I'm New Here... But I'm Feeling A Little Discouraged & Seeking Spiritual Guidance, Prayer

Discussion in 'New Members Welcome' started by CeeCee27, May 30, 2013.

  1. I'm new here.. I'm a 27 year old devoted mother & wife.. & i need help I'm all ways possible.. Be it advice, prayer, scriptures, any type of spiritual guidance is appreciated..

    At the moment, I'm feeling a little discouraged about my marital situation. I've been married for two years, and it was been very rocky. My husband and I just recently went through a very serious situation, where he spent approximately three weeks in jail for DV. In this time, I prayed constantly for God to heal both he and I from the hurt that we were both feeling. I prayed for change in my husband (he has never really been "of God"). I prayed for healing and restoration in our marriage. When he was released, he went to his parents (who have been against our marriage from the beginning, when my husband chose to put me & our family above and before their needs, as the Bible states for him to do). We didn't talk for days, but I still prayed, constantly. He had been out of jail for about 5 days before we saw one another this past Monday. We met at our house for a Bible study and prayer session. We didnt really talk much about our marriage, however we did pray and read our Bibles together and discuss what we read. We spent about three hours together, and once the prayer session ended, we sat on the couch just holding each other. Toward the end of this encounter, I noticed his mood had changed. He didnt really say what was bothering him, just that he was enjoying the moment. I didn't hear from him the next day until later that night when he text me and told me that he wanted to end our marriage. I immediately fell into tears, as I felt that everything that I had been praying for and hoping for was now ending. I asked him to meet me at our home. He was very reluctant at first, but eventually agreed. While there, he held me as I wept, for what seemed like forever. Finally, we were able to talk. He told me that he loved me, his desire was to spend his life with me, and that he didnt want to divorce me, but that he felt he had no other choice because he had to look out for him. He continued by saying that if he chooses to stay married to me and it doesnt work out that he will have no one, and that his parents have told him that he either divorces me or they will disown him. I proceeded to tell him that my desire is not to hurt him and that while i realized he was struggling with issues in the past (which caused him to have exceptional anger) that since I have been praying and asking God to change my heart and his, I have noticed the humbleness that he now has, and that I believe that God will make a way for us, especially if we place him at the head of our lives and follow his word (things we never did before in our marriage). He told me that he saw a change in me and that he believed that I was truly changing into a better person and that he wanted to allow me the opportunity to manifest that change in our marriage. He then told me of the things that hurt him and the things that he feared, the "what ifs" that he feared would come to light if we stayed married. I told him that the devil wants to use those worries, those fears against him because of his desire in his heart to remain married and fulfill his commitment to me and God, and that if he just has faith and commits to God and follows God's word that he will have nothing to worry about. God will subside all of these things. He seemed to understand and be willing to take a chance at turning our marriage around. Seeking God in a more pure, sincere way. We parted ways after about an hour. However, I have not heard from him since. I've attempted to email, text, call..and nothing. It's like he's shut me out, again. I've continued to pray and ask God to work on him and with him thru these struggles so that our marriage can be restored correctly. I feel discouraged because I know that everyone around him, his parents especially are encouraging him to divorce, and are even using threats to make him do as they say. I feel for my husband, as he grew up in a home where his parents NEVER told or showed love to him. He has never been told I love you from his parents while a child, and he grew up watching them live in a dysfunctional marriage full of lies, adultery, selfishness, etc. I know God has been listening to me. I know that He has heard my cries and prayers. I have faith that He will fix my marriage, and my husband. I have faith that He will answer my prayers. However, I have worry that my husband will choose to divorce me. Or that he will not seek God as I have asked him to, either thru prayer, fasting, reading the Bible. I'm afraid to lose my husband because I love him with all of my heart, and thru prayer and gettign closer to God, I have learned how to love him in better ways than I was in the past. I have learned how to deal with him a lot better because God has shown me the hurt that he is filled with. But still, I am deeply concerned that my marriage will end, and it's not what I want because I know it is not what God desires. I know that he hates divorce and the he never wishes for a couple to divorce, unless there is adultery, of which there has been none. I've prayed and prayed and prayed. Day in and day out. All night. Yet, I still find myself plagued with uneasiness, anxiety, doubt. If anyone can offer any type of advice, prayer, suggestion, Bible verses.. just anything that will help me to get thru this and not lose sight of God, not lose sight of hope, I would greatly appreciate it. I have no one that I can turn to because everyone is against my marriage. Everyone wants me to leave him, and it's something that I refuse to do. I apologize if this is rather long (I'm new).
  2. I am praying for God's guidance and peace.
  3. Hmmm...You're in a tough spot. I am assuming the domestic violence was against your person at this point-which means you AND your husband may need to be physically apart and need 'good' counseling. Are you active members of a Bible believing Church with a Pastor with a heart for the people? If so; seek him out immediately.

