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Am I doing this Christian thing wrong?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Lifeasweknowit, Jul 29, 2015.

  1. I need some reassurance or correction here.

    As I’ve spent more time in the bible and prayer over the year, I am beginning to be bothered by some things. Specifically, Christians who I do not believe act as such. I need some assistant on whether or not I am being driven by God or the enemy to be upset about so many things.

    Here are a few things, which are bothering me at the moment:

    1) A friend, whom I don’t speak to as much, recently professed to me that the abortion she had a few years ago was the right decision. She attends church weekly. She also just had twins with a man she does not intend on marrying, but that she lives with and is intimate with.

    -I am not condemning her, nor am I angry with her. Instead I am acknowledging, what I believe to be sin, and from what I have read, we are to correct our brothers and sisters in Christ. However, I have not done this with her, because we are not nearly as close as we used to be and I wouldn't know how to approach the situation.

    2) I have a Catholic friend on Facebook who I believe is a heretic. He completely supports homosexuality (he believes that God made certain people this way) and believes that the Book of Job is a satire and that the story of Jonah is a parable. He also says that the world was not created in seven days and that Jesus only talked about love and not hell.

    When I refuted the things he said, he told me that only those who have a deeper understanding of the bible and who have studied hermeneutics and biblical scholarship could truly understand the bible. Essentially stated that I was misinterpreting everything.

    3) I came across a profile photo of my friend’s sister in law who is a Christian. In the photo with her husband, who is a well-known Christian, she is wearing an incredibly tiny bikini, displaying her cleavage and body pretty loudly. It made me feel so uncomfortable seeing this, when she and her husband are well known Christians. What’s worse is that many of their (what I would assume to be) Christian friends liked the picture and made gleaming comments about it.

    So I need to know, have I become too harsh and judgmental? Am I supposed to just love, like so many Christians say nowadays? Are things not supposed to bother me the way that they are?

    Disclosure: I do love, I don’t hate homosexuals (though I do not agree with their lifestyle for obvious reasons) and I definitely don’t judge whether or not someone is a Christian because only God can know the heart. Also, while I have noticed many things in other Christians, I too have noticed more the error of my ways. It’s not just me noticing others.
  2. Well I don't feel that you're observing anything incorrectly. You need to speak the truth and let them believe as they wish - they've been warned and their blood will be upon their head. Remember the prophecy that in the last days it'll be like the days of Noah and Lot - people will call good evil and evil good. There's not much you can do with a carnally minded person except pray they see the truth before it's too late. Many will call Jesus "Lord Lord" but He'll reject them, having never known them. Being a true follower of Christ is a very lonely journey. Everything they replied to you are signs that they're not really Christians but "1, 2, 3, pray after me" pseudo-Christians - aka still-borns. Remember:

    Revelation 21:7-8 (KJV)
    He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. ​
    Lifeasweknowit and KingJ say Amen and like this.
  3. Just a thought, a general comment : )

    We are FREE. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life…
    Since we have Jesus, Truth sets us Free….

    FREEdom remains a Freedom even not exercise… say, Freedom of Speech remains there, even if a person choose to be silent…

    What is now the valid reason not to exercise Freedom? LOVE.
    Not exercising that FREEDOM for the sake, for the LOVE of a brother of a weaker Faith: is a good reason: it is based on LOVE.
    Not exercising that FREEDOM because of FEAR of what “other” people say, is not a good reason: it is based on FEAR, imo
    Exercising Freedom, takes into consideration as well: LOVE, it is to exercise Freedom not in itself, but to exercise it out of LOVE.

