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Amazing Simple Home Remedies

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Who am I, May 1, 2008.

  1. Amazing Simple Home Remedies

    AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES





    1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

    2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES
    BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLESWHILE YOU CHOP.

    3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.


    4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

    5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

    6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

    7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

    8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

    9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.


    DAILY THOUGHT:
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACEWHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.



    Be advised, these are not real. It’s only a joke. Do not try this at home.
    Thank you for your cooperation. :)
    Exept for number 7. That works every time.
     
  2. Cute, Dean! Cute!:D

    I'm gonna print those out and hang them up at work.

    My favorite one was the have-someone-else-hold-the-veggies tip. I think I'll use that one - darned near cut off the tip of my finger once while quick-chopping some cabbage.:(
     
  3. Here is a multipurpose remedy that will solve many problems not only at home but many other places too!
    1. Get duct tape
    2. Tear off a piece about 6 inches long
    3. Cover mouth :p
     

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