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I need some help.....

Discussion in 'Evangelism' started by BountyHunter, Jan 12, 2015.

  1. My wife has a friend who has asked me to spend some time with her husband. They are having some big issues. He uses drugs and is abusive toward her. While I feel it is best for her to leave this situation she refuses because this is her marriage and she believes it would be a sin to leave him.

    He is not a Christian but he did attend our church 2 weeks ago and wants to come back. I believe that I am being called to help him but I have no idea where to start. Any advice in this area would be greatly appreciated. And prayer is always welcome.
  2. She is right. The Christian never leaves Mark 10:9. If there is sexual immorality however they leave us Matt 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

    The logic behind this is that there is always hope of a better tomorrow with Jesus in the picture. If he stays with her whilst she burns for Jesus, how is he not indirectly accepting Jesus on some level? If he hasn't committed adultery his heart hasn't moved on. Christians eager to divorce are selfish / trying to find their lives and will lose it Matt 16:25.

    The solution is to help him. NOT ever threaten to leave. What drugs does he use? Abuse mostly stems from losing respect for spouse. This happens mostly after there is actual marital unfaithfulness. Perhaps hire a PI?
  3. I don't believe unfaithfulness is a problem. They have only been married a few months. As for the drugs I don't know what kind as she hasn't told us. I need advise on how to approach him on this. I don't know where to start but feel I'm being led to witness to him.
  4. Wonderful advise... The logic behind this is that there is always hope of a better tomorrow with Jesus in the picture. What a wonderful line. The Bible truly can answer every question.
    Bill...may the Lord guide you on your quest to help the person in need.
  5. I wonder if drug use wasn't a problem for him before that she was aware of. Anyways, I would recommend they both just go for proper counseling by a qualified and respected elder at church. All newly married couples should have an elder to run to / have spent sessions with them prior to marriage.

    All you and I can really tell her is to put divorce out of her mind (for richer, poorer, bad times, good times, sickness, health unto death) and try focus on getting him help with the drugs.

    Any physical abuse though is an immediate temporary separation. No woman should sleep under the same roof as a guy that hurts her.
    Cturtle and Ravindran say Amen and like this.
  6. KingJ, I was planning on urging him to counseling but right now he isn't overly trusting of people. Normally him going to church just wouldn't happen so he is opening up to things and I pray that the Lord will continue to open up his heart. For now though I need to somehow gain his trust so I can guide him to the direction of a counselor.
    KingJ likes this.
  7. Why don't you invite them to your house? Let him see the fruits of your marriage.. Jesus called us to be light of the world.. We need to shine on others!
    Otherwise, I think you are doing all the right things.. And KingJ has some sound advice, as always :)
  8. Ravindran we are planning on having them over for lunch and to visit after church this Sunday. I'm praying he will learn from our example.
    Robine, JG27_chili and Ravindran says Amen and like this.
  9. Great idea. All it takes it to see what a truly fruitful marriage is like.
    God bless you.
  10. Or should I say all it could take. It's a funny thing the human heart, however God gave it to us so we must treat it with respect and be gentle with it.
    Hopefully everything works out okay.
  11. Well if anyone is interested I'll let you know how it goes this Sunday.
    Pathwalker likes this.
  12. Yes please let me know how it goes. (y)
  13. Your doing the right thing BountyHunter. make your words come across in love and understanding. Lift them up in encouragement and prayer. I'll be praying for them and you that the peace of Christ Jesus will touch them. Amen
    BountyHunter likes this.
  14. Well they cancelled out on us last night. Instead they decided to go out of town for the weekend just to get away from everything. I have not given up though, as I plan to invite them again for next Sunday after church. In the meantime I will keep praying for them.
  15. Well it seems my previous post was a bit premature. As we were getting ready to walk into the worship service the couple I have been talking about showed up, praise the Lord. Lunch went well but they did take off immediately after. It was a small start but it is a start.
    JG27_chili likes this.
  16. That's good news. A seed has been planted
  17. I agree @BountyHunter. Everything has a beginning...hopefully everything is sorted soon.
  18. What I would do if I was in your place to gain his trust; I would see about helping him do something like a home improvement or working on their vehicles, maybe getting him to help you with something like that. That's if you two are some what inclined in that sort of thing. I think if you are able to be alone with him in something other than a social type setting, or a setting with out any pressure he will feel more comfortable.

    There could be all sorts of reasons why he is using drugs and I could speculate extensively, but I don't think that would get us/you any help now. He probably won't want to be in a situation that last very long without being able to use what ever drug it is. That is probably why he/they didn't stay at your place very long.

    I would NOT bring up any issues with him that you know are happening; that would make him suspicious. At first, I'd just try to be friends, in time he may slowly open up to you.

    You mentioned he is abusive; is that physical or verbal?

    This is just my thoughts and feelings. Take them and filter them. Ultimately, you're there and know better than I.
  19. I agree with dumpster. Maybe there is something that the two of you have in common. Usually getting someone to talk in a non-threatening situation helps. Commit your plans to the Lord and He will cause your thoughts to kine up with His will, so shall your plans be established and succeed proverbs 16:3 amplified Bible.
    Thank You Father for giving Bounty Hunter the wisdom that he needs to witness to this young man. We all agree that You delight in seeing another of Your lost sheep come home, and be reconciled to You. I thank You for Your wonderful patience with us all not willing that any should perish. I also pray a hedge of protection and psalm 91 over them all. I thank You for keeping the wife safe, surrounding her with Your angels, so that no harm may befall her. In Jesus Name i pray, Amen
  20. The Best Start ever is just to be a friend. I mean build up some trust and just go as you feel lead. The Lord will give you words at just the right time.
    Pathwalker likes this.

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