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Confused And Disappointed

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by tomeka.ridley, Aug 14, 2014.

  1. To those of you who knew of me posting 'Five Things I'm Grateful For Today', I've been feeling depressed lately. A month ago I miscarried at 10 weeks into the pregnancy. The ultrasound at that time revealed a pregnancy that stopped growing at 4 weeks, which is too far behind. I thought my prayer was answered when a yolk sac developed but then heavy menstration type bleeding occurred 1-2 days later and lasted for 5 days. I guess my faith was too weak to hold it since I made a move to take another bHCG test on the same day of the last ultrasound which still showed a dramatic drop. Lab results were inconclusive because they were unable to find the sac to determine what caused the miscarriage. All the tissue was me. A mysterious and sad phenomenon. Guess it just dissentigrated(disolved). I wonder why God didn't bless me with this baby. Hope I didn't commit an unforgiveable sin.
  2. I don't think you did. I've been very depressed recently, too. I have thoughts that God doesn't love me or that I'll never have any confidence in myself. Basically that I'm hopeless and on my way to hell.

    But I'm sure God knows what he is doing.
  3. Not at all. We lost a twin and when we went to get my wife checked out and cleaned out there was a heart beat - we didn't know we had twins. Things happen, it doesn't mean YOU did anything wrong and it also doesn't mean God didn't act on your behalf. There are mysteries that will never be understood while on this planet. You just keep praising God and thanking Him. You just don't know. Take comfort in that He is in control.

    Now, I too have been depressed in the past and I really wrestled with it, until I took on the word of God as truth and who I am in Christ. I was too busy focusing on me and my problems instead of focusing on Jesus. I wasn't taking captive the thoughts, 2 Cor 10:5, and buried feelings deep inside me, Prov 18:8. You have all the faith you're ever going to have, Romans 12:3. What we need is wisdom, James 1:5. Wisdom is not knowledge - there's lots of that floating around. Wisdom is knowing how to apply the knowledge we have to affect our lives. So we need wisdom to know how to apply the faith we have been given. We must reject all the negative feelings, Rom 6:6, we store in our bodies and renew our minds, Rom 12:2, to think God's way, Phil 4:8. We all wrestle with this, Rom 7:24, just like Paul did, but thank God with our MINDS we serve God, Rom 7:25.

    Tomeka: now is the time to send away (the actual meaning of forgive) the feelings you have the what you suffered and replace them with thoughts that your child is in heaven enjoying life. It won't be easy, just don't do what Job did and blame God, Job 1:21, where in the end he repented of this wrong, Job 42:5.

    Know God and Who He is and hold onto this:

    Romans 8:32 (KJV)
    He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

    *HUGS* :cry:
    God is Love likes this.
  4. No God did not punish you.

    He just said it was not time yet.
  5. Ignore my previous post. God has restored me and I will pray for you.

    I hope Jesus shows you how much he loves you and that you in return are obsessed with him! :)
  6. firstly, you are a born again Christian, right?

    if so, have you voice your confusion and hurt to Him?

    He is your father, it is ok to ask Him why

    but after you voice what you have to say, then it maybe a good idea to spend sometime in His word to see what He have to say.

    and if you have any sins, all you have is confess and repent in the name of Jesus Christ, and God is faithful, He will forgive you

    but God is good, you have hold on to that even when it doesn't seem that way.

    hope it helps.
  7. Before you go judging other people for their misfortune you should ask yourself, 'Are You Saved?' Now I really know how Job must have felt by his friends' critisms and little support. And most of the people responding to this post are men any how. They have little experience on what a woman feels and goes through.
  8. I'm sorry you feel that way. As men we can only empathize at best and console at worst. I do pray you find what you're looking for. God Bless.
  9. I am sorry if my comment somehow came across as judgmental, that was not my intention....

