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I need some advice please!!!

Discussion in 'New Members Welcome' started by Andrew, Jan 4, 2010.

  1. I need some advice please!!!

    Hello everyone, i'm not really a fan of the internet with all the un-safeness and all but i have been looking for a Christian site kinda like this for a while now. Anyways i'm new and i hope to fully contribute to this forum in the future but since i am here i might as well talk about some problems i'm going through. Ok here goes...

    I am 19 years old right now, i'm working and everything ever since I've graduated from high school in 2007. Now as troublesome as my life is already, even the fact that i'm a Christian something has happened to me and to tell the truth i'm still considering if i should post it but i trust you. 16 weeks ago i have failed considerably as a young Christian, and although i have gotten counselling and everything even from my pastor i'm still wondering if my relationship with God will ever be the same. I have gotten my girlfriend pregnant and yes i know your gonna say that how could that happen and i'm a Christian and everything but honestly i don't know how it happened, i guess the devil caught me at a time that i let my guard down, and was in a vulnerable state. This is more of a testimony than an advisable post i don't even know which forum to post it in. But anyways, when it happened it was the hardest thing i have ever tried to get through, she is a Christian as well and ever since i found out i told her that abortion was not even an issue, becuz i don't support the whole abortion issue.

    But honestly, when it happened to me, i tried to question why me? i tried every possible way to say that it happened to alot of persons, but then i told myself that not alot of persons are Christians. I was worried of what people are going to say, and especially since i'm a well known person. We were thinking to get married because she said she didn't wan't to have a child without being married, and i support her views, but i don't wanna get married just because she is pregnant because the whole purpose of marriage would be defeated, she said she would have done it if she wasn't pregnant anyways, and i love her enough to do it as well, but my family is saying we shouldn't do it and her family is saying that we should so i'm torn between the devil and the deep blue sea. Things are starting to settle now though, I've slipped many times, but i continue to pray and own up to my actions and i just want to encourage everyone to keep holding the faith, especially you men. I'm just worried about when that baby does come, i have done every research possible, and i am trying my best to make her feel comfortable and know that i love her more than anything in this world i don't care what people have to say, but i need some advice please, i know that in the longrun the decision is up to me but anything you have to say would be appreciated, God bless you.:smiley90:[/I][/I][/I][/SIZE][/SIZE][/B]
  2. I didn't know where to post this so i hope its in the right forum lol
  3. To begin with pray. Repent for the mistake but don't dwell on it. Focus on the future what needs to be done.
  4. A few questions, if you don't mind. Why does your family say not to get married? Do you have sufficient income to support a family? If you love each other, how does marrying now that she is pregnant defeat the whole purpose of marriage?

    I would normally encourage getting married in a case like this, but I don't really know you or her personally, nor do I have an in-depth knowledge of all the circumstances so I'm being somewhat less than adamant.

    This is not a life-ending or faith-destroying situation. Naturally, there will be difficulties as a consequence of rash decisions, but it is possible to repent of your sin and go on to learn, mature, and grow in Christ and in marriage. So you made some mistakes - you can't undo that - but don't allow Satan to leverage your mistakes to hamper you in your relationship to God and in doing the right things. I hope that both families can be supportive of you and her and that your church can also give wise counsel and support. You can't undo what you did, but you can go on from this point and make decisions and live a life that will glorify God. You can learn to be a Godly husband and father. The fact that this girl apparently loves you and is willing to marry you are positive things as well. May God grant you wisdom in your decisions and success in your efforts to serve and obey Him.
  5. Dear Andrew .

    Thank you for being so open and telling us about this situation . But you know what ? It is not the end of the world and ultimately it is up to the two of you to make the decision about marriage . We cannot really advise you but we can pray for you which of course I will do .

    You and your girlfiend need Christians at this time that support you and will pray for you . Not people who look down at you for this mistake . Actually it is not a mistake as God knows and sees all so please do not have this baby letting him or her know that it was a mistake .

