Headstones

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Dusty, May 6, 2008.

  1. Headstones

    [SIZE=+1]Headstones" [/SIZE]



    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
    Born 1903-Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
    It was.


    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up And no place to go.


    In a London, England cemetery:
    Here lies Ann Mann,
    Who lived an old maid
    But died an old Mann.


    In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
    Anna Wallace
    The children of Israel wanted bread,
    And the Lord sent them manna.
    Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
    And the Devil sent him Anna.


    In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
    Here lies Johnny Yeast.
    Pardon me For not rising.


    In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
    Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
    Stepped on the gas
    Instead of the brake.


    In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
    Here lays The Kid.
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger
    But slow on the draw.


    A lawyer's epitaph in England:
    Sir John Strange.
    Here lies an honest lawyer,
    And that is Strange.


    John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
    Reader, if cash thou art
    In want of any,
    Dig 6 feet deep;
    And thou wilt find a Penny.


    In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
    On the 22nd of June,
    Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.


    On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
    Under the sod and under the trees,
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod.
    Pease shelled out and went to God.


    In a cemetery in England:
    Remember man, as you walk by,
    As you are now, so once was I.
    As I am now, you soon will be.
    Prepare yourself and follow me.
    To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
    To follow you I'll not consent
    Until I know which way you went


    From Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
    Here lies Lester Moore
    One slug from a 44
    No Les
    No More






     
  2. Those are great Mom! I especially like these 2:
    On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
    Under the sod and under the trees,
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod.
    Pease shelled out and went to God.


    In a cemetery in England:
    Remember man, as you walk by,
    As you are now, so once was I.
    As I am now, you soon will be.
    Prepare yourself and follow me.
    To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
    To follow you I'll not consent
    Until I know which way you went
     
  3. I really like the honest lawyer one! :D
     

Share This Page