    1 Corinthians 10:23-33New King James Version (NKJV)
    All to the Glory of God

    23 All things are lawful for me,[a] but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me,[b] but not all things edify. 24 Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.
    25 Eat whatever is sold in the meat market, asking no questions for conscience’ sake; 26 for “the earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness.”[c]
    27 If any of those who do not believe invites you to dinner, and you desire to go, eat whatever is set before you, asking no question for conscience’ sake. 28 But if anyone says to you, “This was offered to idols,” do not eat it for the sake of the one who told you, and for conscience’ sake;[d] for “the earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness.”[e] 29 “Conscience,” I say, not your own, but that of the other. For why is my liberty judged by another man’s conscience? 30 But if I partake with thanks, why am I evil spoken of for the food over which I give thanks?
    31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 32 Give no offense, either to the Jews or to the Greeks or to the church of God, 33 just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.
    frdpwr427 likes this.
  4. Although, I think my "general" comment, is actually trying to address Item no. 3 : )
  5. The great problem of Americanized christianity.

    Billy Graham has said multiple times that if 25% of professing Christians were without a doubt saved, he could sleep at night.

    The truth of the matter is many people who go to church in the privileged countries do not have any substance to their faith. Now we are saved by faith alone, but as James 2:14 states, faith without works is dead. Now I'm not saying that we don't make mistakes. The friend who posted the bikini picture, may just be ignorant of how people are viewing her. It does not mean it is right, but it is a common thing I see in women who are too naive for their own good.

    The woman who murdered her child, and lives in sexual immorality, more than likely is not saved. Now it is not my, or anybody else's place to condemn her. But if she is living in sin and professes to be a christian, she needs to be confronted (by 2 or 3 witnesses) and told that she
    A) murdered her child and needs to repent of that
    B)stop living in sexual immorality and repent of that
    Depending on her response, she may need to even go to C)which is for her to test her faith as in 1st Corinthians 2:5. 1st John is a wonderful book for that

    Based on her response, she will reveal her true heart to you.

    In the case of the Catholic guy, he is just following a different gospel than what is in the bible. Sounds like he has been indoctrinated by a lot men and he is pursuing the lusts of his heart. He is not a born again believer
    Lifeasweknowit and KingJ say Amen and like this.
  6. We will always see or have things in our lives that bother us. This includes people too.
    We are to hate the sin and love the person. We are called ( commanded ) to walk in Love and Forgivenss. This means praying for them and a not prayers saying God change them. Nope we must pray over them with His word. Blessing them and praying Gods truth will fill their hearts and minds.

    God will direct our foot steps. He will guide us in how to handle it BUT IT WILL NOT ever be outside of His word. Do NOT allow feelings and our own beliefs hinder how we love them or forgive them or pray for them.

    Only when we walk according to His word will we find His guidence. Another words - walk out side of love and forgiveness and you are walking on your own - this limits what God can do in the situation.
    Lifeasweknowit, Cturtle and Siloam says Amen and like this.
  7. No, thats normal, I get bothered by the same things.
    Its not judging although it feels like maybe you are, its just being discerning that these people arent truly following Him, even while they profess with their lips, they dont believe with their heart.

    In those case, these people may be lost, deceived or gone astray. Ask Him to draw them back. If you need to speak the truth and say something, ask Him to give you the words to say. They need to repent, and God grants them repentence, sometimes it may be through something you or another person might say or a scripture that convicts them...or when sin catches up with them and trips them up.

    Loving thing to do is pray and intercede, and if necessary, gentle correction. If they not listening, take another believer and together talk with them , and if still not, tell it to the church as per instructions in Matthew.
  8. LOL

    Well first; if you find a Church with no sinners or hypocrites please let me know....

    That being said:

    Second; this is probably when you realize how very few people are actually true believers and get depressed thinking about everyone going to hell....

    I haven't gotten past that stage yet; if you discover the secret to this please let me know. (I know-don't worry-God is control..right?) I am pretty sure this boils down to a 'faith fight' and it never gets easier. I might have said this to you before Tink; signing up as a Christian only gets harder the more in depth you get in the spiritual battle.