    It sounds like there are salvation issues in his parents side of the family. It also sounds like your husband needs to distance himself from his parents in this situation if they are giving him ungodly advice. It almost seems to me from what you describe that your husband is under spiritual attack torn between his wife and the rest of his family.

    I would not advise being alone with your husband, but you need time together to heal in a healthy environment. Surround yourselves with Bible believing Brothers and Sisters and work through this. You NEED fellowship in the body of Christ with much prayer, good counsel and meditation on the Word. The best thing the two of you can do is worship God together.
  4. So Sorry. Praying.

    Seems like the prayer and Scriptures which are part of your life need to be pusued together by both of you. (It's all about you guys, and your relationship with the Lord; it's not about negotiations with his parents — negotiate what?!.)

  5. Dirtyrottensinner: we are not. I've tried to get him to join church, but it isn't how he was raised, & was a battle i eventually gave up trying to win. I do forever agree with you. As far as the relationship with his parents, the only time we've ever not had issues was when he completely voided them out of his life. As for right now, they have him convinced that I'm evil & only out to hurt him & that if he continues to stay married, that they will disown him, & he won't be able to call them once our marriage fails, & according to them, they are certain it will fail. Those are words they have told my husband. & now he's afraid of even trying to fix/save our marriage. We are living apart, him living with his parents, who are under one roof, but divorced. However, i will look into trying to get him to attend a martial retreat or something of that nature.

    Farouk: i share all scriptures i read with him. Prayers as well. He's stated he's confused because his parents have told him our marriage will fail. I'm evil only out to destroy him & if he stays, they will not help or support him in anything. & i believe they have put a lot of fear in his heart that shouldn't be there.
  6. Get into a Good Church...(husband or not)

    My Pastor is very connected with Churches all over the USA, if you want to PM me I can see about getting a couple of names of churches near you...

  7. CeeCee27: He needs to quit getting 'moral advice' from that apparently unbelieving source, now that he is married to you.

  8. farouk: I have shared this with him, just a few moments ago. After I typed this reply, God placed it upon my heart to let him know that he cannot seek advice from those of the world who are not walking with Him. I believe he understood & took it well. He replied and said that he was "separating while he works on himself" and that he is "severing contact with me while he works on the changes he needs to make in life".
  9. ...and it sounds also that (as would be Scriptural) he needs to separate himself from his parents who are apparently giving him ungodly advice.

    You are the person he needs to work with, not primarily them.

    Philippians 2:5-11 and Hebrews 12:1-4 are good passages for people with short fuse problems to engage with.

  10. This somewhat concerns me as a husband and wife should 'cleave' to one another-for better or worse. Thou I do agree that you should not be 'alone' in this endeavor...
  11. farouk: I agree, and I told him that as well. He responded to me by saying that he "just doesnt feel I'm at the point that i have changed yet". I know that this is either the devil in his ear or something his parents have told him, because just the other night when he had our second meeting, he told me that he could see the change in me. I honestly think that he is within himself in a battle between the devil & God. He confessed to me that his hearts desire is to remain married to me the rest of his life, but once he is back at his parents' house, its a different story.

    Dirtyrottensinner: it concerns me as well, but I will continue to pray for the both of us and our marriage. I believe that his biggest fears are the ones that are put into his head daily by his parents, (who are divorced yet still live under the same roof) as well as the fear he has that our marriage will fail. I do believe that he prays for us, and our marriage. I just think that his "inner battles" are his primary focus right now. He does have a lot of issues that stem from his childhood that he has never dealt with or had to deal with, until we were married. Some I know, some I dont. But I know that they run deep & that part of healing is going to require him to face them. I have let him know that I am here for him no matter what & that I will not stop praying for him.
  12. CeeCee: Well, those who love and trust the Lord Jesus can know that He is continually devoted to them (Hebrews 7:25) and this is also a great model for husbands and wives to be continually devoted to each other.

    CeeCee27 likes this.
  13. CeeCee27: So keep daily praying and trusting, and feeding on the Word of God. It's the health your relationship with the Lord that matters most of all. Blessings.

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