Funerals and comfort

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by JohnC, Oct 20, 2017.

  1. Sorry guys.. I have to get this rant off my chest....

    I went to the funeral of a coworker today. He died suddenly in a tragic accident in his house. Leaves behind kids, grand kids, his mom, etc....

    At the funeral service.... The man giving the service basically used it as an opportunity to preach at the crowd. I don't remember a single mention of the man or his loved ones... No attempt to comfort the family and express how deeply this man loved them... No words to help strengthen his sons through this time... No words to help them through this time....

    When did we get so cold? When did we forget to comfort the mother? The widow? The sons and daughters? To express our sympathy acknowledging the pain of those left behind.. To extend a hand or a warm shoulder to those who need it...
  2. I'm so sorry that this happened. And I totally appreciate you wanting to talk about this.

    The man giving the service was clearly the wrong man, who had his own agenda, and neglected to consider all those affected by the death of a loved one.

    I pray for all the family and friends of the deceased. And for the person who gave the service, that they may learn, that not only is it important to speak of God, but also to remember the people who are left behind when a loved one passes.

    The one who has passed does not need our help anymore. The one's left behind, as you say, need comfort and sympathy.

    Annie xxx
  3. Ya know as I read the op... it seems to me that there are a lot of facts missing. For one, he cannot remember any good things being spoken.... could it be that because he was offended by the service that all the other good stuff has been blocked from his memory for the moment?

    The other thing is no one has any idea about the family's wishes. Maybe they asked for a salvation message to be preached. Where is that possibility in this rant?

    When my brother transitioned to heaven my parents asked the pastor to preach a salvation message because of the friends my brother had, and that was what was most important to my father... planting some seeds for those who were not saved.

    So without all of the facts.... how can one accurately assess the situation and say that it is the pastors fault or that He was cold hearted? Our pastors are #1 under attack by the enemy, and #2 in all reality under a mandate by The Father to preach what He wants said and not what always pleases the people.

    Romans 14:4 says....Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

    It's not our job to judge The Fathers servants, who are put here as gifts to us... its our job to pray for them to be obedient to preach what The Holy Spirit says and leave the consequences up to The Father.
    Fish Catcher Jim likes this.
  4. Offended by the service? No. more disappointed by the lack of love shown by the church.

    It made me sad to see that there was no love, compassion, or sympathy offered to these hurting people...

    That is sure to leave an impression on them... Most likely not the one we want.
  5. What is it you feel they missed and how do think they could have done better?

    First it was the man doing the service
    Now it's the church.

    Cturtle likes this.
  6. Exactly and let the family, loved ones and friends do this.

    Is it the Pastors job to please the family or God?
    Afrika4Jesus and Cturtle say Amen and like this.
  7. This...

    After talking with a couple pastor friends - it turns out that this sort of mess often happens at the request of the family....


    Should the pastor listen to the prominent churchgoer Grandmother who wants to preach a hard sermon to her unchurched grandkids and friends...

    Or should he do what he knows is the right thing - offer comfort and support to those kids/family/friends...... Knowing that "coming along side" may open a dialogue with some of them.... Perhaps they need some counseling or a way to make sense of it all... And the compassion and caring opens the door....
    Annie likes this.
  8. Hi John,
    I would say the one who arranges the service and puts out the cash has all the right in this world to have it done what ever way they wish.

    You feel the church should do things a certain way.
    Why is this?

    Doing the right thing would fall under what the Father directs them to do.

    Again it's the families and friends responsibility to comfort not to mention a born again person should seek their comfort from the Father.

    What I read is you personally did not like the service because it went another way then you felt it should.

    Why is this? I mean why does this bother you?

    I would rather see a Pastor speak Gods truth over a bunch of mumble jumble trying to make others feel better .

    Example.. Joe smo died and lived a life style opposed to God's word.

    Pastor comforts the people by saying, well we don't know why God took Joe so early in his life but Joe is in a much better place now.

    That's just a huge lie.
    Joe was not saved.
    God did not take him
    Joe is not with God.

    So why deceive the people ?

    If it's a Christian then they are with God and they would not come back if they had the chance.

    So a pastor speaks the truth and family and friends can speak about whomever.

    I know the death of a friend can be hard for a time, but why allow how others handled things upset you to the point you need to rant?

    That's just adding strife to your life brother and that's not a good thing.

    My heart goes out to you in this time and pray you find some peace.
    God Bless
    Cturtle likes this.

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