Bluntness

T

TransformedinChrist

Question. I agree we should all walk in love but when there are enemies within the church we need to call them out and address it as we see it.

I have heard pastors preaching 20/80 ratio. 20 Percent do all the work and 80 percent [there are unsaved people in churches all the time] don't mind just sitting in the pew and not serving or doing anything for Christ. Which brings the validity of their salvation and commitment to Jesus to question. I mean when we accept Christ there is always change that follows. Transformation.

Jesus called out the Pharisees and told them exactly how it was.

When addressing the issue - beating around the bush gets no where. Why is it [even me] get so afraid of offending someone. I mean when we look at Jesus - the gospel IS offensive. It's not meant to be all glittery, ponies and rainbows. It cuts to the darkest, wicked and evil parts of our DNA [fallen sin nature].

I struggle with being blunt. I believe you can do it in love. Like if someone is gonna run into a burning building and is going to loose their life - shouldn't the weight of people going go hell bother us? Their consequences are eternal. There is no second chance from that.

So this was what was on my mind tonight.

I once heard someone said I rather scare you to heaven than pacify to you hell.

God doesn't want lip service, he wants life service. - Love that saying.
 
I think There is a time and a place for everything.
Sometimes we can hint and beat around the bush and sometimes that won’t work.
I think praying about it first and gauging the situation and seeing which shoe fits best. If We sense someone can take a gun instead of a bloody knife then a gun is always better. It’s quick and easy and always hits the mark.

Jesus went around driving spirits out of people. He didn’t drive people out, He drive out strongholds from them.
Maybe He was just blunt? Who knows?

when someone is blunt with me, after a little short sharp shock, whatever behaviour I was engaging in is loosened and I am either more aware of it so I can keep it in check or it disappears, ( after a little ego bruising)
It’s like when we used to get tapped on the hand as a child for doing something we shouldn’t.

We are called not to suffer fools gladly. But I also don’t think we should ever show anyone up and do it in public unless it’s subtle.

Blessings ❤️
 
Last edited:
Honest communications need not be offensively delivered. Honesty, tact, and respect are the qualities displayed in loving communication.

That being said, one cannot be responsible for the manner in which such communication is received by the target audience. If the target is being defensive, offense will be taken.

Jesus was bluntly disrespectful with the Pharisees and Saducees, but remember, he could read their thoughts and look into their hearts. We, too, can be that way with others if we, too, have access to their thoughts and hearts.
 
BibleLover said:
Honest communications need not be offensively delivered. Honesty, tact, and respect are the qualities displayed in loving communication.

That being said, one cannot be responsible for the manner in which such communication is received by the target audience. If the target is being defensive, offense will be taken.

Jesus was bluntly disrespectful with the Pharisees and Saducees, but remember, he could read their thoughts and look into their hearts. We, too, can be that way with others if we, too, have access to their thoughts and hearts.
Click to expand...
I really like your input. Thank you.
 
BibleLover said:
Honest communications need not be offensively delivered. Honesty, tact, and respect are the qualities displayed in loving communication. That being said, one cannot be responsible for the manner in which such communication is received by the target audience. If the target is being defensive, offense will be taken. Jesus was bluntly disrespectful with the Pharisees and Saducees, but remember, he could read their thoughts and look into their hearts. We, too, can be that way with others if we, too, have access to their thoughts and hearts.
Click to expand...

Hello BibleLover;

Thank you for sharing. I'm sure your experience in the pastoral ministry exposes you to people of all manners.

People who struggle being blunt, brutally honest or straight up worry how the other will react with anger or hurt, instead of receiving the truth with listening ears, humbleness and humility. Regardless, it always must be done with the love of Christ.

I used to serve as a mentor at a men's recovery program for 20 years. I met with all kinds of men and struggled while listening to them and was hesitant to open up. I prayed about this and asked God to help me be honest, tactful with respectful in ministering to others. He did.

Some of them were big burly men who were released from prison for the worst crimes. They were in the program to get rehabilitated back into society. They were intimidating, very angry and every word was a curse or using God's name in vain.

After meeting so many men in this program the Holy Spirit prompted me to be straight up with the truth that could help them with their extreme circumstances. Some of these burly men broke down. We began to pray and suddenly these men became gentle giants. They were able to face the truth and release why they were so angry, pride and ego driven and how their vices were all an escape from what what enslaving them inside.

Not all the men responded to the program and unfortunately digressed. But the ones who received honest and blunt ministering were humbled. Many received Christ in their life and went on to graduate and live productive lives.

I've been told I can be condescending. Let them say what they will. God is always watching those who serve Him and He will teach the qualities of honesty, tact and respect as Jesus did.

God bless you, brother.
 
crossnote said:
Can’t blunt also take on the meaning of curt or terse. Short answers without being mean spirited?
Click to expand...
TransformedinChrist said:
So bluntness can lead to ministering and humility?
Click to expand...

Hey crossnote and TiC;

Yes, wouldn't you agree being blunt can take on various meanings, be it curt, terse or being truthful?

Bluntness of truth, tact, respectful in love can be used in ministry. Many times when I was being corrected, God teaches us to listen to correction with humbleness and humility, to learn in our walk with Christ.

Your thoughts?
 
