Should career, education and money play a part in choosing a spouse? I have a degree with a "professional" job but the guy I'm interested in doesn't have a degree and professional job yet but we make about the same amount of money. He's also 5 yrs younger. My mother thinks he someone for me to just have as a friend since he's not where I'm at yet. Thoughts?
Dating down
- Thread starter Monet
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A point to ponder;.....If you met a suitor ...oh....say a physician...who did not believe in Christ, neither practice life guided by Christian values.....but who exceeded your education values standard..... would that be more socially equitable ...in your analysis?
Study KJV 1611 Bible and you will find the answers ...if guidance is indicated.
Study KJV 1611 Bible and you will find the answers ...if guidance is indicated.
Monet a education is nice thing to have. But at same time it doesn’t bring you love and happiness. Actually the edifice of education was once to better society. Now it be more about the size of ones salary cap these days. My thoughts the age difference not so much a problem at least from my cultural perspective the difference can be 5 fold that. But secondly before the Christian faith. Does he make you happy. Will he be there every new day to greet the new morning with you and every evening to tuck you into bed. 
Both parties in a couple must be equals by whatever metric you use to measure equality. If they are not then eventually you will have problems.
What do you mean 'he is not where I'm at yet.'
Will you be able to sincerely say the traditional wedding vows?
Marriage is a wonderful thing if it is in Christ.
Marriage is at best a convenient thing if it is just a contract.
I don't see social status as being a scriptural requirement. In fact, it is the Christian lot to encounter trials and troubles for the profecting of the Saints. Not suggesting we ought to look for trouble but in a good marriage we can encourage one another as we press on rejoicing in the glorious light keeping our eyes on Him. If you both have christian values and you love each other then marriage seems to be a reasonable step.
Will you be able to sincerely say the traditional wedding vows?
Marriage is a wonderful thing if it is in Christ.
Marriage is at best a convenient thing if it is just a contract.
I don't see social status as being a scriptural requirement. In fact, it is the Christian lot to encounter trials and troubles for the profecting of the Saints. Not suggesting we ought to look for trouble but in a good marriage we can encourage one another as we press on rejoicing in the glorious light keeping our eyes on Him. If you both have christian values and you love each other then marriage seems to be a reasonable step.
Are you both born again christians that's the question.
Of course when someone is younger than you they wouldn't have graduated at the same time or been employed for as long. Money is not always guaranteed...professional jobs don't always pay well depending on what kind of professional you are.
But who marries their birthday twin? I'm curious if anyone's ever done that.
Of course when someone is younger than you they wouldn't have graduated at the same time or been employed for as long. Money is not always guaranteed...professional jobs don't always pay well depending on what kind of professional you are.
But who marries their birthday twin? I'm curious if anyone's ever done that.
Not my twin, but, if you add the birth month and day of our 1st born and the month and day of our 2nd child it equals the month and day of our 3rd child.
I happen to have high dating expectations for myself, but being that both the men I have loved in life passed on I better.
My mind, heart, and spiritual soul set all play factors in what I decide is an acceptable suitor.
However, the heart wants what the heart wants. Love is always love
My mind, heart, and spiritual soul set all play factors in what I decide is an acceptable suitor.
However, the heart wants what the heart wants. Love is always love
Hello 2404;
I had to laugh at your post where I blue-lighted, "What do you mean 'he is not where I'm at yet." lol!
When my wife (then fiancé) and I held each other and gazed in each other's eyes, I saw a future housemaid and she saw a guy with money. When we got married I found out she doesn't clean the house and she found out I didn't have any money. lol!
It was our late 20s when we grew in our education, career, financial stability but most of all our faith growth in Christ who carried us daily. We scraped to get by, failed in some of our college classes, relocated to another city, changed jobs and argued about petty things.
I agree with your post, especially getting past the trials in marriage. This June will be 38 years marriage since we said, I do, not "do I?"
God bless you, brother, and thank you for sharing what seems to me your hard knocks experience and good faith.
Hello Monet;
Pleases listen to your mother's wisdom and nurture the friendship, first, with this gentleman. Since he is 5 years younger than you, you're both young and have your whole lives in front of you to grow in your education, career and financial stability, but most of all your seeking more in Christ to grow you in all the secondary things.
God bless you, Monet, and we'll keep you in our prayers.