    That's why we NEED fellowship with BIBLE BELIEVING Christians. To recharge the spiritual batteries. We are having fellowship on Lake Ontario at Golden Hill State Park tonight if you want to come! :)

    There is no grey area with God: you either believe the Bible or you don't.....

    If you find a passage in the Bible that says we live on Easy Street after we convert please share.
    autumn oddity, JG27_chili and KingJ says Amen and like this.
  9. One thing which I am pretty certain about, is that your Facebook friend has very little understanding of the Bible if they profess that you can't understand the Bible without specialist education.

    Frankly this is one of the most absurd things I have heard.
    JG27_chili, Lifeasweknowit and Cturtle says Amen and like this.
  10. Whether or not you choose to say something to any of these people is something that should ultimately be between you and God. I will say that often it's not what is said, but rather some simple, quiet observation that no one else sees, or some simple unknown thing someone does that will bring others to the Lord.

    Next, if you go through each day mentally cataloguing, "Going to heaven, going to hell, heaven maybe, oh yeah definitely hell... etc." you are going to accomplish nothing but driving yourself insane. While recognizing right and wrong is definitely important for us, also recognizing that when we see things people do and say that we are only getting a snapshot of them is important. That moment you have seen is likely not the defining moment of someone's life and as long as they are still living, there is still hope for them to find God or to realize they can have a deeper, richer, more meaningful relationship with Him.

    I do think it's interesting that you have come here concerned about your own perception of all this. I think there is tremendous value in that. As much as it can be easy to see things going awry in another person's life, that can often be a blinder to seeing the ways in which we can improve our own. To be 100% clear: I do not know you personally. I think this is actually the first time we've spoken here. But so long as we are looking at others walks (or stumbles) rather than our own, we are looking at something we are powerless to change.

    Perhaps the best and most constructive thing you can do is ask yourself how you can strengthen your own connection with Jesus, since in doing that you will become stronger in your own faith and that extra brightness will reflect out like light from a lighthouse, and is quite possibly the best chance you have at reaching the people your heart breaks to see floundering.

    Either way, I pray that God will help you find some form of peace and comfort. This is one of the hardest things we face, especially when those we are seeing things in are friends and loved ones that way may not be able to reach. Take care.
    autumn oddity and Fish Catcher Jim say Amen and like this.
  11. Thank you for this :). I wanted to stress something I possibly didn't in the OP...namely that I wasn't condemning anyone or making judgements on their salvation. I am incredibly hesitant to ever judge if someone is or isn't a Christian so I stay away from that (as hard as it may be sometimes). I leave that to God and God alone. Also, I am very aware of my sins and ask God every day to help me overcome them. Hopefully the post did not come across as though I think I'm Holy, and others are not...because that's definitely not the case.
    autumn oddity, Cturtle and Kathy says Amen and like this.
  12. I agree, and the context in which it was said made me feel as though he thought that I was completely uninformed about the bible and that I was being either lied to or interpreting the bible incorrectly. I really wanted to discuss it in more detail, but he's a very intelligent man and I honestly feel that he would have kept making me feel unintelligent so I just let it go.
    Fish_of_Faith likes this.
  13. #13 Lifeasweknowit, Jul 29, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2015
    Thank you:)
    Forgive me for some of the silly questions (I've had these on my mind for a while), but is it OK for a Christian to discern confidently whether or not someone else is an authentic Christian? This is one of those things I am super hesitant to give in to (as hard as it may be) because of things I've read in the bible. I also wont say whether or not someone is going to hell....I feel like it's so wrong to say that because I can't see their heart. I just can't get over how upset I feel about the contradiction in their actions/words. So I'm torn as to if I listen to what Paul in 1 Corinthians 5:11. How serious should I take that verse? This is why I'm getting so confused when other people say that Jesus is love (which of course!!) and that all we should do is love and forgive and let things go. What about all the other scriptures that discuss correcting a brother? Do we simply negate those because we are to forgive? Can't we do both? Btw, I do forgive each person. Doesn't mean it doesn't bug me a little still... yes I know that there will be none that are sinless, but those living in consistent sin that seemingly have no remorse is difficult to watch/hear about.

