  13. I lost weight when I first moved from home at 18 because I hadn't learned much about cooking and I was exceedingly stingy with my food budget. I don't know how it is in your country, but most Americans will be apalled to learn that I didn't even know how to make mac-and-cheese. :eek: I had some nice roommates and some not so nice. You learn, you grow, you laugh about it in later years. What is life without stories to tell? :)
     
  14. I knew nothing about cooking or even washing my own clothes when I moved out on my own after high school, but you eventually learn from trial and error--mostly error.
     
  15. What a brave decision you have made. It sounds like me 20 years ago. At 20 I moved out and moved 1,000 miles away from my parents with whom I was very close. It was hard and I second guessed myself many times. 20 years later I realized it was the best decision for me. I grew up quickly and would not trade that decision for anything.
     
  16. Johana,

    I got married while still in High School and regretted it. If I could go back, I would have saved up money while living with my parents, went to college to get my degree, then when I had a job and money to live on my own, I would find a place to get my independence, then thought about marriage. I believe it would have been a lot easier. If you find that you're not ready to live on your own, don't worry about going back to live with your parents. Don't worry what others think. By making the right decisions, you'll be glad you chose the right things.
     
  17. I definitely have to write my little story here ;).

    So-o-o... I've become a student when I was 15 (yeah, sure 15). I was studying in a 1.5 hours of the way by bus from home, so I was going home every weekend :). I continued living there after graduating, because we don't have opportunity to work in my small native town :(. I was constantly living on a flat with a hostess. I was changing my location several times, 'cause there were some problems with that hostess.

    Now I am 22 and I was still living far from home and coming home only for weekends :(. I'm looking for a job in a city. Of course, dreaming about living at home woth my mum, But I'm afraid I can't. They offer no vacancies here, and that's why I have to live "somewhere else".



    P.S. Johana, English isn't my native language too, you see? ;)))))
     

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