Your mother has an advantage we don’t, she knows you and has met him. Consider her opinion carefully.
Amen.
This is especially true in your spiritual life because this is what will sustain you. You will grow towards God together, or grow apart alone. God forbid.
Also true, but pray the good Lord guards your heart and guides your actions.
This makes it reasonable to consider marriage. But prayer and patience are reasonable steps in this decision. You’ll have a lifetime to celebrate, or a lifetime to regret.
This is crucial. How is he, how is the relationship, when things DON’T go right. This is the true test. Does he reassure you, comfort you, and when there is a misunderstanding is it more important to him make peace with you than to win? In other words, is your happiness worthy of a sacrifice on his part?
God Bless and guide you Monet.
Have you ever been to a wedding where someone suddenly changes their mind and says 'I don't know?'
Sorry am not being much help. You've shared what your mother thinks but what about your dad? Isn't he the one who's supposed to 'give you away'?
I used to think my dad wouldn't have cared if I had left home and had someone else to live with, one less mouth to feed....But he doesn't seem to mind having me around. Of course he tried to chuck me out several times but there is really nowhere else to go in suburbia except schools and public libraries lol.
Sorry am not being much help. You've shared what your mother thinks but what about your dad? Isn't he the one who's supposed to 'give you away'?
I used to think my dad wouldn't have cared if I had left home and had someone else to live with, one less mouth to feed....But he doesn't seem to mind having me around. Of course he tried to chuck me out several times but there is really nowhere else to go in suburbia except schools and public libraries lol.
My sister used to go the mall all the time but...I didn't really like the mall. There's only good if you have spending money. She studied for a marketing degree. I still don't care about brands but her whole life is involved with helping people spend money.
But as far as career and education go. If you both went to school together you would probably know each other better but if you five years ahead things might have changed, but you might find yourself in the position of teaching someone who's younger. I know teachers who marry teachers (and work in the same school) and business owners who go into business together, accountants who both married and work at different schools, though librarians don't tend to marry librarians. Doctors also marry each other and set up their joint practises and its not unheard of with lawyers to do the same thing. I suppose it depends do you really want to work together or be apart or just do your own things yet live in the same house?
My own parents never worked together they both did their own jobs and never swapped or shared roles. Theres only one year difference between them. They didn't have professional jobs but back then children left school at 14 and never went to high school.
Some of my aunties and uncles worked together and owned businesses together.
But as far as career and education go. If you both went to school together you would probably know each other better but if you five years ahead things might have changed, but you might find yourself in the position of teaching someone who's younger. I know teachers who marry teachers (and work in the same school) and business owners who go into business together, accountants who both married and work at different schools, though librarians don't tend to marry librarians. Doctors also marry each other and set up their joint practises and its not unheard of with lawyers to do the same thing. I suppose it depends do you really want to work together or be apart or just do your own things yet live in the same house?
My own parents never worked together they both did their own jobs and never swapped or shared roles. Theres only one year difference between them. They didn't have professional jobs but back then children left school at 14 and never went to high school.
Some of my aunties and uncles worked together and owned businesses together.
I personally don't care that much about things like that, my main concern is his character and godliness.
Yes, from what I'm seeing he appears to be a true man of God. Morals, values, etc and yes we very much like each other.
Yes we are
My mother has never met him. She basically wants me with a good guy with money.
He just wants me with a true Christian man, he's not or not as concerned with the superficial stuff.
For some reason, Isaac/Rebekah and Jacob/(Leah/Rachel) come to mind.
Does your mother care about money because...she never really had any herself or did not have a job? She came from poverty?
I would think you would not have to worry about money seeing as you have the ability to earn your own. Whether or not thats enough for two or to raise a family (if one of you doesn't work) is another matter but something you would both have to figure out.
If you don't already have land and a house to live in (i.e an inheritance) reality is you will have to somehow buy it with money (if you want a house to live in) or pay rent - which can only be paid for with...money.
I would think you would not have to worry about money seeing as you have the ability to earn your own. Whether or not thats enough for two or to raise a family (if one of you doesn't work) is another matter but something you would both have to figure out.
If you don't already have land and a house to live in (i.e an inheritance) reality is you will have to somehow buy it with money (if you want a house to live in) or pay rent - which can only be paid for with...money.