    Oh and I would love to come, but I'd have to have taken a plane many hours ago! :eek:
  14. I have to be honest, I am still trying to understand it :oops::notworthy:
    The reason #3 bothered me in particular is because I feel that she should know better than to create a potential stumbling block for others. Like another one said, however, perhaps she simply doesn't realize what she is doing.

    Goodness...the more I read what I am writing, the more it comes off as though I am super judgmental. See, this is what's getting to me! In the past, I would have thought nothing about her profile pic other than "WOW!" (in a good, heterosexual way) now I'm just thinking "well that's disturbing..."

    I feel like I've turned into a prude.
  15. Gee I had better stay away from that church... I would spoil their statistics...

    But seriously, I know it is hard to know when to speak and how much. Both in terms of minding our own walk, as well as how we are affecting the situation.

    Would our words help the person to a relationship with the Lord, or edify one already there?

    Or, would our words drive the person farther from acceptance?

    As far as loving the sinner but hating the sin, I would think that the better part of that is the loving part. Even when that love is manifested by telling a hard truth, it often has better effect than condemnation regardless of whether that condemnation is directed at the sin, or the sinner.
  16. OK, I'm feeling like the lousiest Christian in the world at the moment but I'll try.

    John 4 17 “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

    I think she then goes on to believe he is the Messiah and he confirms this. So some sort of belief I guess was possible even after 5 husbands followed by an affair. The thing Jesus doesn't do is bite her head off about it. He seems to me to have had more problems with Pharisees.

    I don't know where the balance is and I'm not one who these days (the only brief relationship I had was an affair) believes in sex outside marriage.
  17. No child has ever learned to love peas because of a parent threatening no dessert if they didn't finish their veggies. A genuine love of peas (or anything else that seems contrary to oneself) happens through willingness, change, and growth. In much the same way, cultivating a real, organic and genuine relationship with God is almost backwards within the context of the culture we live in. We can't make people do it, and condemning them when they stumble is not going to bring them closer to Him. If we are asked for advice that's one thing, but going around telling people they're in trouble is usually not the best way to advance the Kingdom of God.

    In each of the examples you gave in your origional posts, you have presented us with an individual who has already made a mistake. The sin has been committed. You cannot change that sin; it's over. The question comes down to what will you do and how will you allow it to effect your own faith.

    With regard to the woman who had the abortion, it's quite possible that what she says (about it being the right choice) is a surface veil to protect her own sanity. While it might make you feel better if she was publicly aggrieved about her past decision, would that really increase her faith and strengthen her? And even if she is not expressing a lament publicly, does that automatically preclude that she sleeps soundly at night when the rest of the world cannot see how her choice has affected her? Despite the poor choice in partnership, it appears she is keeping the twins. Why not pray thanking God that they will live and asking that he grant them a blessing of peace and protection, that his love will encircle and provide them with stability since it does seem likely that their lives may be difficult? (Though difficult for children is frustrating to hear about, it is still better than dead.)

    With regard to your facebook friend who is Catholic, my heart bleeds for him. Oh the dangers of allowing intellect to be our spiritual leader, leaving no room for faith or a connection with God that truly comes from the heart. I've been there! I've lived that! The mind is an amazing and beautiful thing, but when it is used as a wall to separate us from God it becomes a prison. Pray that the Lord will envelop your friend with His wisdom, that the truth of the Word will be granted to him so that he will be freed from confusion and false doctrine.