    you are right, as a man who's yet to become a father, I cant put myself in your shoes 100%, but God can, so hopefully, He will comfort you in this difficult time.
  10. That's okay. Actually your reply was more comforting than most on this post. Mainly because you wrote from experience. At the the same time though you were rescued from the emotional pain of total loss by the discovery of twins. I wasn't and felt discouraged about it. Still I'll view your reply with good intentions and not be so sensitive.
    Abdicate likes this.
  11. Thank you . It isn't easy. I have my daughter, but my son is in heaven. We had a friend of ours who lost 3 in miscarriages. My wife told her she'd have two children more, a girl and a boy, and no more miscarriages, and it happen. Both were born and today and she never miscarried again. She repeats the story to any who listen, but she's still not a Christian. That's the real sad part. We'll pray for you too. (y)
    autumn oddity likes this.
  12. I am not sure if this was the thread you referred to or not, @tomeka.ridley , but I just read through it. I am so sorry you are hurting and sorry for all the pain I read here. When we're hurting, we read what others write through that pain, and often, it colors what we are feeling and doubles those pains.

    I pray that the L-rd will bring you peace and healing. I can't imagine what you are going through, because, as you pointed out, I have been blessed with marriage and children. I don't know why these recent child died, Tomeka. But here is one assurance: the child was not capable of sustaining life, or s/he would not have passed away in your womb. Oh, that was hard to write, but still....

    Please, Tomeka, rest in the L-rd. Seem Him and His peace....
  13. I am so sorry for your loss. It truly is heartbreaking....

    Don't get beat down into thinking "Your faith is weak" or "You didn't believe enough".... This was not within your control... It's ONLY within God's hands. Not sure if this is any solace or not - but when you start thinking this way - substitute "Faith" for "Obedience" - and repeat it back to yourself.... "I guess my OBEDIENCE was too weak to hold the baby".....

    No.... That's crazy... YOU didn't cause this - either by Neglect or intentionally. Your Faith is not in question.
    TezriLi likes this.
  14. yup..im dealing with this too.
  15. Oh no pancakes! I think I already posted what helped me. You need to do what you can to put your eyes back on Jesus!

    Take a nap, relax, then pray to Jesus about whatever it is you are going through. I will pray for you, too.
  16. thank, I'm glad ur restored...but even when I had a good relationship with god, I still had panic attacks...
    so I'm not sure what else would work...

    I'm one step away from hypnosis x D
  17. Well I assure you, God is your only hope...

    But let's see if this helps... I've never done it before, but someone else did it to me and it helped me.

    Lord Jesus, pancakes here is experiencing something she needs not be. Lord I know through you all things are possible. So please help her with the panic attacks she is experiencing. Let the Holy Spirit guide and protect her. I pray the devil lays no finger on her and that you keep her strong and free from sin. Lord with you all things are possible, so I pray that pancakes here is healed of whatever it is she is currently going through. Lord, see her through to the end, and bless her abundantly by your hand. In your Holy name and blood I do pray.

  18. Pancakes is such a precious person...wish you weren't going through this....
  19. Tomeka, I had a miscarriage in 2010 when I was in my mid 20's. When I found out I was pregnant, my ex boyfriend, his entire family and my mother all spent days trying to talk me into having an abortion. I wasn't even nearly as close to God as I am today, but I made the decision to keep the baby. There was no question as to why I would ever kill my baby just because I made a mistake and sinned. The day after I told everyone I was going to keep the baby no matter what, I began to bleed and found out I lost the baby.

    That was five years ago and if you can believe it or not, I actually feel blessed that it happened. We don't know what the future holds in store for us, God does, and therefore, He knows exactly when the right time for you to have a child is. While I cannot explain or give you an answer as to why you suffered a miscarriage, what I can tell you is that it simply wasn't God's timing. Miscarriages occur up to 25% of the time. Many women have babies successfully the second time. Even if you don't, please do not give up on trusting in God and being patient (as hard as that may be).

    You may want to get your thyroid (TSH, Free T4) checked out by a doctor also as well as for any blood sugar abnormalities. These can lead to miscarriages....as well as numerous other health conditions. It could be God telling you something medical is off and needs to be addressed.

    Lasltly, to comment on your concern about having committed an unforgivable sin, just know that the only true unforgivable sin is blasphemy. Everything else is forgivable. While I believe God teaches us lessons, I don't believe he gets back at us in horrific ways.
  20. I'm over it now. God blessed me with a baby boy this year June 7th.
    Lifeasweknowit likes this.

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