    I will tell you of an example in my own family . My niece and her now husband were only 17 and both of them were still in high school at the time . They did decide to get married ( they are both Christians ) and went on to have another child . Now they have a grown son and daughter and are now grand parents of a little girl . God works things out as you put your faith and trust in Him and try to ignore all the rude comments from people. Like I said you need to ask direction from God and as you do , He will direct your paths. You and your girlfriend need to pray together to find God's will and when you do He will help the both of you to work it out.

    If that isn't enough one of our pastor's daughter also became pregnant and if you don't think that was looked down by the congregation and people talking because it was the pastor 's Daughter . Our pastor had the two of them come before the congregation and tell every one how sorry they were supported by the two sets of parents . These two did not marry but share the responsibility of raising this baby so like I said it is really what God wants you to do .
  6. Hey. We all make mistakes. We all sin. WE aren't better than you. We never will be. God loves us...even if we are filthy sinners.

    But I do have to comment on something that you did say, and I hope you do not take it the wrong way.
    We aren't here to judge. Seriously, what makes US better? Don't we sin as well? Don't we mess up all the time? We make some big mistakes. But sin...each sin has a consequence. For Adam and Eve, God gave consequences to their first sin. Gen 3:17-19
    ^I think you do know how it happened. You decided to have sex. And this time, your gf became pregnant.

    But guess what? God STILL loves you. God is STILL proud of you. Did you break his heart? Yup. Did you make God cry? Most likely. But all sin does that. ALL SIN. Sin separates us from God. WE cannot hear from God if we have so much stinkin' sin in our lives and if we aren't repenting. Isaiah 59:1-2

    As of right now, like Dusty said, you need Christians who won't judge you. I know that many Christians are guilty of that. I used to be one of them. If you knew me a year ago, I would be looking down and thinking I'm better. But I'm NOT. Because I'm a sinner as well!

    When you feel yourself drifting away from God, it's time to pick up a Bible and read it and spend some time with God. Not just for a few days. You need to make an effort to read it EVERYDAY. Because if we don't, then we'll still be drifting away from Him. And God doesn't want that. He wants to be a part of you!
  7. Andrew, you have gotten some great advice here and I hope you'll take it. The two of you should pray together and let the Lord guide you as to what you should do. You've mentioned love, which is what it takes for a marriage to work...the Lord, love, patience, kindness, communication, compromise, etc.

    As for people judging you, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. We all (every single one of us fall short of the glory of God).

    I pray that the Lord will guide each of you as to His will.

    There is something that I would like to share with you: my husband had three older sisters. He was born 10 years after the last daughter. His parents were in their forties. We were having dinner with them one night and I told my sweet Mother-In-Law (whose with the Lord now) that I was exremely happy that she had that lil accident (my hubby). I'l never forget, she so sweetly looked at my husband and said "oh no, he wasn't an accident, he was a pleasant surprise". My husband just beamed and I thought this was such a sweet response. Please, never, ever let your child hear you, your wife or anyone call him/her a mistake or an accident. I think "a pleasant surprise" was the perfect explanation.

    You see, once you've repented the sin, all that is left to do is to love and take care of this precious gift you're about to receive.

    Stay in prayer with your girlfriend and the Lord wil guide you.

    Many blessings to you,

  8. I totally agree with ILOVEUSA. Don't let your child know that they were a mistake. God created that baby. And God, well, he doesn't MAKE mistakes.
  9. thank you all for your advice, wow i feel really good reading them and i really and sincerely appreciate them, God Bless you all: xspinningisfun, ILOVEUSA, Dusty, Rumely, and adonaicole, i will take everything you say into consideration and i have faith that everything will work out, Dusty thank you for that example you gave me i really appreciate it :)
  10. hi m8 welcome to the forum.the deed has been done as they say.
    put it behind you talk to our lord.
    big decisions ahead though.
    and a beutiful baby to consider.
    babies have a devastating effect on relationships,being so very young.my advice take small steps.
    as jesus said take 1 day at at time,don,t get worried,i,m sure your families will help big time.
  11. Memo for Andrew -

    Once you have several more postings to your credit, the line under your name will show "Full Member". Once that takes place, we will move this thread that you started into an area for Full Members only, so it can be archived and further discussed in a more private venue.

    Thank you and God bless.

    Pastor Gary

    Moderator and
    Staff Trainer

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