I guess for me I have been thru ALOT of trauma with people so critical and ostracizing me for being too on fire for Christ [a Pastor]. I can't see past that painful event when I think about bluntness. It is something I haven't experienced in a good teachable moment so I wouldn't really know what it would be like in a loving way.
 
TransformedinChrist said:
I guess for me I have been thru ALOT of trauma with people so critical and ostracizing me for being too on fire for Christ [a Pastor]. I can't see past that painful event when I think about bluntness. It is something I haven't experienced in a good teachable moment so I wouldn't really know what it would be like in a loving way.
Click to expand...
Are you saying the criticism for 'being too on fire for Christ', came from a pastor?
 
crossnote said:
Are you saying the criticism for 'being too on fire for Christ', came from a pastor?
Click to expand...
My heart went into my throat - yes unfortunately it did. I needed to be a silent witness and not to be "so on fire." It nearly killed me. I walked away from God for a long time afterwards [wrong I know] and never entered into a church again for a long time afterwards [he was a father figure to me and he had 3 daughters - they would introduce me as their 4th daughter whenever we went out]. It wasn't just him. It was him, his wife and a member of the church [3 against 1 - me]. I was 13 at the time. I basically gave up because I thought gosh I thought being in sin, partying, doing drugs would have been way worse. I was so confused that being so in love with Jesus was so bad. Anyhow bluntness to me means being painful to another person. I shy from it. Sorry if it was TMI.
 
Last edited:
TransformedinChrist said:
My heart went into my throat - yes unfortunately it did. I needed to be a silent witness and not to be "so on fire." It nearly killed me. I walked away from God for a long time afterwards [wrong I know] and never entered into a church again for a long time afterwards [he was a father to me and his 3 daughters - they would introduceme as their 4th daughter]. It wasn't just him. It was him, his wife and a member of the church [3 against 1 - me]. I was 13 at the time. I basically gave up because I thought gosh I thought being in sin, parting, doing drugs would have been way worse and I was so confused that being so in love with Jesus was so bad.
Click to expand...
Sounds like that pastor needs a good dose of Rev 3:15-16. (There I go being blunt again).
As a young Christian my atheistic dad (at least not a pastor), wanted me committed to a lulu asylum but that’s how the ‘natural man’ thinks.
I was also accused of being so heavenly-minded but no earthly good’..now that hurt coming from a Christian (but not a pastor).

Matthew 5:11-12 NASB
"Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. [12] Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
 
crossnote said:
Sounds like that pastor needs a good dose of Rev 3:15-16. (There I go being blunt again).
As a young Christian my atheistic dad (at least not a pastor), wanted me committed to a lulu asylum but that’s how the ‘natural man’ thinks.
I was also accused of being so heavenly-minded but no earthly good’..now that hurt coming from a Christian (but not a pastor).

Matthew 5:11-12 NASB
"Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. [12] Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Click to expand...
Yep I was told that too by my mother. No earthly good (heavenly minded).
 
Yea, I get blunt at times. When that happens I am not, in the moment, considering how what I say is being heard by whoever I am talking to.

There were several times in my career when it really stood out (telling my boss something front of co-workers showing he had missed something important).

There have been times including very recently) in this forum where I was intent on being clear in my message that I forgot my purpose was to be helpful in brotherhood while I was making my point. By the time I realized that there was a big beam in my eye (so to speak) it would have added to the problem to bring it up again in an apology.

In each of these cases, 'attacking' my brother was not my intent.
\
At times like this my stored signature really convicts me.
 
Siloam said:
Yea, I get blunt at times. When that happens I am not, in the moment, considering how what I say is being heard by whoever I am talking to.

There were several times in my career when it really stood out (telling my boss something front of co-workers showing he had missed something important).

There have been times including very recently) in this forum where I was intent on being clear in my message that I forgot my purpose was to be helpful in brotherhood while I was making my point. By the time I realized that there was a big beam in my eye (so to speak) it would have added to the problem to bring it up again in an apology.

In each of these cases, 'attacking' my brother was not my intent.
\
At times like this my stored signature really convicts me.
Click to expand...
I really like your post - thank you.
 
TransformedinChrist said:
I guess for me I have been thru ALOT of trauma with people so critical and ostracizing me for being too on fire for Christ [a Pastor]. I can't see past that painful event when I think about bluntness. It is something I haven't experienced in a good teachable moment so I wouldn't really know what it would be like in a loving way.
Click to expand...
crossnote said:
Sounds like that pastor needs a good dose of Rev 3:15-16. (There I go being blunt again). As a young Christian my atheistic dad (at least not a pastor), wanted me committed to a lulu asylum but that’s how the ‘natural man’ thinks. I was also accused of being so heavenly-minded but no earthly good’..now that hurt coming from a Christian (but not a pastor). Matthew 5:11-12 NASB "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. [12] Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Click to expand...

A former pastor asked one of the members not to worship so emotional or spiritually during the praise and worship. She was shocked, this coming from him and to be honest the praise band was also taken aback.

God is angered when watching His shepherd, especially when they refute wrongly or grumble against the flock. God is also watching the flock who grumble behind closed doors against the pastor.

I'm not talking about when the pastor breaks a sheep's heart in the case of sister Pat or TiC who were hurt.

The pastor must pray for the flock especially in cases of 1 Timothy 5:1-2, but we also should pray for our pastor because they also make knucklehead mistakes.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top