    Lastly, your friend who wore the bikini... It does not matter how long or how short a time we have walked with God. Our sins are not weighed against this, nor do we all take the same progression of growth at the same speed and along the same path. It is entirely possible that your friend here has other issues that are of much greater impact to the Lord right now. We do not necessarily turn away (which is, after all, what it means to repent) of everything in the blink of an eye. Pray that the Lord will show her the danger her immodest dress poses toward the hearts and minds of good and honest men. But -als0- pray that you will be strengthened against the danger of committing adultery in your own heart with her or any other. Matthew 5:27-28

    This issue is not one sided, but rather part of a complex, two sided coin. Issues of modesty are one of the most difficult things for any of us to address because (as far as I can tell?) we are not given a truly detailed description of what Godly modesty--not to be confused with "what was acceptable in 1st century Israel"--is. If the bikini was a few pieces of string I'm right there with ya. But that doesn't answer the question... Was it truly immodest? Is a bikini immodest in general? Is a regular bathing suit still immodest since the color of it outlines the thighs and contours intimate parts of the body? Should a modest people avoid going to the beach entirely as beach attire in the modern would automatically equates to immodesty and risks causing impure thoughts in others? Should their be Christian beaches just like there are beaches for people who don't want any clothes?

    I don't know about you, but I don't have the answers to those questions. I can only strive to answer the basic question of "What is modesty?" for myself and then do my best to turn away from anything others do that threatens to damage my own behavior.

    Which leads me to my answer about whether to keep these people in your life: do you feel that they are threatening you carrying out or staying committed to your own faith? If yes, then by all means you need to ensure that your own foundation is solid before you are able to help another. If not, pray for guidance on how best to assist those in your life who might be struggling.

    I hope something here is helpful. Take care.
    Paul K, Lifeasweknowit, Big Moose and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  18. There is difference between "fellowship" and "ministering": we "minister" to ALL people, we "fellowship" with believers. Fellowship leads to intimate relationships (not sexual intimacy); sincere, genuine, allowed to be yourself relationships. Doing this with unbelievers and those unwilling to obey or grow in Christ is counterproductive to your spiritual walk. The Bible says to 'cut them off' that continue in disobedience & wickedness. (See: Matthew 18:15-17)

    No 'human' can judge the heart of another-that is for God; but as we discern the signs of times, we can discern through the Holy Spirit the 'fruits of the Spirit'. Which is what I believe you are experiencing.

    Cutting ties with 'friends' and family is probably the hardest thing you will ever do as a Christian. Minister to them- YES: live it and be an example, give, be a listening ear, have a heart for the lost. But keep your fellowship with Christ and let Him work through you to reach those who deny Him.

    Knowing where the line is drawn gets really blurry when we allow too much of our hearts to be entangled in those with the mind of the world-I know this one well....

    Quite frankly; the Christian life can be a lonely troubled place some days.

    Remember this and you will do well: In all things ask this one simple question: "Is (fill in the blank) Holy and pleasing to God?" I add pleasing to God because we have a tendency to be 'holy' in the law or 'holy ' in grace but not have the heart condition straightened out with God. We MUST have Grace AND Truth IN Love. Either Grace (forgiveness and mercy) with no truth, or Truth (the law) with no Grace can be sin if we negate God's principles of creation and the perpetuation of life and appease disobedient natures because of our emotions.
    Lifeasweknowit and Klub say Amen and like this.
  19. I agree.....although my specialist is the Holy Spirit :)
    autumn oddity, JG27_chili, Lifeasweknowit and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  20. I think it is not some much the 'what' that we say; but the 'how' we say it. I am not very good at the 'how' part. When I first got saved I didn't have a Biblically correct lead and ended becoming a legalist my first 2 years after salvation. Then I backslid for several years, doubted my salvation, questioned the whole thing, made some terrible life choices for which I am still in the midst of the consequences after putting a rift between my family members and marring the name of Christ. All thanks to my hardened disobedient heart.

    Since then I have recognized the danger in 'ultra-truth'; and I have also come to realize that the liberal 'ultra-grace' church is just as dangerous and blasphemous as 'legalism'.

    "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves."
    Matthew 7:13-15
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