Confused and lost about my gf

Discussion in 'College and Youth' started by joekim, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. Confused and lost about my gf

    hi I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I hope someone can help and pray for me.

    My girlfriend and I have been dating since highschool and we love each other very much. Unfortunately we went to different colleges in different cities in September, but we promised each other that we would love each other and that our faith in God would keep us together.

    I recently went to visit her at her school, and I guess she was suprised to see me, but we decided to go grab a bite to eat. When she was in the bathroom getting ready, I sorta started looking around her room. I know I should have respected her privacy, but I'm not sure why I did it.

    But In her drawer I found a box of condoms. When I asks her about it, she hesitated a bit and then said that they were just giving them out at school. And then she got upset because i was looking through her things. I didn't want to make matters worse so I didn't say anyhing else, and we went for dinner.

    But the prblem is that I don't think they give a whole box of condoms at school, and also the box was half empty. I also noticed some short skirts and provocative clothes in her closet too.

    guess I am just scared and confused about the whole situation and I don't know what to do . I have been praying abot it but so far I don't have ananswer. I was wondering if someone can help me with advce or pray for me.

    Thank you. In god
    joe kim
  2. I don't understand how women work, lol, so I can't really say much, but in some schools, they do give out condoms ect.
  3. No one can say for sure but that certainly does not look good.The sexy clothes and the condoms do not sound like a good combo. You and her need to have a real sit down talk and get everything out in the open. I wish I could tell you more I will be praying for you both.
  4. Joe, I know you are hurting and I will keep you in prayer.
    I would have to agree with Boanerges this sounds like a good time to sit down and have a complete open dialogue. Sometimes the world has a way of getting a hold of us. I truly hate saying this, but my heart tells me that she may be seeking other interests. Also that her faithfulness to God has been put on the back burner.
    I will be praying for both of you
  5. Joe,

    Let me speak from experience. When I look back at all my past dating experiences, I was what one would called the Top Snoop Dog queen.
    It was a bad trait , a sin that I kept falling prey to. Through therapy and spiritual guidance what I have learned was I did not have trust. It was not so much the guys that I did not trust, it was the Lord that I did not trust.
    I have just most recently come to this great revelation! Yes at the age of 45 soon to be 46. My Pastor shared with me to find scripture for dealing with all of this.

    So it was Proverbs 3:5-6 : Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge him in all ways and he will make your paths straight.

    I will agree with the others, it does not look good, nor sound good.
    Communication is the key to any relationship, especially our relationship with God. For many things I found, I wanted to believe in my heart that it was Satan putting things there to fool me. I allowed myself to be in denial of so many things in relationships especially an alchohlic relationship I was in, in love with a man who loved a bottle more than me.

    There has to be trust and honesty in a relationship. When two people do not have this, the relationship is not healthy. Does it hurt, to know someone may be on a different path in the relationship, than I.. you betcha ya. Is it easy to confront and talk openly with the one you love, No, is it possible yes.

    God does not want us to live in confusion, distrust and all of the other crazy emotional things. God wants us to live in peace. Always remember we cannot change another person, we cannot heal another person, we cannot make them be like us, we cannot make them have faith like us, all we can do is to change our hearts. Only we can make sure our walk is Christ like.

    Sex is a downfall of so many people. Believe you me, I know first hand. They do hand out condoms at some schools. They do give education about STD"s. But what is really hard, is so many schools and places are taking God out schools , so the message of abstinence and living God's way according to the bible is lost. Also, I would like to add, that Condoms may prevent one from becoming pregnant, but they will not protect one from contracting an STD, but Abstinence will.

    It is important to realize that God does have a plan for us, all of us. We just need to look to him, be still and listen to what he is telling us. We need to trust God. We sometimes do not know why we did what we did.. ie.. you looking in the drawer. But I can tell you, pray, have faith in God, trust in him, seek your answers from him.

    I will be praying for you and your girlfriend.

  6. Hello,

    Thank you all for replying.

    I guess i'm just not sure what to say to her. I dont' want to openly accuse her doing these bad things i think she may be doing, without knowing for sure that there isn't a reasonable explanation for all these things.

    It's just hard for me to accept that a strong christian like her would be doing something like that, especially since she was the one who led me to Christ in the first place.

    I just pray there is a way to know for sure.
  7. We are all sinners. Yes even the strong Christian is a sinner.
    I have been where you are with someone being a strong Christian and loving the one who brought me closer to Christ.. and then not really sure of some things I suspected.

    As a wise person told me, Do not lean on your own understanding, Trust in the Lord.. talk to God.. ask him what you should do and say... you will be amazed at how he will answer you.

  8. Hey,
    I think i have good news after all,
    She called me to say that she wanted to explain about the box of condoms. She said that they weren't hers; it was her roomate's. She was just hiding them in her drawer because her parents were coming to visit and she didn't want them to find it, and the clothes we her's too.
    I guess i overreacted; I'm just glad that all this was just a case of me acting stupid.
    Thank you for your help and prayers.
    In Christ,
  9. Again trust in the Lord.. look to him at all times. Sometimes things happen to test our faith and trust. My old untrusting ways would at first say.. whoaa.. why would she not have told you that before when you first asked her. I think this is a good situation to talk to her about your communication and honesty. That it is so much easier to be honest about things right up front, then this way our minds don't have to wander.

    Remember God knows our path. He has it all in his book. Keep listening and following him. Keep being the "A" student in all aspects of your life, especially your walk with the Lord.

    take care
  10. I don't know what to do anymore. If she is lying, does that mean that she is cheating then? Do you guys really think that the condoms are hers and that she is cheating? I mean, how is that possible, she is such a good girl with a strong heart in Christ, and she loves me, it is very hard for me to believe it.

    For Valentine's day, I told her I am going to come visit her, but she said that she has a lot of homework to do. But when I called her, her roomate said she wasn't home. Do you think something is going on?

    I dont know, I'm so confused. I just wish everything was the way it used to be.

    Is there another explanation for all those things I found in her room?
  11. Alot of homework to do and then not there. Hmm, could be a coincidence but I do not know. I would be at the very least suspicious but perhaps that is just me.

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