All about Canada...

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Dusty, Feb 1, 2008.

  1. All about Canada...

    Maybe if you are not Canadian .... you might not understand some of this .... but it is funny.​

    [SIZE=+1]"All about Canada" [/SIZE]

    Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
    Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(England)
    A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

    Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
    Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
    Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
    A: What, did your last slave die?
    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )
    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-Nada is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
    Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do .
    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
    Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
    A: No, WE don't stink.
    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
    Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
    Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
    A: Only at Thanksgiving.
    Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )
    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
  2. Serious FYI...

    For those legal citizens of the USA who visit our Canadian brothers and sisters in their country, you WILL need a US passport to get back in to the US if you are traveling on commercial aircraft. If not, you could be there for awhile trying to spot those pesky Polar Bears in downton Pickle Crow, Ontario.
  3. ^^ That somehow reminded me of the old movie "Born in East LA". XD
  4. The questions sound perfectly reasonable to me.:D
  5. Ha ha .... PAstor Gary,

    It has also been passed that crossing by land at the border... example Detroit , Niagara Falls , Buffalo etc that you need a passport or two pieces of ID with picture and they are becoming very strick about that. They are also checking us very closely when coming back for the States as recently we got nailed at the border and all of us in the bus had to come out .... the bus was searched and we had to submit all our receipts of purchase and well as show what we had bought. It is almost like you get the feeling of being a criminal. Oh well I know they have to do what they have do , but it was never like that before. Plus most of us had to pay a fine..... I was not a happy camper.
  6. You can thank 'AL Queda' for the heightened security.

    Remember old AL ?... He was married to Margaret Queda. They tried to cross the border in June of 1999 from Canada to the US at Niagara Falls without any documentation because Margaret dropped her purse in the river and it ended up on the American side... LOL... Talk about an international security scare... whew... :D

    That darned AL and his wife messed things up for all of us international travelers. ;)
  7. So true Pastor Gary. The world will never be the same. Ha ha , I like your humour.
  8. That was great!!!

    Had me laughing so hard!

    I like the one: what, did your last slave die?

    Hee hee hee:D

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