Being quite frank...I feel a bit let down. I met someone I thought was great, but in my opinion, showed little integrity. I met other guys who appeared spiritually sound, but were hiding behind lust, hatefulness, and doubts about God.
I just want a good, honest, God fearing man who truly loves me. I think the problem is I'm a nurturer and tend to attract men with issues, who aren't over their exes, have family problems...the list goes on. I have issues myself, but I hide them and try to help others. I take that back, we all have problems, so that's really not the issue. It's that I find men who are all about me in the beginning, but fall off the radar. That or they are emotionally unavailable to a certain extent from the beginning. Maybe they want to see me a lot, but never call, or commit. So then I pull away and they come chasing again. I'm so sick and tired of the cat and mouse game. I just want someone who's all in and not unsure or wanting to play games.
I have guy friends who i've known for years and would fully commit themselves to me, but we are not spiritually equal and a lot of them continue to live in sin.
I'm just trying to find someone genuine and with integrity. Not some coward afraid to hurt a woman's feelings, or some insecure man who jumps from woman to woman because he can't stand being alone.
Sorry, I just needed to vent. God bless you all.
Tink, all I can say to you re this is to go for a man who's heart is for Jesus first and foremost. The man who puts the love of Jesus and commitment to his word and teaching first is a man who is strong in God and knows how to treat his wife in accordance with the way that Jesus would want him to, and as Jesus knows best how to treat a wife, and thinks more of you and loves you more than your husband ever could, a man trying to emulate that is going to be a decent partner.
Re the discussion as a hole, I was talking to a man at my church about this not that long ago, that there is this perception that Christian men are weak and pathetic and having given it a lot of thought I had deduced that this is for three reasons.
The first being the fact that a Christian man doesn't seek the approval of other men through demonstrations of wealth, physical prowess or intellectual superiority, and these are the things that men who follow worldly culture strive for. They're Identity is formed on the options of other humans which they develop essentially through pea-cocking with their belonging, status and wealth. Is that field of comparison, a man who looks at himself and others and judges himself on how much he has or how physically capable he is or how many women he can attract will look at a man who is not striving after worldly possessions or the approval of the men around him as being weak and out of the running in the comparative masculine competition. This also fits in to the fact that a lot of worldly men place their identity in how many women they can sleep with and so the bragging of this becomes the accolade of manly adoration to other men. Speaking from a sad sinful past I know for a fact that the bragging rights of the activity can actually become the drive behind doing it and therefore cause the activity to be a means of claiming a masculine identity. It's so sad when I think back on it and when I see it in others lives. The thing I learned ultimately is that my identity is in Christ and the striving that I made toward the approval of others was ultimately empty, the approval of Christ is earned without striving which is a total mind blower! So I think for that reason Christian men can be perceived as weak because they are not part of the bragging circle.
The last on a macho front is that Christian men can be seen seen as weak because they oppose violence and the threat of violence. A particular thing with the masculine culture in the North East of England I find (obviously many other places too) that if a man insults you and your response isn't "I'll knock him out if he says it to my face" can been seen as weak, but this to me is the most absurd reasoning as the lack of violence in the face of it is in fact far braver. For me anyone who refers to Christian men as weak I refer them to the apostles and members of the early church. Paul was shipwrecked three times, flogged for his belief and imprisoned for his belief, and he was stoned by the people of Antioch who thought he was dead, then got up and WENT BACK into the city! Steven was stoned to death for not renouncing Christ. Peter and John were both flogged for not stopping their preaching of Christ. AND it is believed from non scripture sources that James was thrown from a roof for his believe and then his younger brother Simeon, knowing that his brother Jesus had been killed on the cross for what he said, and then his brother James had been killed for continuing to preach what Jesus had, he then found the courage to step into James shoes and lead the church in Jerusalem. It's also believed that Peter was executed upside down on a cross for not agreeing to deny Jesus's teachings.
To me, none of these brave acts could be seen as weak even in modern estimations, if a man can face death and the way of getting out of it is simply to stop saying something that people don't like and yet knowing it's true you carry on regardless is pretty brave and not at all weak. To deny yourself worldly pleasures for the Lord and to stand up and be counted as a Christian man no matter the consequence is what makes Christian men in fact the strongest sort of man.
I think great leaders and great men are men willing to admit mistakes and show remorse and act in kind to their mistakes, I also think a great man is someone who cares for and looks after others with no thought for themselves or what that takes from them, their time and their wealth. Therefore if you are a man following the teachings of scripture with a heart for what Jesus had a heart for then you are a masculine and strong man indeed. And in pursuing Jesus in this a man receives the gift of the Holy Spirit and his power and strength and as far as I'm concerned a man with the strength of God in him is a supernaturally strong man which trumps physically strong any day.