I've always considered myself to be a believer and even as I type this I still do. Recently, I went on a date with a girl from my bible study group and we kissed at the end of the night. We talked and at least from my end I was not trying to make sexual advances nor have sex with her. I made this clear to her by telling her before anything happened. I really liked her or at least felt like I did at the time, she was also very receptive of me and assured me that she wanted to see me soon at the end of the night.
She was quick to regret the night the following day despite having feelings for me. She felt that her actions were ungodly. I sincerely tried to talk her through it and never undermined the way she felt when she made it clear to me that she felt bad about it. She became bothered that I didn't appear sorry for kissing her and wanted nothing to do with me. She said that God was calling her to a different ministry even. When I thought this situation was over and knew it was a mistake to display affection for her so soon, she went to my student ministry group and cried to the leaders giving them a story that more or less made me out to be a manipulative predator.
I was dragged into a room minutes before the usual small group meeting happened where the heads of the ministry were sitting. They immediately were asking me about the incident and I was upset at both them for putting me in a high pressure situation and the girl for lying to them. Since then, I have been forced to attend a one on one meeting with one of the leaders an hour a week to talk or else I won't be allowed back. The girl, however, has no punishment.
I'm really embittered about the situation because our conversations haven't been very fruitful between me and this leader guy. On our initial meeting he brought up the situation and when I told him the truth he wasn't willing to take it as anymore than "my side" of the story and was harsh against me. When I was defensive about his allegations against my character he told me that I had issues with authority and that too was sinful. I can't help but feel not only offended by many instances in our conversations, but I truly believe it is pushing me away from my faith. I feel that I have to be completely docile and accept everything he says as truth or I am some self-righteous rebel. In this, I can't help but question myself and doubt myself as truly being saved anymore. I know works don't save you, but your works should reflect the way in which you feel about Christ. It's been a real burden on me the last few days and I feel like a prisoner. I felt like I was growing in my group and was holding good godly conversations with people. I need some security in this situation. Am I justified to feel this way? Where should I go from here?
She was quick to regret the night the following day despite having feelings for me. She felt that her actions were ungodly. I sincerely tried to talk her through it and never undermined the way she felt when she made it clear to me that she felt bad about it. She became bothered that I didn't appear sorry for kissing her and wanted nothing to do with me. She said that God was calling her to a different ministry even. When I thought this situation was over and knew it was a mistake to display affection for her so soon, she went to my student ministry group and cried to the leaders giving them a story that more or less made me out to be a manipulative predator.
I was dragged into a room minutes before the usual small group meeting happened where the heads of the ministry were sitting. They immediately were asking me about the incident and I was upset at both them for putting me in a high pressure situation and the girl for lying to them. Since then, I have been forced to attend a one on one meeting with one of the leaders an hour a week to talk or else I won't be allowed back. The girl, however, has no punishment.
I'm really embittered about the situation because our conversations haven't been very fruitful between me and this leader guy. On our initial meeting he brought up the situation and when I told him the truth he wasn't willing to take it as anymore than "my side" of the story and was harsh against me. When I was defensive about his allegations against my character he told me that I had issues with authority and that too was sinful. I can't help but feel not only offended by many instances in our conversations, but I truly believe it is pushing me away from my faith. I feel that I have to be completely docile and accept everything he says as truth or I am some self-righteous rebel. In this, I can't help but question myself and doubt myself as truly being saved anymore. I know works don't save you, but your works should reflect the way in which you feel about Christ. It's been a real burden on me the last few days and I feel like a prisoner. I felt like I was growing in my group and was holding good godly conversations with people. I need some security in this situation. Am I justified to feel this way? Where should I go from here?