Finding God's plan for me I thank whoever would take the time to provide advice. It's not my intention to waste anyone's time if I didn't think it was necessary. I wish to first provide some background simply for my question to make proper sense. I never had any serious exposure to christianity or seriously considered christianity in any way until a few years ago. Almost everyone around me in my childhood remarked that I was silent and cried too much, and, everyone around me in my youth remarked that I took everything too seriously. Many of the common things in life seemed silly or immature to me. I've never had a girlfriend or kissed anyone, or felt very motivated to interact with anyone besides my parents. Throughout high school I could have been described as withdrawn and self centered. My most enthusiastic daily efforts in high school were spent asking my self the common and eternal questions of mortality, with pages of notes detailing my own thoughts. Long story short, I received enough exposure since graduating high school from the internet, and other sources, to realize that the social doubts I had felt had been felt a million times before, that the feelings I had, which I felt I needed to keep hidden, had already been systematically explored, and I wish to say that the beauty of christ's path can only be truly felt by those who have never seen it. To catch up with the present day and my questions, I am in my senior year of getting a BSBA in accounting. When I had graduated high school, going to college -- or even leaving my room -- didn't make any sense to me. There's no need to discuss the internal turmoil of this transition, but within my first year at college I found that not only did life have meaning, but that I should actively be searching for how I should follow christ's example. Already for a few years now, it has been my plan to join the US army audit agency after graduating with my bachelor's degree or perhaps master's, locate myself with the army in korea a few years later when I qualified, and give salary, inheritances, and anything more than what a friar would keep to the korean people. This has been a convenient plan to keep me going through the years at college, but I am at the point where I am making serious commitments of future employment to the army audit agency. I feel a person's line of work may be the most important decision they make and it's a decision I don't feel like I can share with anyone in the way that I would want to. I recently made a painful and outbursting admission of this plan to a korean friend of mine, looking for answers to questions that I should not ask of them, expect them to know, or that they would even want to hear from me. It is in my interest and the interest of those around me to find a proper channel to receive answers. Right when this plan is coming to fruition, I feel doubts about its validity. PROS As a federal agency, I see it as a public service that shouldn't be left to those motivated by wages or benefits. I feel the beginning of the end is when the army is a place filled with people without conviction, passion, or moral guidance. It is one of the few positions that allows a person to provide direct benefits to impoverished areas while fully utilizing a professional degree since most of the army's conflicts take place in developing countries. CONS I am often torn over what christ would say of an army's purpose and mission. I take some inspiration from early monastic and crusading orders and perhaps I do so wrongly. I would travel there for peace, personal sacrifice, and closeness to christ, not for war and killing or imposing a nation's will. However, it is a subject I'm still not certain about. I'm not certain if Christ would ever go through college at all. I'm torn on whether, even if he did have a degree, if he would simply be doing volunteer work in the truly impoverished sections of africa. There are two attractive alternatives to the plan I have now which I have a hard time ruling out. There are auditors who travel to places like china to audit McDonald's chains and other international corporations. This job would likely have a higher salary which could be given to an even more impoverished population in which christ's word is very foreign. The cloistering of an army base is appealing to me but there may be more glory in maintaining virtue without it. Assuring the operations of korea's army is a job with true purpose that auditing McDonald's chains could never match but perhaps christ would choose the job at McDonald's. Although I feel no bond to any one person or place besides christ in heaven, there is nothing to say that I might not stay locally, take advantage of the places and routines I am already familiar with, do CPA work at a local firm, and send the funds to whatever charity I wish. It certainly seems like the humble alternative compared to all this international flying around. It may even pay the same amount as the army auditing position. I will monitor this post and continue the discussion. Thank you for any commentary. I do indeed wish to hear this from people with an understanding of christ. Almost anyone would have more experience on the subject than I have.