I've been a full blown lawyer, in the spiritual sense, a hypocrite, a sinner in rebellion, mostly blind, and very weak in the flesh. I have been a so called Christian for a long time, but as I started to examine what faith is, I find it's something I really struggle with. Nothing new, I guess for most Christians. My faith is not fluid. It isn't smooth. It's on, then off, then on, off, etc... I think it does this because my perception of reality, or my eyesight, is bad. Jesus said if your eye is good, your body is full of light. If your eye is bad, how dark is that light in your body! So, I consider myself someone who was born spiritually blind. I can't see very well now. I'm kind of like a several of the people in the bible.... first, the dad of the boy who had seizures, and the dad said to Jesus, "I believe - help my unbelief!". Second I'm like the boy who was born blind in John 9. Third, I'm like the man who regained his sight but couldn't make out the trees, he needed extra attention from Jesus to help him see completely. Of course I'm talking about eyes of faith. The confidence of things hoped for, the substance of things not seen. Believing that God is, and is a rewarder of those who seek him. I wonder how common these struggles are? Right now I'm really feeling the need to have Jesus as my friend - someone who is in complete control, but doesn't judge me, just wants to listen and help me, taking our time so I heal. Jesus says to clean the inside of the cup first, not the outside first like the Pharisees did, like I have tried to do, honestly enough. So if repentance is changing your view on who God is, and I can confess my sins to God thru Jesus, I am definitely confessing my sins. The change of heart about God is a harder thing to change. I learned to believe today that the church and its members is the hands and feet of Christ's body and that I need to interact with believers. So that's part of what I'm doing right now. I need your feedback, your encouragement, and for you to share with me your struggles with faith also.