I do not feel close to God in church. To me, it is a waste of time. I feel close to God when I pray alone to him. When I pray to Him, I feel like we are having a conversation. But when I am in church, I feel annoyed and basically...just in a gigantic room of people. I know it sounds like a bad thing that I don't like church...but isn't it true that some people prefer to have a close and private relationship with God? Is there something wrong with me? My mom says its "evil" that I don't like church. I told her everything I said here, and she said I sound evil. Those words hurt. Am I evil? I have tried listening to everything our pastor says, I listen intently, I do. I don't just sit there staring off into space. I try, I really do! But no matter what, church just feels like an hour-long lecture.