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Kids Say the funniest things

Discussion in 'Humor' started by GodSpeaks, May 3, 2010.

  1. Kids Say the funniest things

    Casey asked her Sunday school teacher a question: "If the people of Israel are Israelites, and the people of Canann are Canannites, are the people of Paris called Parasites?"

    An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"

    Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled Banner was sung before the start of each game. Then the father and son attended a church on a Sunday shortly before Independence Day. The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, the little boy suddenly yelled out, "PLAY BALL!!!"

    A six-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes as we forgive those who passed trash against us."
  2. Cute ..... he he
  3. Haha! You got me!!!!
  4. the first one was my favorite <3
    hehe, so cute :)
  5. When my daughter was younger she asked me if eating sweets would give her cabbages in her teeth (instead of cavities)
    and when its dark my son says its peach black :D
  6. ROFL! That's hilarious!
  7. These are elementary school kids and they didn't correct the spelling on what they wrote so that's what makes some of these so funny!

    • In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
    • Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
    • Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
    • Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
    • Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
    • The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
    • The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
    • Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
    • The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
    • David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
    • Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
    • When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
    • Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
    • Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
    • It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
    • The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
    • One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
    • St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
    • Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
  8. Kids say the darnest things .... They are so innocent . Ilove this one ..... he he ...
  9. LOL there were some great ones. like this --

    Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

    ROFL ! :smiley90:

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